Don't call me cheater

Chapter-11

I was sad and happy at the same time, shy and confident, anxious, and joyed all at the same time maybe it was the side effect of love. But I was liking it. First feeling first crush first love everything was new to me but I wanted that again and again. When I entered the room Sobu hurried to me, she was worried.

‘Why didn’t you pick up the calls?’ she scolded

‘you know I was with him, I kept it silent’

‘Your mom has been calling me the whole day asking about you’

Horror came to me again

‘What did you said?’

‘To prevent disclosure I told her you left your mob here and went to roam Mini around’

Mini is a lady dog we had there.

‘Did she buy it?’

‘Yeah, at the start but after 2 hours she again called me’

Horror Horror Horror

‘What did you said then?’

‘I told her you are gone for shower’

‘And’

‘Just 5 min ago she again called and I didn’t pick the call, I was exhausted of lying for you, why do you have to go for so long’

‘I just forget everything when I am with him, I think I am going crazy’

‘stop self-pitying and go and talk with your mom’

I called her on messenger.

She looked angry on video,

‘Mom’

‘What mom? where were you all day’

‘I took mini to ride, I had a shower, and I helped Sobi on kitchen too’

‘What it has to do with you not picking up the calls’

‘I just forget about the mob, sorry mom please don’t be angry it will never happen again’

‘Okay, just come here tomorrow we will celebrate the new year together’

‘okay momma’

She cuts the call.

‘someone has achieved a Ph.D. in lying’

‘anything for him’, I smiled

‘now after everything is fine, let's do something to celebrate New year’

‘Like what?’

‘Let's go to a live concert, all four of us’

I may be introverted, but when it comes to music and concert, nobody can beat me on having fun and dance.

Without any doubt, I was ready for that while going to tell Mandy my older brother and Mausuf my younger brother Sobi notices my new shoe.

‘wherein the hell you got this, it’s so beautiful’

‘My heel broke in the middle so Asif gifted me these’

‘how romantic, I am jealous of you now’.

Mandi and Mausuf agreed to our plan. We wore our best outfit and went there. I wanted Asif to be there, I wanted to dance with him have fun with him and at last shout happy new year at 12 with him.

‘It’s okay you have spent the whole day fulfilling your bucket list, don’t demand more’, my heart was telling me, but my mind was still stubborn, ‘he is going to Canada, restrain yourself from falling more for him.’

My favorite band Go5, was there singing my favorite song running.

What else did I need, letting my heart and mind fight I went in the middle of the crowd, where some were dancing and some were just clapping. I closed my eyes leaving back all my anxiety and danced freeing my arms with the rhythm. Meanwhile, someone poked me from behind, it was Yosuf.

‘What are you doing here’, I said in surprise

‘I live here, I should be the one to ask you that’

‘I am here with my cousins’

‘I didn’t know inside this innocent face there is wildness overloaded’

‘yeah, I like to dance and at top of that this is my favorite song’

Sobi, Mandy and Mausuf also came along us including Yosuf in the group begun to enjoy the rhythm. Before it was 11 we went to our house, biding Yosuf goodbye.

When I reached home, first of all, I messaged Asif, as I was missing him so much despite being with him just 3 hours ago.

‘Have you had your dinner yet’, I said with a smile on my face

No reply came from him despite of message being seen

‘Are you okay?’ I said again

‘yes, I am I was looking at Yosuf post, so you were with him all this time’

I went to Yosuf's timeline immediately he had uploaded our pic and video on which we were dancing.

I was in dilemma, I was with Asif the whole day and he thought I am with Yosuf then. ‘What he must be thinking of me’

I called Yosuf and asked him to delete the video.

‘You look so cheerful in it’, he said

‘I am not comfortable with people seeing me dance, I just enjoy the moment, you would have asked me before uploading, you can keep the pic but please delete the video’

‘I am sorry, don’t be angry with me, okay’

he cut the call then, Asif was waiting for me to reply

‘He happened to be there at a live concert where me and my cousin went to celebrate eve’

‘You looked so happy and cheerful in the video. It looked as if Yosuf and you were meant to be together, he makes you laugh’

That’s it, he shattered everything we had on those two days with his word. A cold feeling covered my heart. Was there nothing between us when we were in that rounding swing, and in that resturo was all that just nothing.

I didn’t know what to reply, I was angry and hurt

‘Do you think, I and Yosuf are made for each other’, even writing those words were trembling my hands.

‘It’s just you were looking so happy’

‘I was happy because I love dancing at a live concert that is the only time when extrovert inside me comes out, you told me you and Asma were same as me and Yosuf that means you think Asma was made for you’

‘I was just giving my perspective, okay I am sorry’

I was just hurt by his words, I overcome my pain and talked with him as everything was okay.

‘I had a great time today’, he said

‘it was same for me’

The clock was about to hit 12. I wanted to wish new year to him at first despite being angry.

When the clock hit 12, I got a long text from him,

‘HAPPY NEW YEAR to the most beautiful girl I have ever met, you have the purest soul of all, and I always wish you to be happy. You deserve all the happiness, and I want God to let us be together cause I want to see you happy all the time. You are tiger hearted girl always be like that’

‘How can he manage to hurt me and heal me in a second is it me or him,’ I said to myself.

I was happy very happy, it was the best new year's wish ever.

It was my turn to wish now, I was confused what to write, I wanted to write something that won’t hurt my ego and sound desperate but can bring a smile on his face just like mine.

‘My new year's wish for you is that you get good marks in all subjects so you won’t have to go to Canada. It’s selfish but I don’t want you to go. HAPPY NEW YEAR to the most overrated guy in our uni’

I was smiling while writing those words, As a new year wish I wanted to write him how much I love him but the thing that was happening to us was so satisfying that I didn’t want to rush and at top of that I wasn’t sure about his feeling too.

I went home the next day. I have traveled many times from my home to Bhaktapur and Bhaktapur to home, but this time it was different moving from Bhaktapur was like going far from him. The more toward home I get the more restlessness I felt.

After dinner that day, as usual, I texted Asif,

‘Where are you now?’, said he

‘Guess?’

‘Kathmandu?’

‘How did you know?’

‘Force of attraction = (Mass of Kusum * Mass of Asif * G)/(distance of separation between Kusum and Asif)^2 ’

‘What??’

‘According to the equation, I feel more attracted to you when our distance of separation is less that means when you are at Bhaktapur, but when you go far away I feel less and less attracted, so I knew you were at home now’

He applied physics in that too, I began to imagine our love life kissing theoretically making an equation to know from which angle it will be more romantic. I remembered the relation between Sheldon and Amy in the big bang theory, but was our relation being like that. NO, that wasn’t a thing I wanted.

After I didn’t replied him for a minutes

‘Hey, didn’t you get the joke’

Okay then it was a joke, I felt relieved. How stupid of me to think un-necessary stuffs.

‘I did, I was laughing so can’t reply to your text’, I lied.

Still 2 weeks to collage, 2weeks without him. I was just waiting for the college to open again, Maybe until next semester exam vacation we could be something more, more like lovers who don’t need courage to ask for a date. I pulled out my diary, where I used to enter my daily activities but I hadn’t written anything since I went to Bhaktapur, and there were many things to write down. Writing about that day fair and our date refreshed all my memory of him, I was smiling constantly, and at last it was time for a wish to ask god, I always used to do that on the new year, and order the dairy to grant it within the year, In Nepal we worship book as lord Saraswati so asking diary to grant my wishes wasn’t psychotic.

‘Dairy Please grant me my following wishes

* I wish to secure the highest position in the exam so that I could get a scholarship, my father cannot afford my fees.

* I wish Asif will pass in every subject

* I wish Asif and I could be more than a friend, and we could get closure and closure day by day.

* I wish Yosuf get a girlfriend too’

* I wish nobody will get hurt because of me.

That’s all, and I promise you I will write everything that happens in my life to you, because you are the only one with whom I can share and ask for anything’

I was emotionally attached to my dairy, It was first gifted to me by Kareem on my 10th birthday and

since then she always used to give me one on my every birthday the same cover of a lonely girl, same design, and same feeling. There were more than 9 diaries on my shelf, and when I used to feel very low, I just used to read them.

Days then weeks went by, Uni started. New semester new classes but this time we weren’t new, nervousness wasn’t overwhelming and hopelessness wasn’t the option. Upisa, Mahma, Angi, Subu and Nimi came to me, We were together after so many days, it was just 1 more semester with them. They were the one due to whom my adaption at the uni got easier. I owed all of them mainly Mahma and Upisa. But I couldn’t share about Asif with any of them, I just wasn’t comfortable.

I was looking forward to the new feelings that were going on with me and Asif. We went to the new class, slightly bigger than the previous one. Most of the classmates were absent as it was the first-day but Asif was also not there till then. After a lecture went by in introduction I called him, and thankfully he picked the call

‘Why aren’t you here till now?’

‘I got into an accident this morning, sprained my leg, don't think I can come there this week’

Horror.

His leg was sprained, but I was in agony. I was so looking forward to meet him, and all were futile.

‘What happened?’

‘I fall from the bike’

I was just numb, not knowing what to say,

‘Take care of yourself’

My whole mood was ruined for the day, maybe for the week until he comes there. I can’t say how I spend that week, it felt as if some part of me was missing, Yeah, Upisa, Mahma, Yosuf were there but still I was missing, the real me was missing.

It was Friday, like usual I went to uni with Yosuf hearing him prattle whole way. I went to the class, and to my surprise there was Asif, looking at me in his leg. I was overjoyed with his presence, my heart was saying me to jump, and give him a tight hug, but we weren’t on that phase till then. I went to him

‘How are you?, you should had said me you are coming today’

‘if I had told you, I couldn’t have seen your surprised face’

‘You got me’

I was satisfied he was there, I felt complete. But ruining the mood someone from behind notified us that result was going to be announced that day.

A sudden cold went through my veins. I stood there numb, Asif was looking at me

‘why today?’ he exclaimed

Everyone was in horror including me. After two lectures, someone said the result was already announced online. We hurried to the site.

We all AP group gathered ‘Girl first,’ they said

so I went for my symbol number and see the result

I got a 3.7 GPA. Everyone in the group cheered up,

‘okay that was fine’, I said to myself but more than excitement I was worried for Asif

After mine Udaya gave me the symbol num, he had dropped physics exam so that mark was not going to be counted but his GPA was 3.6 excluding physics.

We all were in shock, it meant he got A in all subjects. Nobody even imagined he could be so talented because he was always calm and was the least interactive student in class. If only he had attempted physics exam, I said to myself.

Before anyone could say their symbol I hurriedly typed Asif’s. I was afraid to see his results, I gave mob to Udaya and closed my eyes. I was praying inside but outside everyone was silent. Does that mean it is bad news? I was in a dilemma.

‘Why everyone is quiet?’ I said my eyes still closed.

But no-one said a word. My heart almost stopped, I slowly opened my eyes. Asif was on his knees covering his face with his hands. All were looking sad, I got my answer.