The True Northern King - James

Chapter 9

I watched my sister jump happily on the ground, as the horse I had purchased for her had been brought out of the stables and into the courtyard where everyone was assembled. I had tried focusing on my younger sister and giving her her present while at the same time ignoring the angry look I got from my father, but those two things were harder than ever. All I could see was her. She stood by her husband-to-be’s side, as they watched how happy Laelia got from seeing the dark brown mare I had given her. I should have been filled with happiness from seeing my sister so excited, but I had just had my heart ripped out. Feeling happiness at the moment was an impossible task, and as Serina turned her head a little, looking at me, her smile disappeared and her eyes got sad before she turned away again, looking back at Laelia.

Laelia was helped up on the horse’s back by Henry, and her smile only got wider as everyone clapped around her. My father was the only one who wasn’t excited and simply tried his best not to ruin this happy moment for my sister.

Laelia then noticed me in the crowd and waved happily at me, while the big smile only got bigger. I smiled back at her the best I could, but it was quite a failed attempt. Luckily, she was so occupied by her gift that she did not notice it. Henry led her around a little in the courtyard while I turned to watch Serina. She was all I wanted and now … now I had lost her.

After Laelia had been led around on the horse a little, she came over to me to hug me and thank me. She jumped excitedly around, as I let her down on the ground again, and then she followed father and the rest of the guests inside to continue the party. I stayed in my place though. The fresh night air was more than welcome.

It felt like I couldn’t breathe when I was inside. After Serina told me she would no longer wait for me, it felt like the ground beneath me had disappeared and I did not know what to do. How could I let her go? How could I just … let her go?

I looked up at the moon that had appeared in the sky. Were her and my fate really not tied together? Were we destined to live separate lives? I could not believe this. My heart felt so heavy as I turned towards the entrance of the castle, and then, very slowly, I walked up the stairs leading inside, and then walked up to the next floor.

Most of the guests had already gone back to the big ballroom and, therefore, the hallways were empty, but just as I had turned a corner, I saw something that shocked me. Right there in the shadows, the very only Lord Byron had another man pressed up against the wall, kissing him hungrily. They had to be drunk if they were doing something like that in the open, and while I should probably just turn around and walk out of there, the sight of them had me realizing something. Serina was marrying a man who had no real interest in her. She was simply a shield. Something to hide his true desires behind.

This made me hopeful as I turned around, determined to find Serina and let her know. Maybe then she would give me more time. Maybe then she would let me take care of her. I took another way to the ballroom and when I walked inside, I looked around desperately for her.

I found her standing with some other ladies, enjoying some of the cakes that had been served. I walked over to her, not carrying what people saw or thought, as I grabbed her hand and pulled her with me.

“James!” she said, confused.

She tried fighting me, but I did not let her get away from me. I had to talk to her, and I had to convince her that she should be mine. I led her down a few hallways until we were alone and then I turned to her, placing my hands on her shoulders. She looked shocked up at me.

“What are you doing?” she whisper-yelled. “What is going on?”

“You don’t know who you are marrying,” I said.

After seeing Lord Byron with that man, I had come to realize why his name had sounded familiar. There were rumors about him and his desires for the same s*x, but, of course, I did not use my time on gossip and had ruled it as such.

“What are you talking about, James? What is this?” she asked almost tiredly.

“Serina, Lord Byron isn’t who you think he is.”

“What do you mean?”

I could barely contain my smile, so excited I was. I probably shouldn’t have been feeling like this, but Serina was the woman of my dreams. I wanted no one but her, and I would not rest until I had her.

“Lord Byron won’t be able to give you what you want.”

“And what is it I want?” she asked and crossed her arms.

“You want a husband who can give you kids and a family. Who can provide for you and give you a happy life.”

She lowered her arms a little, those high walls of hers coming down a little, as she finally really listened to me.

“And you think he can’t give me that?” she asked.

“No, he can’t.”

“Why is that?”

“Because your husband-to-be likes men.”

She seemed to freeze a little from my words, but then pushed my hands away and sighed, shaking her head a little. Her reaction confused me. Should she not be happier? Should this not give her a good enough excuse to end her engagement and cut ties with Lord Byron?

“James, I-“

“I saw him,” I said. “If you don’t believe me, I can show you. And it isn’t only me who believes this about him. More have seen him.”

“I know …”

“You … what?” I asked, confused.

She sighed deeply again and had a hard time looking at me. It confused me a lot. What was happening? What did she mean, when she said she knew?

“I know he likes men,” she whispered.

“Then … Why?”

She seemed to have a hard time finding the right words, and I could understand why. It made no sense why she would tie herself to a man that would never be able to truly give her what she wanted. He might be able to force himself to give her a kid or maybe two, but he could never truly want her or love her, like I could. Like I already did.

“James, I had to make a fast engagement,” she said. “And Lord Byron needed a wife in order to make those rumors about him go away. We both made this engagement in order to help ourselves.”

“But you will not get a happy marriage.”

“We don’t always get what we want,” she said sadly.

“Serina, I can give you all those things you dream of. I know I have made you wait, and I will make you wait a little longer, but it won’t be forever! Trust me! I will convince my father.”

“I can’t wait, James,” she whispered. “At least this way we can both set limits. We can both be who we want to be and have no obligation to each other. This is just a way to get what we want. I can be taken care of, and he can go have fun with those he wants to.”

“And be unfaithful to you.”

“It is barely a marriage anyway, James!” she said. “I won’t hold this against him, not when he makes sure I don’t end up on the streets and gives me a home.”

“I can give you that!” I said. “I will give you children as well. I will only desire you! Serina, choose me! Stay with me!”

“I want to!” she said and placed one of her hands on my cheeks.

Her thumb stroked lightly over my skin, and I closed my eyes for a moment, just leaning into her touch before I looked at her again. We were so close I could feel her hot breath on my lips. I wanted to kiss her so badly. I just wanted to claim her as mine right now.

“But we can’t. Our lives … they are not compatible.”

“Of course, they are!”

She shook her head before pulling away before I got a chance to even touch her. She backed away a few steps, tears in her eyes as she looked at me.

“I have to do this,” she said.

I shook my head, completely refusing to listen. Serina was mine. She would always be mine. She had been from the first time I met her and saw her as nothing but an annoying little lady that I loved to annoy, to tease and bully.

“No, you don’t,” I said and grabbed her hand.

“Please James, let me go,” she whispered.

I shook my head and placed my hand on her cheek.

“You are all I want, Serina. I am not complete without you.”

“Please, stop …”

“I can’t! I am in love with you! I will never stop!” I said.

Before she got a chance to say anything, I leaned down and claimed her lips with mine in a powerful and hungry kiss that made my body come to life like never before. This was right! This was how it was supposed to be. Could she not see that? Could she not feel how much I wanted her? How much I desired her! But then suddenly she pulled away, the tears streaming down her cheeks as she backed away, shaking her head.

“I can’t … I am sorry, James!”

She turned away and pretty much ran away from me, and I saw the woman I loved disappear out of my life …