One Sided Love

chap 16

Kate 

I can't sleep the whole night. My demons were wide awake and telling me what a big mistake I made marrying Alex. I have been alone most of my life even if I'm surrounded by people. But tonight my loneliness was killing me. I want Alex to be with me. I know we don't have a conversational marriage but still, the feeling of rejection never sets in well with me. 

 I try to block my thoughts but my demonic mind has another plan. My head was buzzing even though I put the pillow on my head to stop those thoughts which are making me insane. I was second-guessing myself, Alex will never accept me as his wife nor love our unborn child.

I was getting antsy about how to make sure that my child never went through the bad fate I have been through.

Then there was a doubt that was lingering on, what if Alex fed up with me and took Emma away from me. The bigger reason I got married to him was Emma. Emma is too small and she needs a mother and because of her, my mother instinct was alive. 

The next day I woke around 7:00 am, with a horrible headache and last night thoughts and nightmares added their own charm.

I slowly made my way to the kitchen. The whole house was dead quiet like no one lives here. The coldness I felt made her shiver. Before me, Emily's presence makes this a warm loving home with laughter and love.

I was getting emotional. I looked at Emily's big portrait display in the living room and vow to my sister that I will try to bring back the happiness of this house. I will not only be a good mother to Emma but also make sure to be a supportive wife for Alex too. Even if he disregards me, I  will win his heart.

With this new determination, I started the day and went to the kitchen to cook an amazing breakfast for them. Since I have no idea what Alex likes in his breakfast but I know the basic breakfast-pancakes, omelet, and coffee can never go wrong.

I quickly make myself busy. After less than an hour Emma was crying in the next room. I went to her room, picked her up, and brought her back to my room. She looked confused. Why was I here? 

Anyway I hold Emma and start calming her after putting her in bed I just quickly take a shower and put on a navy blue dress and apply some liner n gloss ... till that time Emma was fully awake She said... 'aunty Katie ... Emma want foody' 

I laughed and said ' my baby wants food. You know what I made your favorite pan cake' 

I went to the kitchen put the coffee in the machine and start putting pancakes on Emma plate  while  was sitting in her child high chair 

Alex was still sleeping, maybe he was very tired. I was putting the last batch  of pancake batter when I heard Alex footsteps in the kitchen 

I shyly said ' good morning ... I made some pancakes... I hope you like  that ..but I can make something else' 

He looked different to me 'I normally have eggs  but pancakes are fine too.' 

I was about to say I made an omelet too but he didn't give me a chance to say as he turned his back to me and picked Emma to kiss her on her forehead and came to me. I thought he was going to kiss me the way he was bending but then he stopped and looked shocked but he was doing... then I realized that he actually thought I was  Emily. I hurt not only for me but for Alex too.

He moved quickly pour some coffee and start eating pancakes

I put the omelet plate ignorant of him ‘I made omelet too. if you can tell me what you like in the breakfast I will try to make it tomorrow’

He looks up with his aloof expression ‘thanks but no need the house help Martha usually cook the meals she is on leaves for a couple of days but cook anything you want

I was hurt by his indifference towards me. But I calm myself baby step kate baby step.

I quietly sat and helped Emma to eat her pancakes.

He looked and said ' you're not eating? ... have some coffee' 

I said 'I have one pancake but  I can't have coffee until it is decaf and I'm really not hungry ... I  feel a little nauseated at this time 

He looked a little annoyed but nodded to me. 

After breakfast, I didn't know what to do. So I decided to do some dishwashing then I will write a resignation letter in the mail to NYPH, as it is one of the demands of Alex to leave my job and become a housewife. 

Alex 

All night I can't sleep, images of kate flashes in my eyes whenever I close, all  the yesterday event of a prenuptial agreement, kate expression when she  discovers her unborn baby is not considered Robbins heir, her scared  expression when I push her, her father harsh words, they way she was  looking when I told her that she is not sharing a room with me and damn my  incredible lust for her when she was looking so f*****g beautiful in her white  peach dress, all I wanted to do was drag her and f*****g undress her so that I can get lost in  her body, but then I looked at Emily and my wedding portrait, I winced like im betraying  her again but damn today in the morning she was looking so innocently so  stunning in her blue summer dress, she was looking like a proper house wife  a man can desire, thats why my feet cant stop themself and went to kiss her but then I stop when I realized what I  was doing, I was so turned on that I know I have to move quickly otherwise she  will know

Now I was thinking I can't forever avoid kate charm now I have a  taste of her and I have a right to her I can have s*x with her as a normal couple has but there will be limitations to make this only a physical need satisfaction and she doesn't get any other idea because still I loved Emily and I cant give my heart to someone else.

I was walking towards Kate's room but she was in the bathroom sitting on the floor of the flush and was throwing up.

 straight went to her n help her stand

I said ' kate .. fuck.. are you ok .... you look awfully pale... should I call the doctor. 

She weakly smiled and said ' No I'm okay ... it's morning sickness I have in  this time... don't worry I will lie down on the bed and have some crackers and tea  then I will be good' 

I replied ' ok... I will get you something' 

I went to the kitchen and made her some tea and thought it's not the right time to tell her, maybe some other day.

I remember Emily never faced this kind of morning sickness nor she was so pale and weak even her appetite was also increased then why Kate was facing that. Was she acting?

But the moment that thought came I felt ashamed of doubting her. Surely she doesn't look well she can fake it.

When I went to her room she was looking a little better and was working on her laptop. If she is ill then why is she working, I tell myself don't doubt her.

I  gave her tea and crackers and she smiled and gave me a grateful look ... which made me feel like s**t cause it was nothing I was doing and she felt so grateful about it. her eyes shine with gratitude and with a big smile she said thanks. 

I went to my office and then kept working there. 

I then heard Emma's loud cries. When I looked  Emma was in the lounge and she hit her head on the table. I quickly picked her up. I tried to  calm her and kissed her’ Hey sweetheart it's the ok baby you are fine 

Did I look to kate's rooms where the hell she is?

I wiped Emma's tears and thought to put her in bed first then I will talk with Kate about her negligence on her first day. 

After putting in her bed I went to Kate's room where she was talking to someone and laughing about something. I became so angry that how dare she leave my child and laugh at the phone. 

Then I saw her laptop and some files of NYMPH in bed. Oh, she is still working there after I told her that she no longer will work there. I yelled her name 'KATE!' 

She turned back and looked confused by my behavior.