I Love My Husband But....

Chapter 19

* I was so happy when I got home. I had my friend back and I could go out without having to avoid him. I made a promise never to cheat on my husband and also never to ruin our friendship. This time I would also take his friendship seriously.

 I sing as I cook like I always do but I am extra happy, because, I have my friend back. It's been so long since I've had a guy friend and besides this one slip up. I've only ever made the mistake of sleeping with a friend one other time and it turned out bad for me.

 We were both drunk and I remember being in so much pain the next day. He wanted something more with me but I kept ditching him, because I was afraid of his monster. He's the reason I don't like big 'Jimmies'. At first I told him that we couldn't date because we were friends, but then I told him the truth. He laughed and told me that I was weird. I was just happy that we could continue being friends, and we were great friends, until I met my husband. 

I haven't talk to any of my friends since I've been with my husband. He didn't like the idea of me having male friends and I didn't want him to have any doubts of my love, because my sons dad would get jealous over anything. Even if someone would ask me for directions and he was right there. 

We would get home and he would just beat me out of no where, I didn't even have to speak to the person . I had to look down wherever we went, and when his friends would visit us I had to stay in our room. Once he told me to help his cousin then he later beat me. I was never alone with his cousin and his cousins girlfriend of the time was there so I have no idea why he did it. Actually I never knew why he did it. We would be smiling and having fun then he would just turn into a monster. 

Of course he was always sorry and apologetic afterwards, and I believed him when he said he'd never do it again. The bad thing about it is he would hug me as I cried even when I wanted to be left alone. Can you believe that I dated him twice. The second time I dated him I got pregnant with my handsome son. I will say that he never hit me again after I got back with him. I just wasn't feeling it, I didn't love him the same that I once did, so I broke it off again. 

Enough about the past back to the future. Me and Luci were getting down and Xane and his friend had just come back inside to see if the food was ready. "Almost," "Maybe by the time you guys run around the house a few times it will be ready" "Why don't you go run with them,?" "Show them, you still got it," Actually, I don't know if he's a fast runner. I've never really seen him run before, unless it was after one of our children and they were little. 

"So you want me to run around, after I just worked my ass off all day,?" he asks angrily. "Sorry grandpa," I say as I shoo the boys out. They laugh at my comment and hurry out the backdoor. I sent them out because I don't like arguing in front of children especially guests. 

"I didn't ask you to work there Alex, as a matter of fact, I've tried for years to get you to quit" I say in a calm tone. "I also told you that they'd replace you, as quickly as they hired you, if you get hurt" 

"Well how are we going to pay the bills, if I don't work,?" "I told you, I will work and you keep the kids and we can both upkeep the house," He doesn't want anyone to keep our daughter because he doesn't trust daycare workers. He used to think that I was joking about me working and him staying home, but when he saw that I was serious he stopped complaining. 

Even if he doesn't want to be at home with the children, I never understood why he wouldn't let me help him to find another job. I explained that he could work less and earn more but he never asked me to. I got tired of reminding him that when he gets home, he's off for the day but I keep going, even when I'm sick. 

I had the flu once and I was only out for two days. Yes I was sick for two weeks, but I still pushed myself to cook for them, because, Alex can't cook to save his life. (Well maybe to save his life, but it's still pretty bad) (It's not like I haven't tried to teach him or cook as a family, but he doesn't want to) I didn't just cook I also made his breakfast on some days and I got my son to school and I even got him off the bus too. (I guess Willis was right, mothers do find a way) I still have no idea how I got up the strength because I rarely ate anything or bathed... If I did at all.     

"So is the food ready, now,?" asks Xane as he and his friend walk into the kitchen again. "Yes it is," I sing as I stir the pot once more. I give them their plates and they sit at the table, then I, prepare my husbands plate. He takes it into the living room and I sit at the table and I eat with the guys. Poor Luci is confused because she goes from the living room to the kitchen. I usually eat in the living room with him but, it seems as though he's in a bad mood and I don't like to argue or bad vibes, so I'm hanging with the guys.

I think I spend most of my days with children and teens anyways, so it doesn't bother me. I've known Xane's friends since first grade and some for even longer. (What would you choose living room with grumpy husband or the kitchen with funny, handsome son and friend?) 

The boys wash out their plates and I put up the rest of the food. My husband brings in his plate and puts it on the counter. "You didn't like it?" I ask when I see he barely ate. "No you put too much cumin" "I didn't add cumin" "Well it has something," he says as he turns his nose up. "If you want I'll make you something else" "No I'm fine," (I don't push it because usually when he says no it's no)

"Okay, well do you want a piece of cake?" "Yeah," "Okay, well you go have a seat and we'll see if Luci will let you get the controller away from her. I say as she sings, she's found the controller. It wasn't lost, she just likes things even if you're already holding it.  

 I get everyone a piece of strawberry short cake, then I have a seat on the couch to start working. Maybe I'll take Willis a piece tomorrow, if I see him at the park. I really hope I do see him. I can't help but smile when I think about what we'll talk about.