Afraid to Love

7

I watched him on the ice, how he joked with his team mates, how he skated and scored and defended and I couldn’t help but miss him. I missed our old times. I missed going to his games. I missed the rush of being a groupie for him.

I got really into the practice. I got to head down near the bench when he went to get water and he tossed his helmet at me before leaned on the wall.

“Like being back here?” He asked, and I laughed but sighed before nodding.

“I do. I almost started to cheer when I realized that you were going against your own teammates.” I said and we both laughed lightly. “You’re good. You’ve always been good.” I added, and he smiled at me and I just couldn’t help but lean in a bit.

“Yeah?” He asked me to lean in just a bit more too and I nodded. “Any other compliments?”

“From what I have heard, you’re a shoo in for captain next year.” I told him and moved my foot just a bit.

“Yeah, I heard that on the ice too. One guy isn’t too thrilled, and he will want to stake his claim, and if he doesn’t get his way, he is adamant on being traded.” He told me and shrugged before looking over his shoulder. I looked around and tried to follow his eyes, but they were going everywhere.

“Which one is it?” I asked him, and he looked back at me and gave a laugh before shaking his head.

“Don’t you worry about that… now, how about dinner?” He asked me, and I looked at him and then the ice before shrugging at him. “Or… do you want to come on the ice with me for old times sake?” He offered, and I smiled and bit my lip. “Let me find you some skates.”

“I’ll be waiting.” I called out and moved to hope over the small fence and waiting as other guys looked at me as they went into the locker rooms. I waited for about twenty minutes before he came back out, with no jersey, no gear, just his jeans and a jacket on and he held out skates.

“Let’s get you on the ice.” He said and dropped them near my feet before he sat down next to me and stretched out a bit. I took off my shoes and tied the skates up before taking the covers off and taking steps towards the ice.

“It’s been so long.” I told him as I slid out and turned back to watch him walk to the ice.

“I bet it has.” He told me, and I started to skate faster around and around before seeing him in the middle and I smirked and skated right at him, but he made me miss when he moved, and I stopped hard spraying ice everywhere.

“So… what are we going to do?” I asked him as I started to go around him in circles and he watched me with a smile.

“I want to play. Just a bet.” He said, and I slowed down before facing him and crossing my arms and waiting for what he meant. “I will play you… for our relationship.” He said, and I gulped and stopped dead to look at him.

“What do you mean?” I asked, and he licked his lips and seemed to think it through before coming closer to me.

“We play to five shots. I win, we are in a relationship again. Like we were back then. You win, you get to tell me what we are going to do.” He said, and I waited before looking towards the nets.

“What if I don’t want to play?” I asked him and sniffled hard trying not to think about what either option means.

“Then I win.” He stated with a light laugh and I gave him a look before shaking my head and looking around.

“No hitting.” I said, and he smiled before nodding. “No pucks to the body… it has to stay on the ice at all times. And no fancy tricks you know I don’t know how to defend from.” I told him, and he just nodded again before skating towards where I had left my shoes and tossed a puck to the ice before grabbing two sticks.

I took one from him and moved to the center as he moved the puck and then I stood there, on the other side, waiting for him to tell me how we were going to start this.

“Well?” I asked when he seemed to just watch me wait.

“I am going to count to three, and while I do that we are going to put the sticks down on both sides, and when I hit three we are going to try and get control of the puck.” He told me, and I just nodded and moved my shoulders until we were both beside the puck and he started the count. “One, two… three.” His long pause threw me off, and as soon as we made eye contact he said three and took his chance to shoot the puck between my skates, and he made a wide circle around me before taking off with the puck.

I was barely behind him when he shot his stick back and hitting it hard and it went right into the goal and he made a half circle and smirked before going right to his own goal. I blew out a breath, knowing deep down that he was going to win. But I was going to try my hardest.

As much as I still loved him, I couldn’t just be drawn back in without a fight for my life. We went around, scoring one each until we were both at 4 and then he stopped in the middle and tilted his head at me.

“What?” I asked slightly out of breath and he smiled coming closer.

“How about this… if you score on me, or I score on you, it’s over.” He said, and I just laughed.

“That’s the point of getting to 5 each isn’t it?” I asked, and he just gulped.

“Catch is, you go first.” He told me, and I watched as he waited for a response.

“Me?” I asked, and he just nodded.

“You go first, if you score, there is no reason for me to continue. If you don’t, I take my shot.” He said, and I felt so confused. He was putting this all on me. Wondering if this was the right move for us. He wanted to make that that he didn’t just win because this was his game.

“Willing to risk it?” I asked him, and he just nodded and seemed to accept what I was asking him.

He pushed the puck towards me slowly and I looked at it and shifted it back and forth, getting a good curve with it as I did so and then I looked up and started to move, but Nick didn’t move. He didn’t start to block, he just watched me take the puck.

I stopped moving and slid the puck back to him and he gave me an award-winning smile. “What does this mean?” I asked him, and he gulped before skating closer to me.

“It means you want to try again just as bad as I do.” Nick said stopping just before me and I gulped this time and kept eye contact.

“Is this the part where you take me home and feed me what you call food?” I asked him with a light laugh and he just grunted and set his forehead on mine before looking right at my lips.

“I will take you home, to my home, and we can talk about changing some of the things, so you don’t think kids are just going to start running around the house.” He laughed lightly this time and I beamed at the thought.

“Or you could move some of your childish things into my home.” I said, and he narrowed his eyes a bit before sighing.

“We can cross that bridge when we get there again. But tonight, we are going to my place, I will cook you a meal that you will enjoy, and I will take you home, kiss your goodnight, and see you tomorrow.” He said, and I smiled but accepted him planning out things beyond tonight