One Sided Love

chap 10

KATE 

I woke up when I felt lights coming from the open curtains. At first I was  confused where the hell I was because this is not my apartment. when I tried  to move my whole body was sore and then I realized I was with Alex.... shit... 

I  remember our night very clearly right now and I'm so scared of how I'm going to  face him....when I looked at him he was sleeping so peacefully and my heart burst with love  when he said he just needed me so much and was attracted to me. 

I don't know  how long I keep looking at him but I decided to move from the bed but Alex  was suddenly awake by my movement n he looked so confused when he saw  me naked with him , but then his expression change as he remember  everything 

He grabbed his hair ‘ Wtf! Kate .... what the hell did you do this.... f**k (he stand and start  moving left and right in his room).... f*****g tell me why the hell you  didn't stop me. 

I was shell shocked what the hell he is talking about ‘ Alex listen to me for a moment. I told you last night that you will regret this. You were druni i tried to stop you , I didn't do anything  we both did with our mutual consent .. 

He stop me and said: just shut up .... you f*****g know I was drunk and try to seduced me with your pretty dress so dont play innocent you  should have stop me but you seduced me ..... (he stop like something clicks him) It was deliberately done by you didn't it ...you were always attracted to me  ... n you were jealous that what Emily have you should always had that  so try to make a move on me 

His words were cutting me. He is right, it's on me. How can I be so damn foolish...like he will trust me. Because my bloody past and my mother profession always put me in dismal and in balme. 

I can feel myself shaking but knowing i need to get out  but wanted to say my peace

‘ now alex you're just being cruel to me... I try to stop you .. I told  you things will become strange between us but when you said you need  me for one night I can't say no to you. ‘ 

Alex 

When I looked at Kate crying heavily in defending her. Her exposed body  made me turn on so much ..that I became angry with myself that how can I be  turned on by this so I take my anger on her.

I said in disgust’  you know what! our one night is over so better get lost from  here. And dnt put all blame on me you’r more responsible here.....  look at this room .... this was emily’s  room and this bed were we have  s*x last night was where emily and me used to have passionate nights not  like our ones ... so are  you ready to face the shame what you did with your  dead sister who always supported you and loved you more than your own  father....Now I think everyone was so right you’r just like your mother a  f*****g w***e who trap rich people...... so help me god and get the hell out  of here ' 

I know what I said was so mean and cruel but I can't stop myself. I was feeling so  guilty about what I did and I took my anger out on her.... I looked her and in front of me I saw  a broken completely shaken women, who just can't say anything 

Kate slowly moved without making eye contact, picked her clothes and went to the washroom. She came back after a minute looking so miserable that I felt I  should go give her a hug and apologize but I knew I wouldn't do that ... I can't...  may be she is like that what everyone says 

She was limping and I realized then I was her first maybe that was too much for  her. She stop in mid way and I said something which I shouldn't but I have to  make her understand that i'm not at all interested at her

I glared at her : Don't you dare to tell anyone about this... unlike you I have some  f*****g respect in the society. And I don't want you to flaunt our little  nasty mistake to everyone' 

When she turned and looked at me with her lifeless eyes that were filled with  tears 

She looked dead: Don't worry ... I won't ... sa..say a word but please... Alex...next time never like never bring my mother in our problem. And call me anything but not to my mother. You have no idea (she whipped her tears) Like no idea what was life before and after her.

And just like that she was gone.