Loving and Loathing Thy Mate

Chapter 7 Penny's POV

My latest interaction with him had left me feeling exhausted. The emotional and torturing roller coaster he had inflicted on the whole rejecting of the other and then him being a coward had me drained. I had come to the conclusion it had just been him playing more sadistic games. Waking up and scenting the room full of him and s*x confirmed my suspicions. It seems the b*stard had swapped physical torture for mental instead. I knew whose scent he was covered in, it was the b*tch's who I had been fighting that day.

Pure rage, anger and an emotion I wanted to ignore spurred me on to find the energy to fly up and slap the rancid vampire. But all sane thoughts flew from my mind when he threw his head back and laughed. I reined my fists down on him, and he started ducking them. Which only infuriated me more. I missed my wolf. I felt disconnected from her and lonely. She was still there, but she was constantly whimpering in pain in my mind. Too weak to even dredge up any other emotion bar pain.

I must have looked like a lunatic, my arms just flaring around wildly trying to land a hit. I hated that I was so weak. I knew I was a good fighter. I know I am strong and skilled. But I tired quickly, and my arms felt heavy and tingly. I had gotten hot and sweaty without my wolf's help, my stamina was not as good.

The grin on his face was manic and full of enjoyment and I hated I was giving him that, but I felt too out of my mind to be in control.

" I hate you "I screeched.

I managed to finally hit him in the chest, and he hardly even acknowledged that I had.

" The feeling is mutual, " he spat.

He finally stopped standing still and moved toward me, his hands grabbed my fists and with his speed he pushed me back until my back hit the wall, and he pushed my hands above my head and held them there, our harsh breaths twisted and mingled. His eyes locked with mine, and I was caught in his gaze. Like he was a sorcerer, I tried to look away, but I couldn't. I know I should be forcing myself to. This was so sick, he literally reeked of s*x with another woman, yet my body was still heating up with his proximity.

I smelt my own arousal in the air, and he did too. His nostrils flared, and he looked down, then back up. His eyebrows raised. He was as shocked as I was that I was aroused. What sane woman would be ? They'd still be trying to claw his eyes out with their bare hands. Screaming and shouting that he had cheated. But had he ? We were not together , no matter how much this connection was trying to demand us to be. We didn't even like each other. I didn't want him as my mate, so it isn't like I could then be mad if he was with another. But I was, I was jealous and furious. He would then come here and rub it in my face.

His head moved closer to mine, and with how muddled my brain was, I didn't move. I stood utterly still, my breathing was getting rapid. All logical thoughts left my mind and just this deep need inside of me took over. He was so close I could just headbutt him again , but as he moved closer and closer at a dangerously slow pace. My brain wasn't working properly.

His lips were just mere millimeters away from mine now. Just one of us had to move that tiny little gap more , and I did it. It was me. I pushed my lips against his. He groaned deep in his throat and pushed into me, keeping his hands trapping mine above my head. I gasped at the feeling that blew through my body like a tornado, the need and thrill that consumed me was like nothing I had ever felt before. And he took that opportunity to push his tongue into my mouth. The taste of him was the best thing I had ever tasted in my life.

I moaned , the sound vibrating through me as I pushed my tongue against his and the kiss set on fire and picked up the pace. This was the single most erotic thing I had ever experienced. This wasn't nice. I thought to myself this was raw, passionate and full of need. This was nothing like I had ever felt with Brendan.

Brendan .....

At the mere thought of him ,an image of him popped in my head and the look on his face that day when they were dragging me away. The devastation, fear and panic. It had me snapping out of my brain fog. I went to bite down on his tongue but bit my own instead. Because he had pulled his tongue back and mine had greedily followed, trying to taste more of him. I tasted the coppery taste of blood immediately with the force I had bitten down thinking I would be biting his. I hissed in pain and pulled my knee up, quickly hitting him straight in his private bits.

He stumbled back, hunched over growling in pain. I pulled my arms down and spat the blood in my mouth on the floor. What had I done ? Why had I kissed him ? My enemy, my nemesis, the man who killed my family. And I kissed him. I sobbed as my stomach tightened. I wrapped my arms around myslf as shame and disgust flooded me.

When I looked at him , he was just lifting his head up. His eyes were red , his fangs down, and he had blood around his mouth.

" What have you done ? " He hissed, panting.

" That will never happen again , I will never let you near me again " I sobbed at him and he straightened shaking his head.

" You don't get it , You don't get what you have done, you stupid mutt, " he rushed forward and gripped my neck , in a vise-like grip. This was not a grip meant to be soft, it was hard , tight and full of anger. His eyes were blazing as he looked down at me. I started clawing at his arm , gasping for breath as I felt my lungs constrict with the lack of air getting in them.

" Once a vampire tastes his mates' blood, that is it game over. If you are my true mate, this isn't a trick. I can not drink from anyone else. Like ever again " he spat at me. My eyes flicked to the blood on his lip.

" Why do you think I have not drunk from you mutt ? If this wasn't witchcraft, I could never kill you or reject you now. You're stuck here. If I can not drink from anyone else now, you will never get out of here now, mutt. What the f*ck did you do that for ? " he hissed.

His words slowly sunk in and I tried to move my head side to side. " I , I , I can't breathe " I gasped.

He sneered in my face and then let go abruptly, my body fell with a thud to the floor and I put my hand on my neck and gasped for breath, greedily drinking air back into my lungs.

" I was ... try .... trying to bite you" I huffed.

He stormed off stomping back and forth, running his hands through his hair wildly.

" Well, your stupidity may have just signed yourself a life sentence here. You were the one that kissed me " he growled.

I shook my head in disbelief, the realization of what he was saying was hitting home.

" No " I muttered , looking at the floor at the blood I had spat out. It had wondered how he had so much restraint around me , how he had made my back billed a river and not been tempted to drink from me. He was a bloodsucker , that is what they do. I had thought it was because I was a wolf, and maybe they hated us that much. They thought drinking from us would be disgusting or something.

" That will never happen again, I will never let that happen again "I whispered. I sobbed as I looked at the floor. I had never felt hatred towards myself before. But now I have done.

My head got ripped back , his hand was in my hair and he was looking down at me wildy.

" Your blood has called to me from the day I saw you , the smell of it has been so sweet. But I am not some young vampire , I have control, and you have tested every ounce of my restraint. But now I have tasted it , it is the sweetest , most delicious thing I have ever tasted. And I feel famished "he harshly whispered in my face. " All it took was that one small taste " he said more to himself.

His eyes went to my neck and fear creeped up on me. " No " I said and tried to move back, struggling against his grip. But he easily dominated me. His hand shot out quick like a viper attack and gripped my hand. He moved it up just as fast and before I knew what was happening his teeth had skunked into my wrist. The pain of it made me scream out. He drank greedily, making a growling noise in his throat.

" Stop , stop it "I begged him, but he just kept drinking and drinking. " Xanda stop" I said, trying to smack him with my free hand. But he had me in a grip to where I couldn't reach him. "STOP" I screamed , and that looked to have actually penetrated through his hunger. He ripped his teeth from my wrist and let go of me. He looked at me with blood down his chin, he looked unhinged. Then he did that speed thing out of the room, leaving me a mess on the floor. " What have I done ? " The thing is , I don't think I was just talking about the blood thing and now I would actually be his own personal blood bag. If we were infarct mates. No , my lips still tingled with his kiss, and his taste was still on my lips and tongue under the coppery tastes. I had kissed a monster and I liked it.