One Sided Love

chap 15

Alex  

Fuck! There is seriously something wrong with me. I can't control my lust and anger whenever I'm with Kate. She brings out the best and worst in me but still if something happens to Kate by the actions I would have never forgiven myself. She looked so scared of me like I'm going to kill her baby... damn those feelings are killing me. Shawn enters the room n looked a little disturbed and said  ' What happen to kate she is not looking good maybe you should...'  but when he looked into my face and realized I'm the one who upset kate  He said ' man! What the hell is wrong with you if you hate her so much then don't marry her... but f*****g realized that she is pregnant with your child whom you are clearly abandoning before the birth.... you're such a  bastard'  I looked to him ' Shawn don't f*****g start I know what im doing and your my lawyer so f*****g support me'  He said ' I wish I wasn't your lawyer.... the f****d up thing do in a prenup is beyond unacceptable and how can you f*****g disown your unborn child .... what's the baby fault dude.... for god sake looked at  your actions and think what are you doing to this child'  I quietly replied ' I don't want this baby ... I never wanted this ... Emma is my only child she deserves everything .... Emily was my world n I lost her and my unborn child with her but  Emma is the only thing left of Emily I will never f*****g share myself with other babies.... she is my priority, not that baby '  I know I'm acting as a cruel bastard but the truth is I can’t lose Emma.  Shawn looked disgusted with me and said that it's time to look after the marriage thing. When I entered the office I looked at Kate's father and was there and having a word with kate. Well honestly it was looking like he was accusing Kate again about something the way Kate was listening with a broken expression,  at that  moment I felt to go and defend her but I stop myself and think it's not a moment ...  when I was closer to then I heard kate father's saying  'good riddance' ' w***e of a mother' ' a disappointment ' .... by looking at  Kate I can imagine that it was truly killing her... never understand why can't he accept Kate as his own daughter and then I thought this is exactly what I was doing with my unborn baby.  The next hour was a blur. We got married, signed some documents,  kate father's hug me and completely ignored her, my mother telling kate to eat something then kate and I  were sitting in the car and going to f*****g home sweet home.  Kate  I was so tired of today happening that I felt sick. After my incident with Alex, I tried to keep quiet in the car and looked outside the window. Alex was also  tense but I don't know about what now, so I didn't bother him When we reached home I stood awkwardly in the lounge with no idea in which room we were going to stay. Alex went to the cabinet and made a drink for himself and kept looking at me very strangely, I don't for how long.   He came closer to me then slightly ran a finger in my  cheeks but then he looked behind me and his expression changed and he  became again a heartless angry man ... when I looked behind what he saw that  made him so angry ... it was the large picture of Emily and Alex wedding day  displayed in the sitting area  he said  ' your room is ready it is two-door next to emmas .. go and have rest ... our house help Martha will do the unpacking of your stuff tomorrow'  I was a little confused. He said my room does mean he will still stay in his old room, not with me. Sometimes I really want to laugh at my thoughts about why he would want to share a room with me. I'm just an unwanted wife, a  disappointment like my father said. Alex said ' don't stand here like that, look Kate today my emotions are  everywhere so plz don't test my patience '  And that's how I moved to my new room, without my husband, and started my new journey.