My Abusive Alpha Mate

Dear Diary, I don't even know why I'm doing this, if he finds this then I'm dead. Who am I kidding? He doesn't care about me so I'm probably dead anyway. I just don't understand how we got to this. It was perfect for the first month. ----Flashback---- "You ready babe?" Sebastian asked. I nodded. We were introducing me to the pack today, and I was super nervous. What if they didn't like me? What would I do? How would I act? How am I going to be a Luna? "Babe, calm down. I can hear your thoughts, remember? You are going to do fine." I nodded and we made our way on stage. Sebastian cleared his throat into the microphone to get everyone else's attention. "Hello everyone, I would like to welcome and thank you all for coming today. As you all know by now I have found my mate." He paused and let the crowd erupt in very generous applause. "She is your Luna, and if anyone disrespects her it will be the last thing you do. I want you to treat her as you do me. Thank you. Now your Luna would like to say a few things." I stepped up to the microphone. "Um, hi. I am Zoey Ember, and I am so happy to be here. I know that sounds kinda cliche, but I really want to get to know each of you individually and want to be here if any of you need me. I also would love to help out at any events that you all would let me. Thank you so much for your generous welcome!" They erupted once more as we made our way off of stage. We stayed a little longer and mingled. I set up some dates with some of the women there. I was getting very excited. Sebastian pulled me closer to him and kissed my temple. "Let's go home, my queen." ----End of flashback---- I heard a knock on my door. Yeah, me and Sebastian now have separate rooms. He said that he needs more personal space, and then he will bring in his flings. "Yes?" One of my guards poked his head in. "Alpha says that you need to be done with dinner in an hour. And to make extra because a 'guest' of his is coming over. Robert was the only one who knew about Sebastian's flings. He was always there for me. He hated Sebastian for putting me through all of this, but Sebastian is Alpha and he is loyal to his Alpha. "Of course, I will be right down." He nodded and shut the door. Robert was a recent thing, just to make sure I don't tell anyone anything or do anything stupid, as he puts it. I finished my thoughts on the paper, then went to cook my mate and his girlfriend some dinner. Everyone must be thinking 'why not just run away?'. Well, I can't. After we completed the mating process we became tied, so leaving him would become so painful that I could die. Mom and Dad went through it, but because mom was constantly fed wolfsbane than she wasn't hurting physically. I decided to make him some spaghetti, he loves it. After making that I made some boneless fried chicken and added it. It may sound gross, but it is amazing and it is his favorite dish. I heard footsteps and hurried to neatly put his and her meal in their respective spots on the table. Him at the head and her at his right. The Luna is supposed to sit there, but he said that I don't deserve it. I stood far off to the side and showed my neck in submission. He came and inspected everything, it was silent. I hated when he was quiet, it was never good for me. "You didn't do too badly this time girl." My heart broke more, I have been reduced to no name now, I guess. "Thank you, Alpha." "I hope you didn't set this plate for you. You know that is not where pieces of trash like you belong." "No Alpha, I was told to set an extra portion out, because you had a guest coming over." "Good girl. Why is there no place for you?" I could hear a smirk in his voice. There was only one answer he wanted to hear. "Because pieces of trash like me don't belong at a table with others, or while you are there." "Very good. Run along you can have a little bit of dinner tonight. But, if I find out you took more then your portion or had what you shouldn't then you will be in big trouble." I nodded my head. But quickly knew that was a mistake. He yanked my head up by my hair. "What was that?" "Yes, Alpha." "You're lucky I don't have time for you today." "Thank you, Alpha." He released me with a shove. I can't believe this is what my life has been reduced to.