The Cure to My Scar

Want You Back

2021...

I can't help but keep smiling while walking back to Nini. I still couldn't believe that Doctor Brent became my attending Doctor after some years. I know that coming back to the hospital because of the same reason is not something to be happy about but I just feel so delighted to meet an old acquaintance and see how things changed for the two of you.

"Hey, where did you go? I've been waiting for you!" Nini nagged and I can see through her eyes that she was so worried.

"I'm sorry. I just realized that Doctor Brent was once an apprentice of Prof. Cruz and it's just fascinating that we met again coincidentally." I explained. But Nini raises her brows as if she doesn't buy what I am saying.

"Just to let you know, Doctor Brent is a friend of the Café owner and they own this hospital." I was confused with the too much information that Nini has been spilling. And I wonder how did she learn about these things.

I ignore what I heard and just asked her to go home. I took my stuff and we walked towards the car. And while driving, Nini mentioned that she suddenly crave some ice-cold coffee so we decided to drop by my most favorite café.

Nini took something from the back seat and throws it at me.

"Use that to cover your face or else, the staff might notice you and create some baseless rumors about what happened that day," I smirked at how she cares for me. She never fails to take care of me in every little detail she can.

We are ordering but I was kinda disappointed to see the girl cashier instead of the café owner named Jace. I wonder he was.

"Are you looking for someone?" The friendly barista asked. I almost jump from the shock that he caught me looking around and notice that I am looking for someone.

"H-ha? What do you mean?" I denied though I know my acting is lame.

He smirked as if he knew what's going on in my mind and he just nodded as if he is buying my excuses.

"Here's order ma'am. Enjoy~" The cashier exclaimed.

We were about to leave when the friendly barista said...

"He barely stays here unless he is not busy with his main job. You can text or call him if you want." He said.

And I just smiled forcibly as if I don't care about what he's saying. He waved as he bid goodbye to us while displaying a bright smile on his face.

He is such a goodbye but I didn't know he can be annoying at times like this. Now Nini is looking at me intuitively. I just stare at her blankly as if I don't have anything to say.

"Why do you keep looking for that Jace?" Nin queried as we drive home.

"I just can't stand being indebted to someone. Especially to a man. I want to make things even but I don't know how." I explained.

"I thought you said he is conceited. So why bother returning the favor when he insults you that way?" Nini commented.

She's right. He said that I made a commotion when he barely knew what's the real reason behind everything. On that note, he's unlikeable.

After a few minutes, we finally came home and I was surprised to see my mom walked hurriedly towards me and hugged me tightly. I looked at Nini and mouthed what happened but she just shrugged her shoulder, acting innocent.

"Are you okay? Are you hurt somewhere? I heard you fainted??" Mom asked in a panic. I don't know which one to answer first.

"Mom, I'm okay now. Sorry for worrying you. I was careless. I thought I'm okay but I guess I'm not." I scratched the back of my head as I smiled forcibly to lessen her worries.

She hugged me back again that I almost suffocate from that tight hug.

"Let's eat. I bet you famished after eating the hospital food." Dad suddenly popped out from the kitchen while bringing my favorite dish, paksiw na pata.

Mom finally let me go and invited Nini to eat with us. It's been a long time since the last time we eat all together. I always eat alone in my pad as I was so busy writing my novel.

"Don't overwork yourself too much. Don't let Nini push you to your limit." Dad joked and Nini giggles as she understands what he means.

"I was saying that she has to take some time off after all the sleepless nights she spent while writing her best-seller novel but I think Chloe Chase takes after you. She is so workaholic."

"You think so?"

We all laugh together as we enjoy our dinner. But after a few hours, mom and dad bid goodbye as they saw that I'm totally fine now. It's just me and Nini, as always.

"Hey, let me have your phone," Nini demanded. And so I give it to her without asking any question.

"There you go." She said as she returns my phone.

"What's this app for?" I queried as I checked what did she do on my phone.

"A dating app. If you can't date someone personally, then maybe you can start by doing it virtually." She suggested.

I was dumbfounded by her suggestion. Does that even make sense? Why would start something when you know it won't work out the way you want it?

"I know that look in your eyes. You are dissing me at the back of your mind, saying that this idea is absurd. But I'll send you a link regarding the article I've read about haphephobia and how they miraculously overcome this fear. Who knows right?" Nini said, using her convincing power to me.

I checked the link she has sent me about this woman who suffers from haphephobia for almost half a decade. She starts using a dating app to communicate with guys to make herself get used to talking and doing facetime with them so she'll get rid of the anxiousness of dealing with guys.

One day, she met this one guy, and eventually, she just find herself confiding everything about herself. And that guy accepted her wholeheartedly. Then as time goes by, they decided to meet personally and do real dating. As she learns to give her full trust in him, they begin to try doing some skinship.

They started with a handshake and at first, she had a panic attack. But she never gave up and the guy never gave up on her two. They work on it together until they finally make it. They had their first-ever holding hands in three seconds until the woman get used to it.

They moved little by little until she just find herself getting comfortable doing skinship with the person she loves the most. And miraculously, she is now bearing her second child.

That was an inspiring story, indeed. But I'm not sure if I can be courageous as her. I mean, I give it a try but the next time I open my eyes, I was in the hospital. I'm not sure if the miracle she had would work for me, too.

"What's with the deep thought? Spill it out." Nini pulled me back to reality.

"Hmm. It was inspirational, indeed. But her case is special. I doubt it would work for me too." I said nonchalantly.

"You wouldn't unless you try. Besides, it's just an app Chloe Chase. There's no harm in trying. If things won't work, then so be it. You won't lose anything aside from the time you invest in trying." She said in a matter-of-fact tone.

I took a deep breath as she slowly convinces me. She's right. There's nothing wrong with trying. Besides, I have lots of time since I'm on a vacation.

"Alright, alright. I'll think about it. But for now, let me enjoy my freedom from deadlines and another schedule. Let me set my schedule." I said. And Nini raised her thumb as she feels delighted that I am considering it.

We were enjoying our tea time when my phone suddenly vibrates. I saw a notification on my personal Insta* account and I dropped my phone as I read the message.

Nini looked at me worriedly and she immediately picked up my phone to check what's on it. Her brows furrowed as she was furious reading the message. It's been three years since the last time I saw him. I never heard about him until that day. I don't know how did he manage to find my account but one thing's for sure, hearing from him will never be good news.

Nini tapped on my phone and put my account to the settings. She showed right into my face the one screen. All I have to do is to press "Yes" and everything will be settled. He will be blocked and will never get the chance to disturb me.

For some reason, I suddenly couldn't catch my breath. I feel like I am slowly suffocating and it feels like my whole body has been frozen. Nini noticed that I am starting to have some panic attacks so she immediately took my bag and brings out my medicine. She gave me one and gave me a glass of water.

I slowly feel better and managed to breathe normally. My eyes are well up as I can still feel the pain he has caused me to the point that just merely reading his name can make me panic this way.

Nini rubs my back gently to comfort me. She took the phone and do whatever she has to do. No need for any permission after witnessing what just have happened.

"Feeling better now?" She asked worriedly and I slowly nodded in response.

"I-I think, I-I should take a rest now."

Nini guided me towards my room and tucked me into my bed. She sat beside me and continue caressing my back to console me.

"Thank you." I know these words will never be enough to express how grateful I am to Nini for everything she has done for me but I can't find the right words to say.

"Forget about what you read and have a well-rested night, okay?" Nini said while looking at me dearly. And I just nodded in response as I close my eyes to get some sleep.

It's been three years since the last time we've seen each other. After leaving the house, I never heard anything about him. I don't know what runs through his mind and he contacted me as nothing happened.

I'm sorry. I want you back, Chloe. -Ethan

For some, it will look like an ordinary message from someone who misses you so much but after what I've gone through with him, this sounds creepy that it triggers my symptoms. This sounds like a perpetrator who wants to grab his victim back. Where did he get the nerves to send me a message after what he has done to me?

The physical wounds I've incurred during those darkest days of my life may have healed but the emotional scar is still there. And I'm not even sure if this will heal and when will that be possible.

But one thing's for sure, I will never have you back like the way you wanted me to, Ethan.