Desires

Chapter 6

I was abruptly woken by being shaken. When my sight finally settled, I saw Liam sitting over me with a concerned look on his face.

“Jenna. You were screaming. You must have been having a bad dream again. I’ll go make you some tea.”

With that he got up off the couch, which I was still on from the movie night, and made his way to the kitchen. I could hear some clanking from the cups and him humming to himself. I just laid there, listening to the sound of him humming. I suddenly hear him enter the living room again.

“Sit up Jenna.”

The tea smelt so good. I feel like I haven’t eaten in a few days.

“Liam… You said I was having a bad dream again…. Uh- How long have –erm- I been here? I mean on the couch?”

He sighed. “About two days. You’ve been in and out of sleep. I figured this was your body’s was to recover a little. I’m glad you woke up though. Shain’s funeral is later today around one.”

“What time is it now?” I shot up on the couch and stared at him for a moment. He looked so concerned for me. I mean, he looked like Michael did before he left.

“Right now, it’s 11 in the morning. You have time to get ready. I’ll be here for you every step of the way Jenna. I promise.”

I just nodded and showed a weak smile. I took a few sips of tea. I couldn’t help but think that there was nothing I wanted more than to be held by Michael. I wanted to hear the chuckle after I said something that didn’t make sense. I wanted him to say ‘I love you’ in that cute accent.

I was brought back to reality from Liam grabbing hold of my waist. He must have noticed that I wasn’t looking forward to Shain’s funeral this afternoon. I took in a deep breath and pulled Liam’s hands off of me. I walked down hall way to get to the room I was supposed to be staying in. I grabbed something nice and laid it out on the bed. I quickly walked over to the bathroom so I could get a shower.

I don’t even remember getting in the shower. I just remember Liam pounding on the bathroom door screaming my name.

“Jenna! Jenna! Are you okay? You’ve been in there for almost an hour! We have to leave soon.”

I jumped. He startled me a little bit. I took a deep breath in and let it out slowly.

“I’ll be out in a few minutes. Sorry Liam!” I sighed again. I quickly finished my shower and wrapped myself in a large, fluffy bath towel. Without thinking, I left the bathroom and walked to the spare bedroom. When I turned to corner, I could feel Liam’s eyes looking me over.

“Look all you want. This is as close to naked as you’ll ever see me.”

I looked at him and saw his jaw drop. I could never catch Liam off guard! With that I shut the door behind me and got ready.

---

Liam and I pulled up in his truck. We walked into the funeral home, his arm was round my waist. I could feel myself stiffen up as I heard my name being called through sobs. I turned around to see Bev making her way towards me, tissues in both hands. She looked like a hopeless wreck. Shain was her complete world.

“JENNA! I’m so glad you came! When Officer Woods told me that Shain held you hostage in your own flat, well, I just thought that you wouldn’t come or wouldn’t ever speak to me again. I’m so sorry for being so harsh before! I was just in shock! I really hope that you understand...”

I pulled Bev into a big hug. I knew that she was really hurting right now. I feel like I’m somewhat responsible for Shain’s death. Liam kept reassuring me that it wasn’t my fault. He said that there was something wrong with him if he thought that taking someone he ‘loved’ hostage was the best way to resolve things between us.

Bev gave me a quick kiss on the cheek and ran over to Shain’s grandmother. They both began to break down into sobs. Bev kept pointing in my direction. I assume she was telling everyone what happened. I blushed and turned to Liam.

“Liam. I really don’t think that I can do this. This is going to be a lot harder than I thought.” I sighed and put my head down.

“Jenna, you have to remember that this isn’t you fault. Things like this happen. We’ll go do something fun afterwards okay? But I know that if you leave now, you’re going to be mad at yourself later on. I’m not leaving you. I’ll be here through the whole thing. I promise.”

Liam had a big smile plastered on his face. I knew he meant every single word. He was here for me.

“Let’s get you a glass of water. The service is about to start.”

I smiled weakly and we walked over to the water cooler. I took a deep breath in and took a few sips of water. There were seats behind Bev and Shain’s grandmother. I made sure to snag them so that I could be some kind of support to Bev during this whole thing.

Music from the piano began to play a sad song and the preacher stood and began to perform the service. I must have zoned out for a few moments. The next thing I remember, the preacher asked if anyone would like to say a few words. I looked at Liam and slowly stood up. I made my way over to the podium and sighed. Tears began to stream down my face as I looked at Bev. She looked completely helpless and sad. I took another deep breath in and began to speak.

“Most of you don’t know me. Shain and I actually dated a few years back. He had a smile that could light up an entire room. His laugh was completely contagious. But I’m sure you all knew that. I could stand here all day and talk about him. I could sit around and cry for his loss or I could stand here and celebrate the life he was lucky enough to have and live every day. Shain has an amazing mom, who I know is having a difficult time right now. I can tell you what though Bev, Shain would hate to see you this upset. He wouldn’t want any of us crying for his loss. He would want us celebrating the life he had.”

I slowly began to move back to my seat. The room was silent. Just then a roar of applause broke out. Bev ran up to meet me and wrapped me in a huge hug. I walked her back over to her seat and the preacher began talking again.

---

After the funeral, Liam took me by the hand and led me back to the car. I had tears streaming down my face. Liam opened the car door for me and handed me a tissue from his pocket. He’s been keeping them there for me throughout the whole thing.

“Jenna, I was thinking, do you still want to go do something fun?” Liam smiled at me.

“I mean not really… But I guess it’s better than sitting at home, right?” I sighed and looked up at Liam.

With that, Liam shut my door and ran over to the driver’s side. He started the car and we pulled up to his flat.

“Go change and get ready. We’re going to a party!” Liam smiled.