Fragile Happiness (MxM)

Life Goes On (1)

Chapter 19: Life Goes On (1)

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Ever since I lost that job and Kane… I haven’t felt the same, I really did like my life before and now I was just thrown aside like this.

It’s all my fault however, because I wasn’t appreciative of the things I had then and there… because I didn’t force myself to overcome my mysophobia at an earlier age… It’s no one else’s fault but my own. And I’ll accept that because I had long before resolved myself to continue living…

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Of course even though that chapter of my life ended I still continued to live. I was determined to continue surviving in this dirty world despite my circumstances…

After a month or so I managed to pick myself up and I started another job. It was about time, since my saving weren’t going to hold me off for more than several months.

Since books were the only thing I was good at and knew how to do, I got a job as a writer from home. I no longer had to meet with other people nor go outside unless it was absolutely necessary.

The writing job was simple enough, after several months of doing that I moved to writing my own book. I secretly had always wanted to do that but couldn’t because I was focusing my entire attention on work as an editor.

I’d like to say that I’m living a better life now than I was before but that would be a lie…

The year ended just like that as I continued to work from the comfort of my own home, all alone…

I moved out from my old apartment and moved into a completely new one. I stayed inside all day, avoiding people outside and anything dirty.

With time I became completely imprisoned in my own home. I had cleaned everything to perfection and nobody had entered my apartment since.

I don’t go outside for anything unless it’s completely necessary. I spend every second at home, not interacting with anyone, just alone.

At some point I had started living less and less as a human being.

All I ever wanted was to have a normal life but I never really put in the effort to make it one… So I ended up getting what I deserve with the life I’m leading right now. Completely isolated from others… Alone… There is no one I care for, nor others that would care for me…

I don’t even know if you could call this ‘living’.

The more time passed by, the more boring my daily life had become. I forget… Did I mention my name anywhere throughout this story?

I’m Lois Petterson, currently 29 years old, I’m a writer that spent his life not really fully understanding anything.

It’s already been two years since all of that happened… Losing the one person I’d fallen in love with was harder than I thought it would be. But as they say time heals all wounds…

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I stoop up from my chair and closed my laptop. I was already tired from writing all day. Not to mention there were two trash bags right outside my apartment that I had to throw out today…

I went to the window, to see what the weather was and as I gazed at the scenery I felt like nothing had changed. The world was just as dirty as it always was…

I didn’t feel like going outside but I didn’t have much of a choice unless I wanted to block my front door with trash bags. So I reluctantly stood up and went to throw them away.

One of the nastier things about the apartment complex I'm in, is that there is no trash container on the street outside the building. So I have to walk an entire block away to the nearest one.

I decided to go to the convenience store that was just down the street, since I was outside anyways…

Along the way to the store I saw happy couples and families walking around. It was still the middle of the day, there was a warm breeze that threatened to blow me away.

I had lost a significant amount of weight, but then yet I’d always had trouble with gaining weight so it came as no surprise. I decided to buy and make more food than usual today to at least try and put some meat on my bones.

I went to the store then quickly back home as if I hadn’t been outside at all. At my doorstep I took off my clothes and left them for washing. Then I showered once again. My germophobic tendencies had only gotten worse throughout the years, not better. Then yet I still refused to change myself. After all I had no one and nothing to change for…

I showered, cooked, ate my food and then I went to sleep. A really uneventful day, just like any other I’d had for the past two years…