Don't call me cheater

Chapter-13

Everything was going well between me and Asif we were in love and by then everyone in the collage knew it without us saying so. Many girls used to hate me out of jealousy, and we were the popular couple in the Uni. Yosuf became contactless after he heard about us, why won’t he? Anyone would have done so. Uni became our dating spot, everywhere we went from class to library we left mark of romance there. But I never let those things come between my study and neither he did that.

One day we were just about to go for a lecture when he stopped us,

‘Let's go to bald hill now’

‘Why now? We have a lecture to attend’

‘I am in a romantic mood, and on the top of that this chemistry lecture is useless, whether we will be in class or not we are not going to understand anything.’

He was right actually, I wonder if he himself understands what he says, other than him no-one ever understood him and at top of that no-one ever complained about him because he used to give good marks in exam even if the paper wasn’t good enough.

I agreed, and spending time with him would have worth the bunk of lecture.

The season was a monsoon. The sky was cloudy, and we both lacked an umbrella, but that wasn’t going to stop us.

‘Asif, can I ask you a question’, I asked on the way. We were both walking side by side my hands on his arms and our fingers clenched with one another.

‘Ask two’

‘What did you saw in me that you didn’t in other girls’

He laughed a little and thought seriously about that for a while,

‘I didn’t think this question would arise, But I never thought about the thing in you that attracted me, it’s just whole you that I saw and liked’

I wasn’t satisfied with the answered

‘But there should be a spark you know from when you began to notice she can be my soulmate like me when I saw you on the admission day’, I stopped walking, quickly realizing he still was unknown about that.

‘Wait, you noticed me when?’ he also stopped walking, and then we were facing each other.

‘It isn’t important. Just tell me the moment you first felt a spark for me’

‘Do you think I am letting you go without telling me about admission day’

‘You may do what you want but I am not going to tell you anything until you answer my question’

‘So you aren’t letting me go, Are you?’

‘Right’

We started climbing again

‘I noticed you at the first practical lab, you were just a sweet shy girl to me then, remember how you moved back when I got close to you to see the newton’s ring’, he chuckled

‘I know and you were laughing at me’

‘I just couldn’t resist my laugh. Girls used to search reason to come close to me and there were you going away’

‘I am not like those type of girls’

‘Yes, that’s the point you were different. But the time when I knew I was attracted to you was the time when I saw you coming to Uni with Yosuf. He is my close friend but I felt jealous. It was like she is from our department don’t think of flirting.’

‘Really, but you were the one who told me to hook up with him’

‘And you bought it. I wanted to be sure you aren’t interested. You don’t know how much happy it made me when you said you weren’t interested’

I recalled those moments and it made sense then, and I was the stupid one to think nonsense and ruined my days.

‘I won’t have suffered that much, if you had said you like me right away’

‘I have already shared mine now it’s your turn when you first had the spark’

‘The day when you came for admission, you were with your sister I knew that later. You stood there like a charm, a ray in the dark I didn’t think you were my soulmate that day but I wished you were the one’

Asif lifted his hands and hugged me tightly. ‘If you had expressed me that at the beginning I won’t have to get jealous of Yosuf’ he laughed

We were already in the middle of the forest he grabbed me from my back pulling me closure to him.

‘So I was your crush hmm? You made me more romantic and you have to bear the consequences,’

He lowered his head to mine and went toward my lips, I kissed him back. I was getting better at that. Soon it started raining it was at high altitude the surrounding soon was covered with fog, we ran toward the tower for shelter. The fog was so thick that not even the nearest tree was seen from there. The temperature began to lower and we both were cold. We hugged each other Asif sheltered me inside his jacket which he was still wearing. We were two but at that time we were one. I sat on his lap at the tower facing him kissing him and grasping him. He went for my bra and unhooked it and if he was an expert. My loose breasts were asking for him my whole body was trembling for him. He slowly moved his hands from the back to my breast. He ran his finger around my n*****s. I was trembling more and more, our kiss became more intense. A sudden gust of satisfaction, trembles, excitement, and huger strike me releasing every kind of hormone from my brain to my genitals. It was my first orgasm. But the excitement didn’t stop there. Asif laid me on the floor and Swiped my t-shirt up, licking from my navel he reached the n*****s and played it with his tongue, I was consumed by it the burn originated from my genitals and flowed through my whole body. He went toward the neck and then the ear. His hands still playing with my breasts. He slowly moved it toward my leg and moving up he came between my thigh. I want that my heart was fluttered but I stopped him at that point.

‘Not now’, I said and that was involuntarily.

Asif stopped everything he was doing, we stood up. I thought I messed up. ‘I am sorry, anything I do with you is my first one, I want them to be discrete and each moment creating a memory’

‘I respect your feeling, I don’t want to rush too I just became a victim of my hormones, you don’t have to say sorry’

I hugged him again. The fog around us was slowly thinning but the rain wasn’t going to stop. We were under the same jacket me hugging him, and the sound of rain in the background made it even more romantic. He began to sing and I was flowing with his melody. That day rain didn't stop as if the weather wanted us to be there. At last, we sheltered ourselves under Asif's jacket over our head and run toward the road. It was messy but overly histrionic

Everything was fine, my day used to start with him and end with him. It was the final exam of our second semester. As usual, we were reading in the library. Punkuj was there too. But something happened that day Asif looked pale. I asked him why? He didn’t answer. Punkuj and I were discussing every question in the question bank but he was just involved within himself. He didn’t used to do that kind of thing, I thought it must be exam pressure as in the previous semester he got a low GPA.

While we were returning home, he was still silent. I asked him what happened? But there was no reaction. I even bid him sorry for the thing I didn’t even do but again he was unbothered. At a point he increased his pace and walked ahead of me, I ran toward him but it was just like running toward the end of the world. He got into a bus and I ran for it. I sat next to him, as usual, I kept my head on his shoulder but he jerked my head. I again tried but it was futile up to the point that it was embarrassing around the other passenger who were watching us continuously. He never used to do that before, I was hurt and worried for him. The question Why? Cling on to my mind. Tears started rolling down my eyes. Till then I was head over heels for him, I was too attached and habitual of him that even the imagination of him being far from me would shatter my heart, and that time an unanswered reason was making him far from me. I get down of the bus at my station, I could barely see what was happening around due to tears in my eyes. I went home and got straight into my room. I played a sound system on the top volume and cried my heart out which was piling up due to his anger toward me.

I recalled all the events that happened that day which could lure him against me but non of the reasons were valid and on top of that, that day in the morning he was so happy with me as I send him a cute love letter the previous day. He just came and hugged me in excitement.

I wrote a series of promises there like ‘I promise you I will take care of you’

‘I promise you I won’t let anyone come between’ and ‘I promise you I will handle your mood swings.’

I was restless, I called him he didn’t answer, I text him that was also pointless. My heart was aching with each ignorance. If that pain last longer I thought I would die of heartbreak. I tried to sleep but tears were coming continuously and I was sleepless. I became a psycho. I was never hurt like that before, I realized why people say love hurts the most. I had only seen the sweet part of that, but the hard part was yet to come. I must had been in a subconscious sleep when messenger notification sound jerks me. I hurried to it hoping it was from Asif. And it was from Asif. I opened the inbox, ‘Let’s break up’

I was devastated, his words shattered me. I wasn’t ready to give up on that. I hurried to call him but he didn’t pick up instead he texted me ‘Don’t call me ever’

‘What happened at least give me the reason’

‘Don’t act like you don’t know anything’

‘I don’t know, please tell me what went wrong everything was fine till this morning’ I was seriously crying out so loud while typing it.

‘I can’t be with a girl who can’t even hold on to her promise’

‘when I didn’t keep my promise’

‘I cried when I read your letter yesterday, I was so happy that I couldn’t wait to see you next morning but there you were, you don’t even respond when I acted as if I was off. If you can’t keep it why to promise. I am done with you’

I feel it lame now actually lame but that time I don’t know from where I found sense in it. I felt sorry for him even though none of it was my mistake. I cried the whole night. The next day my eyes were swollen the smile which was dominant lately faded away. The next day was my exam I was supposed to read but the thing I did was just cry. My paper got ruined but the only thing I worried about was him. I went to him persuading again with tears in my eyes.

‘I haven’t eaten anything since morning, I am hungry’, I said going near with tears in my eyes

Before this hatred of him toward me, the most important thing he ever cared about me was my hunger, he never let me be hungry. After every lecture he was like, ‘Are you hungry? Let’s go to eat’

But this time his answer was

‘If you are hungry go and eat’

‘I can’t I am habitual to eat with you’

He became silent and went to a nearby cafe I followed him

He ordered 2 plate momos my favorite. When we got the ordered meal I pierce one with a spoon and went it to his mouth, he denied. Tears again came to my eyes, he looked at me with pity this time and bend over and gave me a light kiss, I was happy. I ate all those momos while crying.

‘I am sorry’, maybe it was 100th time I was saying those

‘It is hard to forget but I will try’, said he. His sentences lifted all the heavy stones that were on my heart since the previous day. I kept my head on his shoulder again and this time he didn’t do anything.

Seeing how upset he could be by a slight mistake of mine made me fear about the activities I did with him. That was just the beginning of my toxic but intense relation.