Afraid to Love

8

Dinner wasn’t horrible. It was better than my own spaghetti. Even his home-made garlic bread made me hum with happiness. And he did drop me off at home around 9:30pm. He gave me a kiss goodnight, on the cheek.

The next morning, I was headed to the hospital when he texted me about picking me up, but I told him I was heading to see Sarah before she was released now that she was well rested and ready to start working on her speech.

He met me there, coffee in hand when he got to her room and I was showing her pictures and asking her questions, getting a good feel of what she can say, what she really needed to work on, and how much she had already healed.

The nurses informed me that she was healing just fine, that she should be all set to head home and they can start her file, and that’s when I pulled out all the paper work for her parents.

“If you could just fill out some of the things yourself, I already know most of it, but in all honesty my work load is already piling up and I would really like to get things set straight and so I don’t forget anything. Some of it is just basic stuff. You don’t have to fill out your own questionnaire, maybe the Nanny would or whoever is going to be sitting in on most of the appointments.” I added and looked between the parents.

“Of course, do we need to get any other things together, like flashcards or anything?”

“No, you don’t have to worry about those things. I am going to bring what I need for her with me. It will be simple and shouldn’t really cost you guys a thing besides the co-pay since you guys have great insurance.” I told them waving off the idea of them needing anything. “Do you guys want me to always take notes, record the sessions, or are you okay with just passing along what we do from who sits in?” I asked knowing that some parents couldn’t be around always but wanted to know everything.

“Maybe just have one of us, whoever is sitting in on the session take notes.” Lola told me, and I just nodded to her.

“Okay good, I will get some of the things put together, some things that you can do with her while she is still here. In my experience, most impairments are best dealt with after the problem, like the stroke, or in Sarah’s case, the surgery is put behind her. I would like to resume working with her when she goes home. But if you want to me to work through and push her like the physical therapist I can do that, it’s just up to you two.” I waited as they seemed to communicate through eye contact. “I can let you two think on it, even ask Sarah?” I offered and they nodded. “Okay, and I will find somewhere to print things out for you to work on… I will be back with everything.” I excused myself and saw Nick leaning in the doorway.

I smiled as I sipped my coffee before seeing that he was watching me. “You know Sofia… this suits you.” He told me as he started to follow me.

“How so?” I asked and looked around before remembering where the attending’s lounge was.

“You’re great with the parents, and the kids. And you seem to be a miracle in therapy. I’ve read up on you.” He told me and I smiled.

“I loved the first kid I was a nanny for. He had a speech issue. And it was so amazing to see him go from not saying anything to working on full sentence with my help.” I told him, and he just smiled at me.

“It is amazing huh.” He told me, and I just smiled.

“Why are you here?” I asked him, after a moment.

“I knew you would be.” He smiled, and I just couldn’t help but roll my eyes. “Did you know that you look fantastic in scrubs?” He asked me, and I smiled as I kept walking.

“Well thanks. I only wear them when I must come to the hospital, and after this appointment, I am heading to the main hospital. For adults.” I said and turned to him as I opened the lounge.

“Adults?” He asked me, and I nodded.

“My mentor told me that one day kids that need help will get too much, and she told me that I should break it up. Take some adults that have had strokes or other issues and help them. And I am helping some kids, like Sarah, and a couple other special cases.” I told him and moved to log into the small computer. I hooked it up to the printer and started to print out some things I had sent to my email hours before and started to print it all out.

“So, what are Mitch and Lola going to do with these?” He asked taking the stack of papers from me.

“They are basically going to use them as flashcards. Make Sarah use her tongue to say the T’s and L’s.” I told him, and I just kept walking beside him, sipping my coffee and savoring the taste. I knocked on Sarah’s door lightly.

“Come on in.” Lola waved me in and I took the papers from Nick and held them.

“I printed these out for you, just something you guys can use to go over with her, make her really pronounce the sounds that involve her tongue instead of her lips.” I told her, and she nodded. “Have you two discussed if I should wait to continue with her speech here, or once she gets home?” I asked and tried to remain as still as possible when I felt Nick rubbing my lower back drawing Lola’s eyes there as well.

“I think that we should wait until she’s home, that wat the Physical stuff is on a tighter schedule and it can be on offset days with you.” She said, and I just nodded.

“I think she can handle both.” I heard Mitch behind me and I turned to look at him.

“So, which is it?” I asked looking between both parents.

“Why don’t you decide Doc.” Mitch said, and I saw the slight narrowing of his eyes as he noticed his friend still touching me.

“Why don’t we wait for Sarah to rest up and you two can ask her. I would really rather have her rested and home before I do this.” I told them and saw Lola give her husband a “I told you so” look and I just looked to Nick.

“We’ll let you know what Sarah decides.” Lola told me, and I just nodded.

“I have to get going, it was great to come in and check in on her, and make sure she does at least about 10 every time she feels up to it.” I told them, and Lola enveloped them into her arms and nodded to me. “Call me if anything changes.” I told him, and Mitch nodded to me this time and I turned to collect my bag.

“Headed over to the state hospital?” Nick asked, and I nodded. “How are you going to get there?” He asked me, and I just shrugged.

“Uber.” I giggled when he just rolled his eyes.

“Me.” He told me, and I just couldn’t help but sigh and let him take me. “What time are you planning to be done. I don’t have anything today, so I am free.” He said, and I thought about it.

“That depends on my case load that they are finally going to give me. I will text you the details.”

“How about dinner out tonight?” He asked, and I just hit the elevator button as I thought about it.

“Where?” I asked, and he just gave me a smile. “When?”

“Around 7? Unless you’re not done by then.”

“Well, I would have to be done and get home to change. I am sure that most restaurants wouldn’t want me walking into their nice establishment in my scrubs.” I said looking down at myself before we got inside the elevator.

“Okay, so I will pick you up, take you to your place, wait for you to change, and take you out to dinner.” He told me, and I just laughed at his plan before sighing.

“I really need to get a car. What is with you needing to drive me around?” I asked him, and he just shrugged.

“You used to drive me around all the time in high school.” He reminded me, and I laughed.

“That is because you couldn’t pass your driving test. How many times did you take it before they cut you off? Five?”

“It was 7 and three of those were the written one.” He told me, and I just kept laughing. “It’s not that funny Sof.” He added when I just could not stop laughing. “You know, I did get a way higher SAT score than you.” He told me, and I huffed this time.

“That is because I took the much harder ACT and if you put the numbers at the same I had about 100 points on you.” I told him and smiled at him sweetly.

“Yeah, yeah.” He pushed his hand out and waved me off. I started to tell him where he could drop me off when we got to the other hospital when he cracked his knuckles and then he grabbed my hand and held it tightly as we started to walk from the elevator.

“You think you are so smooth.” I whispered shaking my head as he used his other hand to unlock his truck.

“Am I not?” He asked with a laugh and I really looked at him before stopping. “What?”

“You want something.” I stated, and he just laughed before shaking his head.

“No, I don’t.” He told me, and I just crossed my arms and waited. “Okay, maybe I want to make sure that you will be at the match… Next Wednesday.” He told me, and I just nibbled my lip.

“I don’t know about my schedule, but I will check it and clear it if I can.” I told him, and he smiled wide. “What else?” I asked seeing there was one more thing on his mind.

“Christmas?” He asked, and I waited for more. “What were your plans?” He asked me, and I gulped and looked away this time.

“I don’t have any. Was just gunna be me at home.” I told him, and he leaned in and gave my temple a peck before pulling me under his arm.

“Now, it is going to be me and you.” He told me, and I gulped. He opened my door and I stepped in and waited for him to get in on his side before asking my own question.

“You didn’t have plans?” I asked knowing that he probably did with some of his team mates, most likely with Sarah and Mitch and Lola since they all seemed to be so close.

“No. All my teammates like to fly out to their families or go on vacation. And Mitch and Lola need their time with Sarah without all of us hopping in and out.” He told me, and I just smiled and nodded.

“I get that.” I told him with a wink and he started the truck.

“When are you, scratch that, how are you planning on getting a tree?” He asked me, and I looked at him, then the truck.

“Well I do know this big guy, a professional player or something like that, he has this nice car, and he knows how to set up a tree, so I was just going to give him a call and see if he would get me one.” I told him, and he sent me a sideway glance and then started to smirk.

“I guess I can get you a Charlie brown tree.” He told me, and I laughed and shook my head.

“You know that I hate that term.” I told him, and he started to smile wide again.

“I guess I know what we are going to be doing after the date tonight.” He told me, and I looked back at him.

“Isn’t it supposed to snow really hard tonight?” I asked him, and he shrugged like it was no big deal. “Wow, you really don’t remember what I am like in the rain? And you want to take me into the snow?” I asked, and he nodded. “Are you listening to me Nicky?” I asked him, and he laughed this time and as he slowed to a red light he reached over, caught my chin and made me lean over the console.

“I am hearing every word you are saying sugar, and if you trust me, and let me show you something great about living in Seattle, I will not only take you out to an amazing dinner, but we will get two trees without you getting cold feet.” He told me and rubbed his thumb over my chin before giving me a quick peck on the lips.

I fell back into my chair, almost frozen in place until we got to where he was dropping me off and he put his flashers on before running around to open my door. He held out his hand, told me that if it were more convenient I could call a Lyft or Uber to my home, but he would be open to coming to get me and waiting for me to change after I was done here.

“I can tell you when I am headed home, and then you can meet me half an hour later.” I advised, and he just smiled.

“Fine.” He said, and I just smiled at him before he grabbed my waist and leaned down and planted his lips right on mine.

Kissing him, it was like coming home. It’s something totally cliché and something I would scoff at in a romantic comedy, but it was true. I had been stepping on some eggshells when it came to our relationship continuing. But kissing Nick again… it was like putting on my favorite pair of shoes or jacket. It made me relax and just go with it.

He wrapped one hand around my hip, the other went to my hair and controlled how my head moved for the kiss, and my hands went around him and smoothed over his back.

He pulled back from me, gave me a smile and then went towards the front hospital door. “Have a good day.” He told me as I walked past him, and I just nodded to him and kept walking until I was talking to the security guard.