Crashing into Love

Chapter Six

I checked the bedroom clock and I discovered that it's already 12 am. I can't believe that I've been thinking about the kiss for hours. It was my first time to be kissed and I'm not gonna deny that I liked it, loved it even. But I couldn't stop swimming in the sea of pessimism.

Tumayo ako at nagbukas ng bintana ng kwarto. Ang lamig ng hangin. Natatanaw ko mula dito ang dagat. The water splashed and churned. Ipinikit ko ang mga mata ko sandali at bumuntong hininga. I was fighting the urge to run away again. I just don't like this feeling. I just don't want to get attached.

But it's as if there is a force pulling me towards him. I don't understand, and I don't want to. Itutulog ko nalang ito. I closed the window. Naglakad ako pabalik sa kama and tucked myself in. Just when I was about to close my eyes, I heard rapid knocks on my door.

Nahintakutan ako. Who in their right state of mind would visit someone at this hour? Hindi ako tumayo sa kama, nakiramdam lang ako. The knocks continued and I gripped the blanket tighter.

What if it's them? Paano kung natunton na nila ako? Malamang na pilitin nila akong bumalik sa Manila para-

"Claire Faith! It's me, Raven." Dagling napawi ang kaba ko at napalitan ng pagtataka. Loko talaga itong lalaking to! Inayos ko ang sarili ko bago ko siya pinagbuksan ng pinto. He gave me a smile while I arched my eyebrow at him. "Go home, madaling araw na."

Pinilit kong magtaray pero hindi talaga ganon ang personalidad ko. It came out nicer than I intended it to be. I was supposed to act normal to mask the awkwardness brought to me by his kiss but I think my gestures are giving me away.

Natawa nalang sya at hinila uli ako, gaya ng dati. "Saan na naman tayo pupunta?"

"Doon lang sa pinanggalingan natin kanina, I can't sleep." Reklamo niya, he laced his fingers with mine and I had no choice but to let him. Sinabayan ko nalang siya sa paglalakad hanggang sa makarating kami sa dalawang punong pinagkabitan niya ng duyan.

May dalawang unan sa duyan at isang kumot. I looked at him in disbelief and he grinned at me. Mukhang gusto niyang matulog kaming magkatabi ngayon. Umupo sya sa duyan and patted the space next to him. Tinabihan ko naman siya.

Napansin ko ang isang maliit na mesang kawayan sa isang tabi. May inihaw na pusit, crabs at shrimps don.

I hugged myself because of the coldness and he must've noticed because he huddled closer and draped the blanket over our shoulders. I don't know what's more romantic, the fact that he fetched me from my house to spend the night with me or the fact that we are sharing one blanket right now.

I'm not supposed to give meaning to this but I am. I can't help but wish for something I know I won't have. That's life. People wish for things that would never be given to them. Life just loves to bullshit people's feelings.

"Bakit hindi ka pa natutulog nung pumunta ko sa bahay mo?" He broke the silence. "Maybe it's because of the coffee I drank earlier." I lied.

"Last I checked, you have no stock of coffee in your cupboard." Komento niyang tila hindi naniniwala. Kumunot ang noo ko.

"Last I checked, you don't know every inch of my house. At may bilihan naman din ng kape dito ha." Ganting sagot ko, he shrugged. Inabot niya yung plato at inilagay sa lap niya. Yung mga hipon natanggalan ng balat. He reached for the fork and impaled the shrimp. He then took a bite.

In the middle of chewing, he impaled another shrimp again and coaxed me to open my mouth. My eyebrow shot up but I did as I was told. Ngumanga ako at isinubo niya sakin ang hipon na ngayon ay nginunguya ko na. "I'm not a baby, you know? I could eat all by myself."

He smiled idiotically. "Let me just do this for you."

Hindi na ako sumagot. Isinubo ko nalang yung mga hipon na iniaamba niya sa bibig ko. Ng feeling ko ay busog na ako ay umiling na ako ng muli niya akong sinubukang subuan.

He set the fork and the plate down on the bamboo table again. Inayos niya ang kumot na lumaylay na sa braso ko. Ibinalot niya uli ito saming dalawa.

Thump thump

I heard the sound of my traitorous heart. Napailing ako at hindi nalang pinansin ang paglakas ng t***k nito.

"Anong naisipan mo at dito mo gustong matulog?" I queried as I listened to the sound of lapping water.

"Wala lang. Naisip ko lang na baka mas masaya matulog pag kasama ka."

I elbowed him. "Baliw. Pano mo mararamdaman ang saya kung tulog ka na." I repeatedly shook my head at him for giving me such a silly answer but he snorted. "Ever so naive, Claire Faith?"

I knitted my brows in confusion. Ginulo niya naman ang buhok ko. "That's not what I mean, you know?" Depensa niya.

"Eh ano palang ibig mong sabihin? Asan ang saya don ha?" I challenged him. Kampante na sana akong hindi niya ako mabibigyan ng matinong sagot kaso..

"Nasan ang saya? Edi dun sa part na gigising ako, tapos ikaw ang una kong makikita." Simpleng sagot niya na nakapagpatameme sakin. My heartbeat quickened. Umusog ako palayo ngunit umisod naman siya palapit. The contact our skins make sends jolts of electricity to my nerves.

Damn it, Raven.

Naramdaman ko ang pagkahilo ko kaya lumungayngay ang ulo ko sa balikat niya. Everything was bleak. I felt his arms around me. Inayos niya sa balikat niya ang ulo ko at hinalikan ang tuktok nito.

I was too dizzy to even push his body away from mine. I blinked several times while hoping that the dizziness would pass and after several minutes, it started to subside.

It could be worse. Bulong ng isang parte ng utak ko, dagli ko rin namang pinalis ang mga agam agam. It's not good to think about negative things. I should practice being an optimist.

Dahil busog na ako, unti unti ko ng naramdaman ang antok. I wasn't able to stifle a yawn. Hinaplos ni Raven ang buhok ko bago masuyong bumulong. "Sleepy already?"

Tumango nalang ako. Tumayo siya sa duyan at inayos ang dalawang unan doon. Una akong humiga pagkatapos ay tumabi siya sakin. His body was awfully close to mine that my breath hitched up. He is seriously giving me breathing problems without him knowing.

Lalong tumindi ang antok ko ng lumapat ang ulo ko sa unan. Raven draped his arm around my waist and buried his face on my neck. This situation couldn't get more romantically awkward, could it?

"Goodnight, Claire Faith." Masuyong bulong niya. Para akong inihehele sa tono ng boses niya. I smiled though he couldn't see. "Sweetdreams, Raven Andrei."

Hindi na siya sumagot, ibinalot niya lang ang katawan namin sa kumot. He tightened his hug on me. Ipinikit ko na ang mga mata ko.

Kinabukasan, nagising ako ng maramdaman ko ang masuyong paghaplos sa mukha ko. I slowly opened my eyes. Multik ko ng maitulak si Raven dahil sa pagkagulat ko. I calmed down when I remembered what happened last night.

Sinundo niya nga pala ako sa bahay at dito kami natulog. Raven's eyes were still closed while his hand was busy caressing my cheek. Hinahaplos niya ito ng marahan. Hindi muna ako gumalaw. I don't want him to know that I'm awake, partly because I don't want him to stop what he's doing.

His soft chuckle unraveled my thoughts. "I know you're already awake, Claire. Masyado ka naman yatang kinikilig diyan."

Nag-init ang mga pisngi ko at tinulak ko siya palayo. I shifted uncomfortably while he opened his eyes and bore them on me.

I nudged him in his stomach and he grimaced while massaging the area. "Is that how you say goodmorning?" He asked, jesting.

Inirapan ko siya. "Stop teasing."

Kinabig niya ako at hinila papunta sa kanya. "Eto naman, hindi mabiro. Goodmorning twisted creature!" Ang sigla ng bati niya.

"Goodmorning." Maikli kong sagot. He let go and I inched backwards, putting space between the two of us. He doesn't seem to mind, instead he smiled at me. A wide genuine smile that could split his face into two. Mesmerizing.

"Why are you smiling like that?" I inquired while studying his features.

"Just happy, that's all." Sagot niya bago tanggalin ang kumot naming dalawa. Hindi parin siya bumabangon. He continued giving me a weird sunny smile that could light the entire world.

"You know what the best part of waking up with you is?" He asked, eyes narrowing as he looked at me with fascination.

"Uhm, what?" Alangan kong balik tanong. His expression someow made me nervous.

He inched closer and leaned forward..

"A morning kiss."