One Sided Love

chap 9

ALEX

It's almost a year. A f*****g year when I lost my wife. she should be here celebrating her daughter birthday but destiny has other f*****g plans for us and there was Kate... f**k last time I make out with her, I still can taste her. Her pale skin and those pink n*****s damnnn she was f*****g hot lieing there.

I tried to ignore her afterward but today she looks exceptionally beautiful with her pink floral dress and those curly long black hair gives me feelings which I don't want to have.

No doubt kate is breathtakingly beautiful. Anyone can be attractive to ehr but I'm not anyone. I'm her sister's husband.And no matter how attractive I find Kate I can't feel one percentage of what I felt for emily. God I miss her so bad. I love her so much that everywhere I can see her smell her.

With my mixed and confused feelings I start getting drunk. Then I felt someone was knocking on my door... who the hell it can be.

When I opened my bedroom door it was Kate standing there.... I was speechless for a moment I thought i'm dreaming but when she talked I came back to my senses

Kate said ' Alex ...I just dropped emma and put her in bed ...your mother told me that I should also check on you . (She looks hesitant and a little tense) hmmmm you should call her. I think I should go’

She was not looking at me and seems to be very nervous around me and why wont she because I always say shitty things to her without thinking and she said she drop Emma, f**k what kind of father I’m how can I forget about my daughter who is the only thing that keeping me alive.

I try to be a little kind here so I said ' I am just a little tired, come inside I was just drinking .'

she doesn't move and looks back and say ' I think I should go, you must be tired and I’m too so bye'

I held her hand and said ' I told you to stay ... I know you hate me but please I need some company'....

Her eyes got soft again ' Alex I never hated you how can you think something about this... I just don't want to upset you more '

Upset! my whole life is upset pretty girl and you're not the reason' I laughed sadly

'i'm sorry you felt this way but you have to move on for emma sake and you have to find your happiness in your life ' she said to me while sitting with me.

I huff ' f**k my happiness ... I don't know how to do this and I feel so much anger towards everyone that I can't control myself ' I say to her.

She touched my hand as a friendly gesture but damn her floral scent is driving me crazy. I hold her waist and watch her like a hawk. Damn her mouth is the most perfect thing I have ever seen.

Kate was still consoling me but I wasn't listening because my thoughts went to another lane.

I don't know what happened but I can't control myself. I brought my mouth close to her and kissed her. She was surprised by my action and I want to see her more and next thing I put my hands on her waist

She pushed me and give me a look of horror

She said breathing heavily ' Alex you're drunk ... you will regret this ..and I don't want things become strong between us'

Looking at her in her lacy dress all my moral teaching went to the open windows of my room. I know that moment that I have to f**k her and take her out of my system other wise I will not survive

I replied ' look if you don't want then I won't touch you but I know you want me and I can feel it... and I'm so depressed all this time I need something to forget about ..so plz give me yourself to me for one night please..

She stare at me for long then say 'if I can make you forget about your pain then im all yours' she said with teary eyes'

And like an animal, I start attacking her. She tries to touch me but I hold her hands because I know it's too much. If she touches me I will lose control. I was undressed by the time I started preparing myself. When she looked me down she yelped a little.

I tried to relax her and wanted to make her feel good.

After that, I touched her and her whole body flinched with my single touch. I told her to relax . .When I knew she was ready... when I climbed towards her body her pale skin was pink and damn her face was glowing ... I know I can't control myself so I lose myself in her hard and fast.

But it screamed to stop me for a moment but for a moment only because my drunken mind was saying not to stop.

I told her 'kate just relax ok! You are so damn tight baby.. let me get inside you more... how long it is for you'

But I didn't let her answer that because with one trust I was inside of her ... it was total heaven... but what shocked me most were her cries in the barrier that I felt.... I stop and looked her tear covered face In shocked that she was f*****g virgin .

I asked in surpreised and yelled ' why the fuck.... you never told me you were virgin .... I could have seriously hurt you'

A virgin I never had before. Even Emily got little expreciend. I was now seriously thinking of stopping it before going any further. But she looks so irresistible and knowing I'm her first, it boosted my ego. Seriously, I'm a f****d up asshole.

She tried to respond but I told her that it doesn't matter because seriously at this point I can't even control myself so I try to make it better for her. I loved her slowly t ... at some point .

It was electrifying. Kt was iut of the world and in the end of our passion. I closed my eyes. Not ready to face the unspeakable.