Crashing into Love

Chapter Five

Nakaakbay na naglakad kami sa buhanginan. We were dripping wet! But I don't really mind, and he doesn't either. Umupo kami sa ilalim ng punong niyog at pinanood lang ang ilang mga turistang nagtatampisaw parin sa tubig.

"That was fun." Komento ko na ang tinutukoy ay ang pagboboating namin. He smiled at me. "Glad you enjoyed it."

Sumandal ako sa katawan ng puno bago pumikit. My hair was flying in all kinds of direction. Naramdaman ko ang kamay ni Raven na nagpupumilit na humawak sa kamay ko. Tinaasan ko siya ng kilay at tinaasan niya rin ako ng kilay na para bang sinasabing 'may angal?'

Angal? Jusko, wala. I smiled secretly when he interlaced our fingers. I closed my eyes again, and just let time fly.

"Do you still think about Cassidy?" I suddenly blurt out. I felt his grip on my hand loosen as I caught him off guard. I tried to ignore the little pricks I'm feeling right now.

"Yes." He admitted. I sighed and pulled my hand free. "Diba naman sabi ko sayo hindi maganda ang pag-iisip tungkol sa nakaraan. It will only reopen old scars that has already been healed. The past will cut and burn and stab—"

"I know, Claire." He replied with an unsteady tone that made me shake my head.

"I love you." Sabi ko nalang. He pulled me closer for a hug and I rested my head on his still damp chest. He mussed my hair and gave it a light kiss.

"Why do you love her?" I asked again, I was trapped in his arms and I can feel the way his heart beats wildly against mine.

"I don't know. I honestly don't think there is a reason for loving someone. Because I just love her. And I don't think I need a reason—"

"Bullshit. That's pure bullshit, Raven." I broke free from his embrace and stared at the sea. "Of course there is a reason. There will always be a reason. People have standards. And if there's no reason behind your love for someone then what's stopping you from loving a beggar? Do you get me? I mean, ano yun? Minahal mo dahil trip mo lang?"

He was speechless. Siguro pinag-iisipan niya din naman ang sinasabi ko. After a short while of silence, I spoke again. "If there is no reason behind your love for her then maybe you've never really loved her like you thought you did."

"I don't know." Mahinang sabi niya. I stayed silent to give him time to ponder about what I said. Everything has a reason. Hindi pwedeng magmahal ka ng walang rason. Only idiots believe that loving doesn't require a reason.

Isiniksik ko pang lalo ang sarili ko sa kaniya. My head is starting to throb but I ignored it. I focused on good memories to drive the negativity that is starting to invade my mind.

My thoughts are drifting to the life I left behind.

Raven spoke and his voice sent chills down my spine. "Unbelievable."

"What is?" I inquired with my eyebrows knitted. He chuckled as he stared at the calm sea.

"Parang ang hirap paniwalaan na nandito ako ngayon sa Laguna. Kasama ka. A person I never knew existed until a few weeks ago." His eyes were twinkling and smiling and I felt a smile tug at the corner of my lips.

"Ako rin naman. Life is weird that way. It has the ability to twist your fate in a matter of days, even seconds."

He nodded in agreement. "Bakit ba laging ang ganda at may sense ang sagot mo? May pinaghuhugutan ka ba?" Nakangising tanong niya. I only gave him a small smile.

Maya maya ay kumalas siya sa pagkakayakap niya sakin at tumakbo palayo. "Hoy! Saan ka pupunta?!"

"May kukunin lang! Stay there!" Hindi na ako sumagot. I watched his retreating back and heaved a heavy sigh.

Nasasanay na ako sa presensya ni Raven. Nasasanay na ako na lagi siyang nandyan, nakangiti sakin at biglang manyayakap. This is bad. Really really bad.

Para siyang bangin na handa kong talunin. No. Hindi ko dapat hayaang mangyari to. I'm here to help him, but instead I'm finding myself slowly being drawn to him.

Hindi naman nagtagal ay nakabalik na siya agad. He was carrying a hammock. Naningkit pa ang mata ko nung unang pagsipat ko sa dala niya. He grinned and strutted towards me. Pagkatapos ay itinali niya ang duyan sa magkabilang puno ng niyog. Nahiga siya dun habang ako ay nakatayo lang habang nakatingin sa kanya.

"Tara! Higa ka rin." Umiling ako at ngumuso. "There's no more space. One must learn to walk away from things they won't fit into. We can't always squeeze ourselves in. It will only get us hurt." Nangaasar na sagot ko at inirapan niya ako.

"Ang dami mong sinasabi, tara na." He persuaded but I didn't budge. I inched forward and crossed my arms. "Nah, ikaw nalang."

"Sige na, ganda. Hindi na papapilit yan. Sige ka kapag di mo ko tinabihan dito papangit ka." Pag-iinarte niya. Sinabuyan ko nga ng buhangin.

"As if I'm threatened." I rolled my eyes. Hinawi niya yung buhangin at naubo pa siya. Naguilty naman daw ako ng konti. Pinagpagan niya yung shirt niya na may buhanginan na ngayon, pati sa mukha may mga buhangin siya.

Lumapit ako at pinagpag yung nasa may leeg niya. Sa pisngi niya rin meron, marahan ko yung pinagpag. He tried to bite my finger but I pulled it away real quick. He chuckled before pulling me towards the hammock. I crashed into him and he grimaced.

Tatayo sana ako pero naipulupot niya na ang mga braso niya sa bewang ko. He buried his face on my neck. I pushed him away. "Ano ba naman Raven Andrei! Napaka mo!" Tili ko dahil nakikiliti ako.

Tinawanan lang ako ng talipandas. "Naglalambing lang, eto naman." Ungot niya pa.

"Heh!"

He removed his arms on my waist and used it to make a pillow for me. Para daw may maunan ako. Napakalandi! Hindi rin naman ako umalma. His fingers were playing with the strands of my hair.

"I kinda miss Manila." His voice was almost a whisper. "But I love it here."

Maybe he means to say that he misses Cassidy. Yes. That must be it. Manila. I wonder what's happening in there right now. I miss my life in Manila, too. But this is for the better. I keep on convincing myself that I did the right thing. And if I didn't run away, then I wouldn't have met Raven.

As much as it scares me to admit, Raven is no longer a random person in my life right now. He is important to me and somehow we share some similarities. We are both cowards. We run instead of facing the trials life has given us. But isn't fleeing a good thing to do? It gives you time to think without giving other factors the chance to influence your decision.

Would you rather drop a dangerous bomb on a place populated by people? People you've known your whole life, people who love you? No. At the end of the day, you will come up with the decision of running away. Because that bomb is inside of you, it is now a part of you. And you can't let it explode and hurt the people you care about most.

But here I am, still carrying the bomb. But now I stopped running, and I'm finding comfort with someone I've only just met weeks ago.

"Why would you miss Manila? It's polluted. And the cacophony is unbearable." Komento ko nalang. He shrugged. "Naattach narin kasi ako dun kahit matagal akong hindi nakatapak dun."

I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion. "What do you mean? You're not from Manila?"

"I was born and raised in Paris, mademoiselle. When I graduated from highschool, nagmove kami sa Manila ng parents ko. After I graduated, I stayed there for a while pero napagdesisyunan ko ring bumalik sa Paris. France is where my heart is, you know? When I was on board the plane, I met Cassidy. At yun, tumira kami sa Paris." He explained.

I tried to ignore the fact that they probably lived together. I don't even know why I'm acting like a jealous girlfriend. I smiled to mask the unsettling feeling I'm starting to feel. "So, you speak French.." I trailed off. He said yep.

"Really? That's so cool! Salita ka nga ng French! Kahit ano lang dali!"

He gave me a sweet smile that melted my heart in puddles. "Vous êtes important pour moi."

I arched my brow. "Oh, ano ibig sabihin nun." The meanie just shrugged his shoulders and I hit him with my fist. "Aray! Brutal ka talaga, Claire Faith!" He cringed.

"Ano nga kasi!" Pinagsalikop niya muli ang mga kamay namin at tinaas ito para matamang tignan.

"Maya ko nalang sabihin. Bigla akong nahiya." He replied with a shy smile. I hit him again, he didn't flinch this time.

"Ano ka bakla?!" I shouted.

"Hindi ako bakla. Kapag ikaw hinalikan ko diyan lalabas ang kaluluwa mo sa katawang lupa mo." Pagmamayabang niya. Nag-init ang pisngi ko kaya dagli ko siyang sinapak para hindi halata.

"Antipatiko."

"Baka ang ibig mong sabihin ay gwapo." I rolled my eyes heavenwards. He clutched my hand tighter as if doing so would convince me otherwise. I nudged him. "Ano nga kasi ang meaning." Hindi ko talaga siya titigilan hangga't hindi niya sinasabi sakin.

"Bakit ba gusto mong malaman?"

"Aba malamang! Hindi pa ko makatulog niyan mamaya dahil iisipin ko yan ng iisipin!"

"Kapag sinabi ko ba, hindi mo ko iiwasan?"

"Hindi. Bakit ko naman gagawin yon? Bakla ka nga yata talaga eh."

"Oh sige sasabihin ko na."

"Ano nga?"

"You're important to me.."

Natahimik ako. My heart was jarring for reasons I could not point out. We both fell silent. Tumayo ako bigla sa duyan at tinalikuran siya. Naramdaman ko rin ang pagtayo niya. "Claire.." He called gently from behind me.

I took a deep breath before glancing behind my back. But it was a wrong move. Suddenly, I felt his soft lips on mine. He ended the kiss quickly, it was just a smack but it really did make me feel that my soul was floating upwards.

After niyang pangahas na halikan ako ay nagtatakbo na siya palayo habang sumisigaw ng..

"Sabi sayo lalaki ako eh!"