Chapter 2: Alexander Ivey
1378 Words
Depression. Insanity. No control. That's what I deal with on a daily basis. My life has been f****d since the moment I was born. I don't know how I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder, but I was.
My alpha, Matthew, made me take medicine for it when I told him. I only told him because he was my alpha. I was putting my life and the people I love's lives in danger. I needed to tell him.
He took me to a doctor who prescribed me with Lithium, which stopped manic episodes of bipolar disorder. My family found out when I started to act normal. I acted like I wasn't mad all the time, like I didn't hate the world anymore.
That medicine saved me. It saved me from a life where I was terrified that I would hurt my mate when I found him. But now.. when I find him, he's going to accept me for who I am because I accepted help.
I don't know where he is now, but he's out there. He's out there and he's waiting for me. Maybe he's not even a wolf and doesn't know about mates, but he's still waiting.
I need a man that will accept me for who I am and put up with my bad days. Be able to calm me down without showing me too much affection. I hated affection. Having someone's hands on me justkilled me inside and I don't have a filter either.
I just blurt outthe first thing I think. It sucks at times, but at least I'm notlabeled as a liar in my life. If someone touches me, I make it knownthat I don't like it. Usually in a harsh way.
I have a big sisternamed Izzy. We are kinda've the same, you could say. She's harsh, butshe can also be sweet. She's named after my parents' best friend, Isaac. That's a whole other book to read.
My parents were Cody and Melissa Ivey. My dad used to be the beta of my pack, White Water. He passed the position to me, so I'm the new beta alongside my best friend Matthew, who is the alpha with his mate Jack.
"Hey, Alex, what'd you get? You said you were going to the mall." Matt asked,walking alongside me.
"I didn't get anything. Just walked around. I went into Pacsun and the cashier was sorta cute."
"Any sparks?"
"I don't know,man. I didn't really get to see his eyes. He didn't seem like he wanted to be there."
"Working at Pacsun? Yeah, I wouldn't want to be there either."
I chuckled and he followed me into my house. I said hi to my parents before going up to my room. Matt and I sat on my bed and started playing video games.
"No one's caught your eye, man? No sparks? Nothing?" Matt asked. He was asking about my mate.
"Nothing really. Do you really have to look into their eyes to know if they're your mate?"
"I think so, but I don't really like to question the whole mating thing. It could be the eyes, the sound of the voice, or the touch."
"So I could walk by my mate at any point during the day and not know because I didn't look into his eyes or hear his voice or touch him?" I questioned.
"I don't know,man." Matt said.
I sighed. Matt paused the game and turned towards me on the bed. "What's up?" I asked.
"We have some pack stuff to discuss."
"Like what?"
"Do you know Jamie Nance?"
I thought for a second. "I think I've heard the name, but I've never seen him before."
"He hasn't shown up to a single meeting since we've taken charge of the pack."
"Does he have a reason?" I asked.
"Yeah, he has to work. He's apologized to me thousands of times, but he doesn't come to any. What should we do?"
"What was his last name again?"
"Nance."
I nodded. "Oh, yeah. Mr. Nance died in a car accident by a drunk driver about a year ago. That's probably why he has to work so much. His mom only has a job at a.. restaurant, I think."
He gave me a confused look. "I thought you didn't know who Jamie was?"
"Oh, I don't. I was talking to Dr. Moore a couple months ago and he told me about Mr. Nance. He said that telling his family was the worstthing he's ever done. The son, Jamie I presume, looked so heartbroken and he was scared to even say something to his mom to make anything worse."
"Oh, okay. I've barely talked to Jamie, but I've heard that he's very flamboyant and super popular." Matt shrugged.
"Well, I've never met the kid."
"I won't make a big deal about him not coming to meetings then. That must be really hard for him."
I nodded, playingaround with an index card that was on my nightstand. "Okay, cool."
"Alright, well, I'll see you soon. Jack and I have dinner."
"Have fun." I said as he left my house. I laid back on my bed and sighed. I want to find my mate, I do, but what if he's like this Jamie kid?
What if he's super flamboyant and girly? I don't think I would enjoy being with a manlike that. I want a tough guy that doesn't like affection, except with intimacy.
"Hey, Alex." Someone said in my doorway.
I looked up and saw my mom. I sat up and smiled at her. "Hey, Mom."
"Everything okay?" She asked, sitting in front of me on the bed.
"Yeah, yeah, just thinking about some personal stuff."
"What kind of personal stuff? I can help, if you need."
I sighed. "I'm thinking about my mate. I'm just really worried at who I'll end up with."
"What do you mean?"
"Don't judge me for what I'm about to say." I whispered.
"I won't." She promised with a smile.
"I just don't want a guy who is flamboyant and girly and likes affection."
She sighed, taking my hand in hers and I decided not to make a big deal about it. "If your mate is flamboyant or anything like that, you will still love him. You'll learn that when you meet him."
I nodded. "Right, right. I just don't know what's going on anymore. I haven't met my mate and I'm super worried about it."
"I know, baby." She said and kissed my forehead.
"Love you, Mom."
"I love you too."
"Hey, Alex!" Someone said. I turned around and saw Jack walking up to me.
"Hey, Jack, how are you?"
"I'm great!"
"How was your dinner last night with Matt?" I asked, stuffing my phone in my pocket.
"It was good, he talked to me about the conversation he had with you before he came and met me."
My eyes widened and he closed his eyes. He slammed his head into his hands and I chuckled.
"Sorry! I hope that's okay."
"It's okay, Alpha. What'd Matt tell you?"
"He told me that you're sorta've worried about not finding your mate. You're scared that you won't find him because you don't look into eyes usually, right?"
"Yeah, yeah, I guess that's it."
"Well, don't worry. You're going to find the man of your dreams soon and I cannot wait to meet the lucky man."
"That's what everyone says. 'You'll find him soon', but will I? Can you guarantee that I will? That in about two years, I will find him?"
"Okay, I can't guarantee it, but don't worry. Independence can be good. It gives you more time to think on what you will do when you find your mate. That's how I was before Matt."
"I need to get out of here." I whispered.
"What? Like leave the pack?" He asked with a scared look on his face.
"No, no, no. I just need to get out for a little bit. Walk around. Any ideas?" Iasked him.
"There's this really cute record store. They have CDs and vintage magazines and some band shirts. I love it."
"Yeah, okay. Where's it at?" I asked.
He gave me the address and I got in my car, making my way to the record store.
- Writer
