The Bar Stool

What's it to you?

Having a day off from the salon is always my favorite. I can catch up on my shows, read and read until my eyes strain to read another word.

"Tayzley!" My father calls through my door. My face is covered with my pillow.

"What?" I mumble loudly.

My door pushes open and the light flicks on. Another thing I hate about living at home, people think they can just walk in. "You said you needed to use my car last night. Take me to work." Its not even a question its more of a demand really. It normally is when it comes to him.

"Right, I forgot." I groan flicking the blankets off my body slipping on my boots and my coat.

It's normally freezing in our room because the f**k tard that built the house didn't pipe the air ducts right so during the summer its a damn sauna and during winter its an icebox. So that requires me to wearing leggings and a sweater to bed.

When my dad said take him to work, that normally means me riding with him to work while he drives. The leather seats are cold against my legs as I slide into his Lexus, reaching for the seat warmer button.

I push the frames of my glasses up my nose and slip on my red beanie over my matted hair. I'm honestly surprised my dad didn't have a smartass remark about it.

"What did you need it for anyways?" He asks pulling out of the driveway.

"My car decided to take a f*****g s**t on me last night."

He groans. "Language Tayzley."

I groan in return throwing up my hands. "I'm f*****g twenty-one dad. Where the hell do you think I learned this from?"

"Not from me that's for damn sure."

"You're kidding? Can we please not argue about this. I say f**k all the time. Just about as much as you do. Get use to it." I sit back in my seat, setting my hands on my thighs trying my best to keep my temper down.

"I'm about sick of your s**t Tayzley. Please move out."

"Really? You're going to throw that in my face, again!" I lash at him. My nails digging into the material of my black leggings.

"You're twenty- one. Old enough to cuss, you're old enough to move out."

"And what? So you can sulk and wait for mom to come running back? Well she's not and now I'm starting to see why she left you!" My eyes widen, and for a moment I catch my father's eyes water.

Fuck! Curse my damn mouth. Curse me.

"I--I didn't mean that da-"

He cuts me off by putting his hand up and putting the car in park in front of the rent-to-own store. When he climbs out of the car, he doesn't slam the door, but closes it gently leaving me in a pool of regret.

How could I be so f*****g stupid? None of that was my fathers fault my mother ran out on us. He always blamed himself. And I just threw it in his face.

The words slipped through my mouth, like something was on the other end pushing them through as I was trying to push them back in.

My stomach hurts and I feel sick. My eyes are red and swollen by the time I pull up to Parkers Automotive. I don't want to go inside looking like this. People will stare.

I wipe my eyes until they are dry from tears and head inside. Anxiety strings through my veins pulling me back to the exit, because I know I'm going to see him.

I don't know why I'm getting so nervous over nothing. He's just a guy. A normal...I take that back. He's an obnoxious asshole.

I scan over the auto magazines as I wait for the front desk person to return from wherever they are. I swear without these places I wouldn't know half the s**t to do to my car. I can check oil and pump gas and that's about it.

Not all of us woman come equipt with how to do certain things.

"Tayzley?" I jump slightly from the sound of his voice. Turning on my heel, I face him. His white T-shirt smeared in black residue. A red rag swipes over his hands as he cleans them off stepping from behind the counter to meet me.

"Uh, yeah hi. The battery?"

"Oh yeah, s**t. Its a jetta right?" I nod and he reciprocates. "Okay, give me a second. We just got a new shipment in today I think we have one." Moving back behind the counter, his semi dirt filled fingers tap away at the keyboard. "I was right. Let me go get that for you."

"Okay I'll just wait Here then." I tell him. Why does this feel awkward? Is it awkward?

It's only awkward if you make it awkward.

Seconds later he comes back with a white square box. "Okay, just throw me a fifty and we'll call it even."

"All right?" I pull out my card and hand it to him. He looks at my card before swiping it in the card machine and hands it back to me. "Thanks..."

"Welcome. I'll see you around." See me around?

"Yeah..." I grab the box propping it under my arm and walk out to the car with the most confused look a person can have plastered on my face. "What the hell?" I say out loud to myself.

I'm beyond confused, beyond irritated. What is his issue?

I climb into my father's car and head back to my house.

I'll see you around...

And why was he acting so distant? Like he didn't want me there. Like he was almost embarrassed I actually showed up.

Half of my wants to message him on f*******:, but the other half is overruling me, stopping me from doing so.

***

After two hours of being home, the house is clean, the laundry is put away and my food is cooked and ready for me to eat.

I check my phone real fast and low and behold there it is, flashing green indicating I have a message.

Tanner: did the battery work? Oh now he wants to talk.

Me: what's it to you?

Tanner: um, what's your deal?

Me: nothing...I haven't put it in yet. I'm waiting till I go pick up my dad. He'll do it after work.

Tanner: oh okay...I can always come over and put it in myself?

Me: sorry, no room for obnoxious meathead trucks like yours in my driveway. I smile at myself and push send.

Tanner: really Tayzley?

I'm coming over anyways.

And you can't stop me.

God damn it...

Quickly I pull myself together. Putting away my leftovers and cleaning up, even though everything is already clean.

Moments later my front doorbell rings and I freeze. He can't be here already?

The doorbell rings again and I finally move to open it. There he is, his army sweatshirt, the hoodie around the collar popped. Does he own a damn coat? Its freezing outside.

"Are you going to let me in or let me freeze?"

"That's a tough decision to make. Hmmm," I tap at my chin, letting him freeze just a little longer.

With an exaggerated groan he yanks the screen door open and pushes his way past me, stepping into the warmth of my home. "If you were smart you'd wear a winter coat. Since it is winter." I point out closing the door behind me.

His eyes roll, but then moves them down my body in an instant. I know I'm only wearing leggings and a T-shirt. What's the big deal?

He moves closer cornering me against my door.

"Why do you have to be so frustrating?" His fingers run up my arms, then down again gripping my wrist pinning them above my head. I gasp, biting my bottom lip. My resistance faltering at once.

"Why do you have to be so obnoxious?" I bite back. My wrists trying to wiggle their way from the hold above my head.

"Why do you have to be so addicting?" His lips are cold when the come in contact with my jaw, but they soon start to warm up as he moves down my neck. My legs weaken, my stance against the door almost breaks when he bites my tender flesh on my collar.

I moan. I can't stop it. Nor do I want to at this point. I moan again and this time its his name. "Tanner."

His hands soon let go of my wrist, my arms falling, dropping around his neck like they were meant to be there. His hands find my hips, pushing me harder into the cold door. His mouth still slowly torturing the skin against my neck.

It's much harder than the first kiss. More needed, more fused with that desire that us as humans seek.

I want to push him away, I really f*****g do, but the softness of his lips trap me in trance. His body walls us back, my feet slipping against the tile as I try to keep my balance.

Stepping into the warmth of my livingroom he falls back onto the couch, my wide thighs straddling him. But all at once I become self conscious. Self conscious of the fact that I'll feel like I'm crushing him, so I move off quickly standing there like a child.

"Was that too much?" He sits up, his hands running down his face.

"No."

"Then what's wrong?" Confusion in his expression.

I shake my head, sitting down beside him. "How do you find me attractive?" I question him.

Turning to me, he studies me, like he always does, his hand reaching up to push my glasses up my nose. "It's how you hold yourself together Tayzley. You're like a classical composure, you move around the bar so smoothly, but you have that twist. You're different and you let people know that by your confidence."

"Uh, English please. This isn't Shakespeare buddy." I roll my eyes. He moves closer. Removing my framed glasses from my face.

Calmly and so smoothly he says, "I find you attractive because your witty, funny, stubborn, and most importantly because how you present yourself." he taps at my bottom lip. "English enough for you?" He smiles.

"So, are you going to put my battery in?" I interrupt our moment. I'm nervous.

"I kind of was enjoying our little make-out session. You're going to make me go do that with a hard on?" He point to the clear-as-day bulge in his pants.

I gasp, laughing. I stand from the couch grabbing the box from the kitchen shoving it in his lap. "Go change it, please."

He stands. "Fine, but after?"

"Nooooo, go!" I point to the door, trying my hardest to keep a straight face from his orneriness.

***

Thanks to Tanner my car now runs perfectly. He left about an hour ago. My mind is still spinning from our intimate moment on my couch.

I hate that I'm like that, I didn't have that issue the first time I had s*x.

Maybe because you were drunk and you were on bottom. b***h face reminds me, making me cringe at the thought.

It's not my best moment in my life, but everyone was doing it and I was drunk at a party, my innocent body not so innocent after the ten cups of Budweiser took over the blood in my veins.

Not an excuse to lose my virginity. Everyone says wait till marriage, wait till you find the one you love. Blah blah blah.

You do know when you tell someone not to do something, they are more than likely to go out and do it just to smite you?

"Tayzley...earth to Tayzley. Stop looking at your damn phone like that." Aly my sister pulls me from my thoughts. When I look at my phone, Tanner's page is pulled up.

"Sorry," I set my phone face down on the armrest of the couch. "When did you get home?"

"Just got home, I'm going to the room." Her black backpack slung across her back as she slumps into the room.

Oh no...

Getting up from the couch I rush to her grabbing her elbow stopping her from walking. "What happened?"

"Nothing Tayzley. Just leave it."

"Not going to happen. Tell me or so help me I'll get into my car and personally hunt him down." She rolls her big blue eyes, huffing in response.

"Boys make promises they never keep." With a sigh, she slides her arm from my grip shutting the door in my face.

I've learned by now. Since my sisters has matured into a young woman and is now experiencing the wonders of love and heart break. To leave her alone when she asks of it.

I guess I'll watch another movie until my dad calls me to pick him up.

***

Watching The Grey by myself was not the best idea. Its not even dark out and I've checked at least ten times in our fenced in backyard if there were wolves chilling in my background waiting for me to step out and take me as their night time feast. There is plenty of me to go around I'm sure.

You know back when we were kids and we would go swimming at the local pool? Yeah well I was terrified to go to the deep end because I thought there was a killer white shark in it.

I was a dramatic little tyke and still, to this day I am just as dramatic maybe even more. Who knows.

Six o'clock rolls around and still my dad hasn't called me. I still feel incredibly guilty for throwing that in his face. Its bad enough he blamed himself.

I should call him. Picking up my phone from the couch I notice I have a message from Tanner. Of course. But I choose to ignore it and call my dad.

Nothing. I call three more times and nothing. Worry, fills me from head to toe and I start to panic.

"Carson?" I call my brothers nam walking into his room. He's in full on game mode, his turtle headset covering each ear. "Hello! Carson?" I wave my hands to get his attention.

"Oh, hey. Yeah watch up sis?" He moves one ear out from his headset.

"Have you heard from dad at all today?" Please say yes, please say yes.

"I texted him asking for money, but I got nothing. Why, is everything okay?"

I shakes my head, not even bothering to grab my coat as I leave.

My father has a past of attempted suicide since everything happened between him and my mother. He was under watch for two months at one point. Which drive me insane to the point where I would cry myself to sleep at night, wondering when my father would be back home. And safe.

Trying my best not to get into an accident as I speed down Hannah street. I think of the worst possibilities ever. What if I find him, like I did the first time?

Tears break through the barriers of my tear ducts running down my cheek at the possible outcome. People in the car beside me as I pull up to the intersection to cross highway 30, probably think I'm crazy.

When the light turns green I press hard on the gas, my tires spinning against the snow on the ground.

Seconds later, everything around me clouds with black.