Afraid to Love

5

I woke up upset that some dog was barking in the neighborhood and I whined and sat up knowing that it hadn’t stopped yet, which means it was time to get up.

I walked to my dresser, opened the casual drawer and pulled out the nicest outfit I could. It was light jeans, a deep emerald green long sleeve with bra and panties to match. I went into my bathroom, turned on the shower and just as I got under the spray I heard the doorbell and I sighed and showered as fast as I could.

I got everything rinsed out and moved to grab my robe instead of dressing because whoever was ringing wouldn’t stop and wasn’t patient. I ran down the stairs and tugged the door open.

“Hi, who are you?” I asked seeing a young girl looking at me with bright eyes.

“My name is Carrie, my mom said that you live here now, and I was wondering if you had kids.” She said, and I looked around for a parent.

“No cutie, I don’t. Where is your mommy?” I asked her, and she looked towards the house to the left and I followed her line of sight and saw a woman hanging on the fence. “Yeah, sorry, it’s just me.” I told her, and she nodded at me before looking to her mom. “I have to get dressed now okay?” I told her when she didn’t seem to want to move.

“Okay. Bye.” She waved her hand, that was covered in mittens at me, and I could have cooed. She was my nephews age. Maybe a bit younger. I waved at her as she turned one last time before rushing to her mom.

I closed the door and made a face as I shook off the awkwardness and just plain randomness that came with the question about children. I’ve always thought I’d never want kids. But after working with kids for year, I couldn’t help but want one or two.

I sighed as I went up the stairs, going up to finish drying off and so I could get dressed. I tugged on my jeans, slipped on my shirt, and went to find my closet and grabbed two black, thick socks before looking for the right kind of shoes. The ground outside had snow on the weather called for more.

I grabbed black Ugg boots before heading into my jacket collections and grabbing one to take downstairs. I set it near the front door along with my boots and went to make myself a pot of coffee. It was already quarter to 11 and I just relaxed as I waited for some sign of Nick being here.

I heard a car in my driveway and I looked out to see his truck sitting there and I walked from the window to the sink and washed my cup quickly before I heard my doorbell again.

I set it in the rack and moved to open the door. “You are awake and alert, good.” I heard Nick say as I turned to get my boots on. “And ready to go.”

I really looked at him today. His brown eyes always seemed so magical to me, maybe because his hair was exactly the same color, even the flecks of gold here and there in his hair had once had golden strands from the alcohol wipes he used to use for his acne. And his body, boy his body filled out.

When I first met Nick, he was tall and lanky and then he got into sports, into hockey, and he was at the gym, and eating right and having practice after practice. And now that he was a professional his shoulders were broad, his body defined, his arms thing as my thighs, he was bound to be attractive, but now he was just a striking man. A man any woman would be lucky to have.

“Yes I am. Now, what are you planning on doing with me?” I asked standing upright and putting my hands on my hips before I reached for the jacket I had brought down. I tugged that on before moving to get my purse.

“That’s a loaded question Sugar.” He winked at me when I finally made eye contact again.

“Very funny.” I told him, and he shrugged before winking and holding out his hand for me.

“Let’s get a move on. I told Ryder that you were coming, and he is waiting.” He told me and started to pull me out of my house and I turned back to lock the door. He had left the car running, something we wouldn’t have been able to do back home, but he seemed to know that nothing would happen.

I got in the car just like last night. He pulled out into traffic easily despite the heavy car flow. We couldn’t have been in the car for more than 10 minutes when we got to the more expensive homes in an enclosed neighborhood.

“Here we are.” He said after a long sigh and he put the truck in park. I looked at the house, it was the same shade as my shirt and I looked at it hard and moved to get out.

I shivered at the stiff wind that hit me and I couldn’t help but grumble about how I wanted this before I got it and Nick came around the car to grab my hand, yet again, and pull me with him.

We got into the garage and I saw a small sports car and shot Nick a look and he laughed. “Like you didn’t think I would get one.” He shook his head and winked. “The truck is Bertha, and this baby is Sofia.” He said looking at the car and I scoffed and felt disgusted.

“You named a car after me?” I asked him and let my mouth hang open as I glared at him.