Desires

Chapter 7

I wasn’t the kind of girl you would typically find at a party. I’m not the kind of girl who sleeps around or socializes much at all. I have those few close friends that I am constantly texting and hanging out with, but I don’t like talking to strangers. I’m not fond of drinking. So, the typical house party is the last thing I would want to be doing. I would rather spend my days at home reading or writing.

I also didn’t really like the music that was played at typical parities. I would rather listen to alternative or country or rock. You know, music that wasn’t ‘cool’ or ‘in the loop.’ I can listen to rap, but it’s not my first choice. There is just something about them always talking about s*x and drugs that wasn’t appealing to me. I suppose it isn’t for everyone.

“Jenna, are you sure you’re okay with going to this party? There’s going to be a lot of drinking. You know that Charlie and Kai can get kind of crazy and out of control.” Liam asked me and brought me back to reality.

I didn’t want to hurt his feelings. I knew that his friends, Charlie and Kai, were throwing the party. I knew that he wanted to go but didn’t want to leave me at home by myself. Especially after the week I’ve had. They’ve been planning this party for a few weeks and I didn’t want Liam to miss it.

“I’ll be alright. Maybe I’ll find a nice little corner to read in.” I nodded to my little black back pack.

“You’re the only girl I know that brings a book to a house party, Jenna.” He smiled widely at me. I don’t know why, but I got the butterflies from his look. Could I be falling for Liam? I smiled then quickly shook my head and looked at the ground. I can’t forget about Michael, I say to myself.

With that, Liam got out of the car, ran to my side of the car and opened the door for me. When I got out of the car, he quickly grabbed my hand and escorted me in.

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I think I’ve had at least 15 shots in the last 2 hours. I don’t even remember my first one. In fact, I don’t even remember walking in. Kai has his ways of convincing a girl to drink more than she could handle. Charlie knows how to mock you just the right way to make you want to out drink him. I looked over at Liam, who was across the room getting me some water. He just winked at me. I just waved back. Just then I felt a tap on my shoulder

“Having fun tonight Jenna? I’m surprised that you haven’t puked yet! You drank a lot!” It was Kai. He was quite a hilarious drunk.

“As a matter of fact, I am. Is that weird? I never thought I’d be the kind of girl that can handle her drinks!” I giggled, probably more obnoxious that I should have. But I had no control over anything right now.

“Liam really digs you Jenna. Like he really, really likes you.” He smiled.

“But… Michael…” I sighed. This was getting more difficult than it should have.

Just then Liam, Kai and Charlie started screaming. “JENNA HAS TO TAKE A SHOT!!! SHE SAID THE MAGIC WORD!”

See they play this game at parties where they pick a word out of a hat and whoever says it has to take a shot. And I mean whoever. I remember Liam telling me about the time that him and Charlie were playing it for the first time and Charlie’s mom said their “magic word’ and they made her do a shot.

“FINE!” I yelled over the loud roars of the crowd. Kai handed me a shot and I quickly took it down. The burn the whole way down reminded me that the reality that Shain’s funeral will still be there in the morning. No matter how much I drank, I couldn’t get the thought of the gun against my head out of my mind. That’s something that was going to haunt me forever.

Once I finished my shot, I felt my phone start to ring. I looked at the name and gasp. It was restricted, which meant it was Michael! I quickly ran outside, well tried to. I kept stumbling. I literally haven’t moved since we got here and with all I drank I figured that was normal. I could hear Kai and Liam laughing at my fall, but I continued to run to the front door. I made my way outside.

“MICHAEL!” I screamed, probably louder than I should have.

“Jenna! What the hell are you doing? I heard music and I heard you fall. What the hell is going on?!” Michael was screaming. I must have answered the phone by accident when I fell.

“Michael… Chill. I just had a few… Besides, I’m here with Charlie, Kai and Liam. You know they wouldn’t let anything happen to me.” I sighed. I could hear my words slurring. There was no lying to him. I could feel the stares from Liam who was on the front porch.

“You’re drinking? UNDERAGE?! At a raging house party with people you don’t know?” I could hear the rage in his voice. I closed my eyes and I could see his face getting all read and those baby blue eyes turning dark. Just like that day at the theatre.

“I know Liam, Kai and Charlie. Why are you so upset about this?” I sounded kind of harsh.

“Well you obviously don’t miss me too much. Maybe I should just stay here. Enjoy your time with your new group I guess.” With that he hung up. The call was restricted, just like management had said it would be, so I couldn’t even call him back and explain.

“I-Michael- Just let me explain…” I whispered into the phone. All I heard was a dial tone.

I collapsed. I could feel myself heaving heavy sobs. I took my phone and threw it. I could hear it hit something, which made me cry even harder. The tears never stopped. I could hear the music from the party raging. Everyone was still having a good time, while I was sitting here crying from my conversation with Michael. I could feel a pair of strong arms warp themselves around me. For the second time today, I felt safe. Like I belonged.

“Let’s head home Jenna. You’ve had a pretty rough day.” Liam whispered into my ear. He stood up and held out a hand to me.

I looked up and smiled at Liam. He pulled me too my feet and then I threw up. All over him. I soon blacked out.