Seasons of Chances and Love 1: Classic Love In Spring

Don't Go Away

CHAPTER 7

Going out of the classroom was surely easy. Looking for him was also since since he stood out from the rest of the male students who were currently on that floor. But approaching Tezuka with all the intention to clear up some misunderstanding had never been this hard at all. Kazumi's heart was pounding wildly, hammering inside her chest like crazy. But the way her heart pounded now wasn't exactly a good feeling at all. In fact, she felt something foreboding the moment she saw him turn around and walked away from her classroom.

She didn't know the reason why she felt something like that. But Kazumi chose not to pay attention to it as of now. She knew where his classroom was and so he headed there. And just as she expected, she saw him about to enter the classroom.

"Kunimitsu!" she called out in a moderate tone, just loud enough for him to probably hear.

Tezuka stopped to his tracks but didn't even throw at least a glance at her. Of course, she was hurt with that.

With a heavy sigh, she stepped towards Tezuka as she tried to gather what little courage she had left in her. "C-can we talk... please?" Those words came out slightly cracking from her lips. Her voice was starting to quiver, as well. But she has to stand firm. She has to.

"Just meet me there after school. I already said that, right?" he said after a few moments of tensed silence.

"But I can't wait till after school, okay?! I need to fix this before I... I..." But no more words wanted to come out after that sudden outburst. "Please... Please listen to me. I'm only asking that from you." Her words almost seemed like begging to Tezuka. But with the situation she was currently dealing with, she definitely needed to beg. She just had the urge to do so.

But all that greeted her once again was Tezuka's indifference and his inability to look at her in the eyes. Why was he like this?

"We'll just meet later. Right now, I need some time to think things through. I hope you... understand that," Tezuka said in a soft tone.

But that was not what had made her frown a bit. It was his voice that has a twinge of hurt. Knowing that he was serious about this, she just smiled-albeit a painful and sad one that Tezuka didn't miss.-and nodded slowly before she turned her back away and left him standing there.

However, doing so only made her remember the night she lost Tezuka more than two years ago. Only this time, she was the one who was walking away from him. She didn't want to, but she felt like the past was about to repeat itself because of this.

-x-x-

All Tezuka could do was to look down as he heaved a sigh so heavy it felt like he was lifting the world on his shoulders. He didn't mean to shove off Kazumi like that even though she was begging-ar at least that was how it sounded when she spoke those words-to talk to him. But he wasn't lying when he said he needed time to think things through. He needed all the time to do so before he could finally face Kazumi.

But saying that felt like it was a mistake, especially when he saw the hurt in her eyes and the pained smile on her lips. He felt his heart being gripped tight and wrung it hard that his strength and his life was slowly drained from him. Of all things he wanted to do, hurting Kazumi in any way at all wasn't a part of it. And yet he couldn't believe he just did that.

Maybe... Maybe all he could bring to her life was pain and more hurt.

Maybe Miyako was right.

Maybe he wasn't the right person who could stop Kazumi from feeling so much pain. But he couldn't find it in him to let her go at all-just like what he wrote to the letter almost a month ago. Call him selfish for it but he really felt it that way. There was no way he would let go of one of the few people who could make him happy for a long time. He won't let go of Kazumi ever.

But as he kept on remembering what Miyako had said to him a while ago, he was then starting to doubt himself if he could still hold on to that resolve till the end...

-Flashback-

With a cold exterior and blank silver eyes, Miyako started walking away from the girl who said those nasty words to Kazumi. To be honest, Tezuka had the strong urge to hurt that girl and he has the ability to do so. But from the start, it wasn't in his moral code. And he was not raised to hurt anyone (in a physical sense) so he controlled his anger and chose not to do anything.

But not doing anything turned out to be a wrong move. Or at least, that was how Miyako viewed it.

And now the said girl was approaching him. Yes, he could tell that because she was staring at him despite those blank eyes that were still fierce and strong enough for him to feel a different type of coldness from her. He never saw Miyako like this, not even once. But then he realized that he didn't really know Miyako at all except for the fact that she was a tennis player even during middle school and that she was Kana's childhood friend, as well.

Miyako stopped beside him and without looking at him, she spoke in the softest tone possible but still loud enough for him to hear.

"To be honest, I don't know what to do with you. How could you let this happen? You had the chance a while back to help Kazumi, to defend her from those jerks. Yet all you did here was to stand outside the classroom and listen to those girls say something to your girlfriend who was obviously hurt and numb from all this. I thought you love her. I thought you wouldn't let anything else hurt her in any way at all. But what are you doing now?" Miyako paused and heaved a sigh. "You know what? If you don't do anything to end this, I think it's better that you end every connection you had with Kazumi. Don't put her in a situation where she had to get hurt again. If you really love her that much, do something before I push you away from her. Don't think I'm joking because I have to tell you, I meant every word I said. Fix this if you don't want to lose Kazumi again..."

And with that, Miyako left his side. He heard the door slide open and close but he just chose not to pay attention to it.

-End of flashback-

From the way Miyako had spoken those words, he could tell that she was provoking him to do something-to end this commotion before Kazumi would get hurt even further. And if nothing was done... He shook his head slightly to shove off those unpleasant thoughts of "what if's" from his mind. He couldn't lose Kazumi in any way at all. And if ever he lost her for the second time, life wouldn't be the something Tezuka would anticipate to live for. He didn't want to isolate himself from the rest of the world again. Or at least, he didn't want to isolate his heart for that matter.

"Tezuka, class is starting," Oishi reminded the stoic man despite the worries he felt for his teammate. At the very least, he knew what Tezuka was feeling at the moment but he didn't have the energy to say it straight to his face.

With one look towards the direction that Kazumi headed, Tezuka heaved a sigh and went inside the room. He didn't want to feel this excruciating hurt and guilt any longer knowing he had somehow hurt her because of not obliging to her wish to talk to him. In addition to that, he has to do something to end whatever he was feeling right now because of that picture. Just remembering that picture even though he just had a single glimpse of it made his blood boil somehow. His fist tightened even more as his lips were pressed into a thin line (though it was indiscernable) because of unexplained fury inside of him just wanting to come out.

It was a good thing he has good control over his emotions. He had that ability for so many years now. That ability enabled him to hide the truth about what he really felt over so many things. Right now, he has to put a good use of that ability just until lunch time.

He would end this as soon as she could.

-x-x-

But when lunch time finally came, Tezuka realized that his resolve to end it would shatter in front of him as a news reached him the moment Eiji entered the room.

"Nya! Tezuka, Miyuzaki-chan said that Hondou-chan went missing after she went out of their room two hours ago!" Eiji was in a frantic mode that it didn't came late to Tezuka what could it have possibly meant, even though the words that fully registered in his mind were only Kazumi's last name and the word "missing". Of course, the rest of them were surprised to hear that.

Without a word, he bolted out of the room and headed straight to Kazumi's classroom with his heart pounding in his chest loudly. He ignored his friends calling out his name. All that mattered to him was to know if Kazumi really went missing and where could she possibly go at this moment. As he continued to run in order to reach the room to know the truth, his mind kept on wishing for one thing...

...over and over.

Don't leave me again, Kazumi. Please don't go away...

But a strong wish like his seemed to be something that wouldn't come true. He found that out the moment he reached his destination. Class 1-3, Kazumi's classroom.

"She's not here," was all the words he heard from a distraught Hanako before he turned around and took off again.

Classes could wait but Kazumi and her explanation couldn't. He has to find her before he ended up with another regret and hurt that would haunt him surely for the rest of his life.

As he reached the school gate, however, he halted to a stop upon immediately seeing a familiar figure leaning on that wall. But that figure didn't belong to Kazumi, though.

It belonged to the person that has become the reason for this commotion to start. But he could be the victim of the circumstances, as well. That person was Hyotei's tensai-Oshitari Yuushi.

"What are you doing here?" he asked coldly, without a care if he could still control his emotions in front of this guy.

To his surprise, Oshitari's usual expression didn't appear. In fact, the Hyotei's tensai's face was serious-too serious, for that matter.

"I need to talk to you."