Impossible lover (true story)

Chapter 8

    So, about the BBQ... we were in the corner of the first halls where our colleagues set up a BBQ place for us to enjoy our time. They placed a few haystack for us to sit on with some wooden table to make it cozy.

     Tyler and the guys started drinking beers since that was the only alcohol allowed, of course one of our friend from Russia smuggle in a bottle of home made whiskey. His name was Dmitrijs. He is very funny and honest, I like him. We start to work here almost at the same time , he is trustworthy and cool. We used to joking a lot and the time went faster like this. However we get along well, I never thought about Dmitrijs more than a friend, he is such a dork.. *chuckels*

    After an hour eighty percent of the people were drunk already, with Tyler in a row. I am not drinking since I need to drive so I am watching everybody’s behaviour... hilarious... ha-ha-ha.. I was laughing so much I needed to hold my belly cause it was hurting. They were dancing, joking with each other. Andrew asked the DJ to put on his favorite music on and everybody liked it so much, they went wild. After the song the DJ, who was one of the men from the office, asked Andrew for his phone to play more music like that, they said it was similar to the Nederlands songs, that's why they liked it so much.

    My good mood didn’t last long since Tyler got really drunk and he couldn’t smoke w**d yet so like that he always ends up a bit agressief. You need to know since we were in Nederland the w**d was legal so yeah, Tyler is using it... me too sometimes but only in the evening , it helps me to sleep good, but Tyler smokes a lot. To much if you ask me.

    One of our colleagues Liam from Africa, who was also drunk came up to us and since he saw Tyler hugging me, somehow he thought that he can too so he came and tried to hug me. Tyler became angry and pushed him away and said

“What a fu*k are you doing man, she is with me, back off”

“You can hug her, why couldn’t I, bro?” Liam said with hiccoughs. They started pushing each other and before they could start fighting, our team leader Luke who had higher positions than Tim, separated them quickly and since Liam didn’t want to stop he took him outside to calm him down. I wanted to disappear at that moment, everybody were watching us. Tim tried to tell Tyler to sit and calm down but he was totally wasted. I asked him hundred times to let’s go home, finally he agreed.

    He was furious about the incident with Liam and of course he was blaming me.

“Nina why you needed to play the bi**h in the front of the people , your c**t is itching or what?... you sl*t..” He barked at me, he couldn’t talk properly. “You embarrassed me, are you happy now? Stupid bi**h!!” He continued angrily. I didn’t want to say a word , I didn’t want him to be more angry. We just arrived home, we went inside or tried.. it was not easy cause Tyler couldn’t walk straight. Inside he started shouting how big of a bi**h I am and I am fat and ugly. He was very angry, I was afraid of him and run into the bathroom locking the door behind me when he was more furious. That angered him more and he shouted

“Come out you fat bi**h now, I will kill you.” He was hitting he door repeatedly. 

“God help me” ..I was whispering while my tears were falling down on my cheeks. I was terrified, I didn’t dare to open the door, but I didn’t want him to get more angry either.

“Please stop it and calm down, I didn’t do anything” I said. The door had a small window on it. Before I could open it for him, he hit a hole into the door and its glass broke into tiny pieces. I felt the shard of glasses flying into my face, fortunately I didn’t get hurt that much just a few scratches.

    Tyler looked taken aback because of the broken glass, he was still angry but thank God he didn’t hurt me when I opened the door finally, but he didn’t care about me either. He just started to clean up the mess angrily. I tried to help him since he was tottering but when he hit me with the broom, I didn’t want to get in his way anymore. Finally he went smoking and I tried to sleep as fast as possible. I was tired, but not only physically. I was sad and heartbroken. How he can be like this, how he can say things like that to me when I didn’t do s**t? Why I need to deal with this? Why? I just want a peaceful life with my family, too much to ask for? I was crying silently under the blanket. Noah was with Elena luckily , so he wasn’t here to see this. I thought that everything will be okay when we came back to Nederland, but I was wrong.... so wrong. I don’t know what to do now, I don’t want to live like this. I am just 22 years old and these are what I have to go through. What’s gonna come next? I don’t even dare to think about it but I will try to be positive. Everything will be alright , he´s gonna learn from his mistakes, maybe this will open his eyes and he will see what he was doing with our family, I hope.  

    The next day Tyler was apologising, he said 

“I’m so sorry, I got jealous and I drank too much, it’s not gonna happen again, I’m not gonna drink so much like that anymore, I promise sweetie.” ... hm....the same ... “sorry” I thought , how many times I heard that, ´Not gonna happen again´.. well.. it did, it always does. Anytime when we are fighting it hurts me because he wound me with his words ´Don’t eat to much you are already fat´ or ´You are ugly when you are crying, you know that?´ and then he comes to me and says sorry later when he calms down. I always forgive him and try to forget about his words but they’re keep repeating in my head. I always tell him to stop talking like this to me because one day I will have enough and I will leave him, but he never cared at the moment and carried on. That’s why I am not confident and not satisfied with myself, if you hear this all the time, after a while you´re gonna believe it.

    It has been a week and Tim was really nice to me in the work, he helped me to learn everything what I needed to know and always tried to make jokes to lift my mood. He didn't ask anything but I think he knew something was wrong. I was a little depressed but I liked my job and Tim was a good guy and funny too. I noticed he liked my company, as much as I liked his. He use to make me laugh how he was joking with the guys. I noticed he was always staring when I was laughing. I was a little bothered by it I didn’t know why though. I used to guys looking at me and it was never affecting me like this. I always became nervous around him, I wonder if it´s because he was our boss... ,maybe.