The Cure to My Scar

Not Your Typical Cassanova

MAY 2014...

My head is spinning and my eyes feel so heavy, I can barely open them up. The sleepyhead within me is holding me up from staying out of my bed. I reached out for my phone on the side table and checked what time is it. I still have an hour before noon so I can still have more sleep. Maybe I'll have my lunch a little bit later.

I closed my eyes once again to take a good nap but before I can fall asleep, a loud noise from outside woke me up. I think it's another broken glass or maybe a plate. Whatever it may be, I'm pretty sure it's all because of their daily routine --- arguing over and over again because of the same issue. They never get tired of fighting over and over again when they already knew how to end things out. I don't what's holding them on when they already knew that their case is hopeless, our family is hopeless.

I don't get it why do they have to keep holding on to broken things when they knew that the more they hold on tighter, the deeper the wound they will get.

It's the same old issue, it's exhausting physically, emotionally, and mentally. They kept saving themselves while ruing their kids' life.

Since my sleep is already ruined, I forced myself to get up since I can hear that they are done fighting. I walked out of my room with a heavy stride while rubbing my eyes so I can fully wake up. I look around to see if they are still there but all I found in my mom who's crying while sweeping out all the broken stuff.

"Wear your slippers properly and be careful with the broken pieces." She warned me while wiping her tears as if I didn't know what's going on.

Or maybe she knew what I knew but she's just feigning ignorance as if indirectly telling me not to meddle with the elder's issue. So I just nonchalantly go with the flow.

"Is Hana's home?" Mom just shook her head in response.

Good thing my younger sister is not around. I just hope that she will never witness this daily scenario I've been dealing with all these years. I hope she can grow up in a better environment, unlike this living hell we have right now.

"Sit down and I'll prepare some food for your lunch. Instead, will you pick up Hana from school? The car key is right there." I nodded as I follow her instruction.

Mom gasped from pain while looking at her bleeding finger as she was cleaning the broken glasses. I was about to stand up from my seat to get something for her wound but she look at me intently as if warning me not to do anything. So I just sit back and continue digging on the food in front of me.

After a while, I walked out and go to Hana's school to pick her up. When I arrived, my adorable 3rd-grade little sister is just sitting in the waiting area while watching the other students playing in front of her.

"Hana! Let's go?" I waved my hand to catch her attention and she enthusiastically run towards me. But with that short distance, I can hear her heavy breath as soon as she sits inside the car. But after a while, her breath becomes more stable.

"I know how much you wanted to experience running around and play with your friends but you know that it's not yet possible. Remember?" She moves her head up and down slowly. She looked down as if she is being scolded.

I lifted her chin so we can look at each other at eye level while fastening her seatbelt.

"I'm not scolding you, okay? I'm just reminding you of the consequences of each action you take. I hope you don't get me wrong. Hmm?"

She gradually smiled at me as soon as she can fully understand what I am saying. Fortunately, she is smarter and more mature compared to those of her age. Maybe because we always explain her condition to her. In that way, she can also take care of herself even if we are not always around.

As soon as I arrive, I can see dad's car in the parking. He must be home right now. I took Hana to her room and told her not to go out of the room unless mom or I will come into her room. She politely nodded.

I knocked on my parent's room but all I can hear is a scream from my mom telling my dad to get out of the house.

"Why would I leave when my children are living here with someone like you!" I can hear dad's hoarse voice, maybe because they've been shouting at each other the whole time.

"How dare you use the children as an excuse when you didn't even bat an eye when our youngest is in the hospital! You have no right to act like a father because you're not qualified to be one!" My mom talked back.

And the next thing I can hear is another broken stuff thrown inside.

"I'm tired of you. I'm tired of everything. Get out of my life and do me a favor! Never get back again in our lives! Just live with your mistress and forget about your children. I can raise them properly as I always do even if you're not around!" My mom screamed out on top of her lungs and walked out of the room.

As soon as she opens the door, she was shocked to see me standing right there. And Dad was rubbing his face abruptly as soon as our eyes met. They both looked shocked as if I never saw them acting this way.

"J-Jace... what are you doing there?" Mom tried to pull herself while her face looked so messed up with those tears on her face.

I don't know what to say and all I can do is to stare at her then at my dad. They were both dumbfounded seeing me right there.

"Jace..." Dad was about to explain himself but I immediately turned my back at him.

I wanna say that I knew about everything and that they don't have to explain anything because I'm old enough to know what's going on but still, I find it hard to bring myself saying those words out loud. I've been living quietly and distant so being expressive will always be challenging to me.

Besides, explaining things to me will never change anything. My dad has been caught cheating three times in my whole existence so I doubt he'll ever change for the better.

"Hana is in her room. So, please refrain from shouting. We don't want her back to the hospital. Right?" I warned them and walked towards my room.

I checked my phone and see a lot of text messages and chats. I browse them all but they are all from random girls at the bar. Random girls from random bars in each random night. My alter ego that nobody knows about. The alter ego that comes out as soon as the moon conquers the sky on Friday nights and weekends.

I took a shower and prepares to enjoy the night away but I saw my mom drinking a glass of wine while staring blankly.

I walk towards her and she immediately noticed me approaching. She throws her palm in the air as if telling me to stop right where I am standing and so I did.

"Just go to where you're about to go and don't ask about anything. Maybe not tonight. I don't wanna ruin your mood. I want you to have a blast for tonight and forget about what you heard." She said.

I chuckled at what she has told me.

As if hearing them arguing each day can ruin my mood even more. I am so used to it that it didn't bother me anymore. I think the day will be empty without broken pieces and screams from fighting.

I am parking the car when I receive a call from my friend that they are already inside the bar. I was about to go upstairs where we usually sit when a girl blocks my way as if she dropped her purse unintentionally. She picks it up while exposing her hips right in front of me intentionally.

"Oops... sorry." She looked at me as if she didn't notice me at all. I smirked and just go on my way. She gasped at how I nonchalantly ignored the hints she's been throwing. You throw the bait to the wrong fish, missy.

I walked towards the table where my friends were sitting and they were all praising and teasing me for starting the night with a bang. Witnessing how girls initiate to go after me and easily discard their usual bait in the game called seducing.

"Why did you ignore such gorgeous?" Brent asked.

"That's the problem why girls never sought after you. You always show all the cards you have when somebody shows a little attention to you." Jeff commented.

"Ignore to capture. That's Jace's motto when it comes to dealing with girls. Ignoring them when they knew how gorgeous they are may hurt their ego but they will surely want you even more. And when they turn their back on him, he will chase them the way they wanted it to be. That push and pull game is Jace's forte." Jeff added.

And I just laugh inwardly as I hear them talking about girls and how I deal with them.

The waitress served more drinks and she winked at me before she leaves. Everyone was shouting as they witness what just happened.

"Two down, more to gooo~" And we all clink the bottles in the air.

"I guess Jace is not your typical Cassanova. He can easily attract girls when he barely does anything." And everyone laughed out loud at Brent's comment.

Not your typical Cassanova, indeed.