Loving and Loathing Thy Mate

Chapter 8 Xanda's POV

" Your highness can I help you ? " Marias asked as I rushed to the blood stores. Marias was the one that was in charge of running the blood stores and distributing the blood among our coven. We had several suppliers under our compulsion. We stopped their van. They happily hand over a few of their blood bags. Unlike what she thought. We weren't raving blood monsters. Yes, we needed it. But no, we didn't need it in the masses. In fact, what I had just drunk from her was excessive. But the taste had been so exquisite, the most alluring, tastiest, sweetest blood I had ever tasted. I had heard that was the case when you found your mate. Another reason why we didn't need mass amounts of blood. We can drink from our own kind, other species' facts about us half the time are bogus. Blood sharing among vampires was intimate, more intimate than a s****l act. And once you are mated as a vampire, that is it. It was their blood and nothing else. I have heard other blood just makes you sick to your stomach and tastes vile.

If that's the case, Penny had just signed herself to me whether we liked it or not. I didn't need a lot of blood, but nonetheless, I still needed it to keep strong and healthy. " I am just thirsty is all " I snapped a little too harshly as I rushed passed him and straight to the fridges.

" Your highness , I can get that for you. Please let me " he rushed as he followed me in. But I ignored his attempts and battered his hand away when he treed to reach past me to do it himself. I opened the door and pulled out a bag. I was acting like a raving maniac , and I saw just how out of character that was for me with the shock of Marias's face when I turned round ripping the plastic off of the top with my teeth and was about to drink straight from the bag. I stopped myself , things like this spread and I dropped my hand with the bag in to my side , and pushed my hand through my hair slicking it back.

" Sorry Marias , just in a bad mood is all. I can handle this myself. I'm just thirsty. I haven't drunk in a few days. Hadn't released how long it had been with what's been going on " I smiled. But his confusion just deepened, and his eyes flicked at my mouth. I turned my head and caught a glimpse of my reflection in the stainless stall on the fridge.

Where I had very much blood still around my mouth. Caught in a lie. " Marias , this does not get spoken of. I do not expect you to question this or talk about it to anyone else. I am fine, I have not become a blood addict. This is Jania's blood, but she only let me get a taste. You know how she is. How her types are, always leave them wanting more "I explained, even though I didn't have to.

He didn't look overly convinced. I glared. I knew my eyes were glowering red, I sneered, my lips curled up, and he shrank back in fear.

"Yes, of course your highness, it is not any of my business. It is all your blood anyway, technically " he stuttered. I nodded my head once at him and then moved around him and sped away from the castle and to one of the places I knew no one would be at.

The coven lands were right by the sea, A cliff village humans would call it. But my kingdom was not a village far from it. Right at the top stood my castle. But where the cliff peaked at a point at the back of the castle's land. The only things that met the walls of the cliffs were crashing waves and an unforgiving sea. A tall strong oak tree stood. And if you climbed halfway up, there was a strong branch if you sat on it. It was like you were on the sea. And everything behind me, the castle, the responsibilities and everything else was just that behind me for a moment.

No one came up here, everyone knew not to come up here. Up here was where I got to be alone. I raced up and then launched myself at the tree, climbing to the branch and crouching on it. Bringing the blood bag up, I sniffed at it and pulled my nose back and away. The smell was rancid.

Growling, I sucked the blood from the bag. If this didn't make me sick, then it was all untrue. Her being my mate was untrue. I could go back, get rid of her and carry on as normal. I hadn't even swallowed the blood in my mouth, before my body rejected it. I projectile vomited the blood out of my mouth and into the wind. I wreched at the taste in my mouth and felt my stomach churn.

I dropped the blood bag out of my hand, and it hit the branch below. The blood splattered out of the bag and down the tree. I couldn't help staring at it as the realization of it all hit me. She was my mate, actually my mate. This wasn't all a trick or a joke. I stared out at the open sea, the salt breeze on my face, as if my whole world was crashing around me, like the waves crashing against the rock below me. Why would they do this? I looked up at the sky and glared at it.

" Why would you give me her as a mate ? Why would you force millennial enemies together as mates? All you have done is give us both death sentences. I shall kill her, I can not have her as a mate. My coven will rebel, I will be dethroned and killed. She dies or we both die. There is no other outcome to this ", I sneered up at the clouds.

Sitting back against the tree on the branch, I thought back on my father's words.

" Son , you must always keep an eye on thy enemy. Your enemy could be right in front of you and you do not know it. That is why you need to suspect everyone as your enemy. Some will be obvious, like mutts, for instance. But others could be those that pretend to not be , some are convincing. Don't ever let your guard down " he said.

I had looked across at him at the dining table. A young naive vampire that didn't see any ugly in the world yet. " What about mates Father ? We can trust our mates, right ? " I asked. My mother had died when I was only a very young vampire. All the coven had said how my father was a strong vampire, being able to survive without his mate by his side. How he had made himself carry on and live. He had even gone back to drinking blood from others. I looked down at the blood still dripping from the branches below me. I had not even completed the mating bond and I had not been able to even swallow

My father was a ruthless, strict, hard ass of a man. A look had crossed his face at my question . A look of disappointment that I would even ask such a thing. " Mate's that are not chosen for ourselves , forced upon us by some powerful being we only know of in books. Don't be misguided, son. We don't even trust them. That would mean trusting in someone else making the right choice for you " he had seethed.

" But, father, your speeches and congratulations to the coven members when they find their mates, you seem pleased for them, " I said in confusion.

" Keeping your subjects happy and onside , if I went and told them I think the whole concept of mates is the most hideous thing I have ever heard of , do you think they would still follow me , choose me to lead them ? No son, they would not. Now eat your meal, you still have a lot to learn " he had snapped. Clearly he had, had enough of my questions.

I remember sitting that day thinking if he had even loved my mother ? And that I would not have the same ideas of mates as he would. But maybe he was on to something. Maybe the whole mate's thing was bogus. They were clearly idiots.

The feel of her lips on mine was still in the forefront of my mind. The sounds she made were still echoing around in my ears.

I needed her alive, but I would not touch her that way again. As I made my way back into the castle , Kalen stood waiting for me. His face did not look impressed. " Jania "was the one word coming out of his mouth. Did I mention Jania was his sister?