Seasons of Chances and Love 1: Classic Love In Spring

CHAPTER 1 "Welcome back to Japan, Kazumi-sama," a portly middle-aged woman greeted Kazumi with a smile as she opened the door of that house—or should she say a house turned into a memorial hall after my grandfather died eight years ago—after I did a few knocking. I only smiled a little wide when I heard her gladness to see my finally returning to my hometown. Oh well. At least someone was glad to see me. That's right. I went away from my hometown for two years. Those two years, however, only intensified the feeling of loss that I had when the person important to me disappeared from my life completely. I didn't run away. But still, it didn't change the fact that I hurt him when I decided to leave. I was hurt, too. But then I guess he would never know that at all. Love comes, love goes, But a sudden feeling never lets me be "Are you going to stay here in Japan permanently, Kazumi-sama?" "Maybe. I can't really tell since being a pianist is already my profession even though I just graduated from middle school. But I'll study here until I graduated high school. Dad want me to finish schooling here in my hometown, after all," I answered before looking around the house. I smiled when I realized that there haven't been any changes done in that house. Somehow, I know, Quite a part of me isn't changed since you've been gone Though I have to admit, that realization alone made me remember a lot of memories with him in it. After all, that house held moments that I knew I would forever treasure here in my heart. Weird, right? But for me, it wasn't weird at all. This house held too much memories that only I could probably remember now. "Would it be okay if I roam around the house for a bit before I go home?" The woman nodded and proceeded to go somewhere. And just like what I said, I roamed the house. But I didn't have any plans of roaming the entire house. There was only one place I would like to go—a place where I could probably convey my message to him even though I knew he wouldn't hear me at all. Like a sturdy tree that's seen a thousand seasons I've to she'd my leaves in winter And grow them back in spring I went up to the second floor of the house. My feet seemed to have a mind on its own as it led me to a certain room familiar to me. My grandfather's piano room. My grandfather Hondou Renji was a renowned pianist during his time. Eight years ago, he died of lung cancer. Because of his fame and his contributions to the music industry, his house was turned into a memorial hall. Even though I was really young when he died, I knew and I could feel that he loved me so much. My talent as a pianist was already a proof of that. When I reached the piano room, I just stopped in front of it. I didn't move an inch. I couldn't tell why. I just wanted to see the piano room but why couldn't my body let me do so? As I closed my eyes and leaned my forehead on the piano room's closed door, a memory started rushing in my mind. A memory that started all my dreams when I was in elementary... To welcome life again To welcome you -x-x- "Mama, what was Ojii-chan like when he was still alive? Of course, besides that fact that he's a really good pianist," I asked while going to the piano room that my granfather used to stay and play his favorite classical songs. But before my mother could answer, I saw a boy standing outside the piano room while looking at the grand piano inside. I could tell that since he was facing straight / heads on, not sidewards. The piano—from what I could tell from his position—was just on the line of his sight. That piano room was already open for the guests but this boy wasn't even moving from his spot. Was he scared? Then I faced my mother. "Mama, can I talk to him for a while? I think he's scared to enter the piano room," I said as I pointed at the brown-haired boy. "I think you should. I don't want the others to believe that a ghost exists in that room," my mother whispered and I smiled before making towards the boy. I didn't know why but I really have this urge inside of my to approach that boy. His hair and his stature made me feel like I was being pulled to him. All those weird feeling because of a boy... Take note, I haven't even seen his face yet. And yet... I was already standing behind the boy without me knowing it. Did I walk towards him unconsciously? No, that wasn't the reason. I knew it. But how come I couldn't even remember how long I walked towards him? Weird me. "Umm... Do you want to enter the piano room?" I asked since I needed to break the slightly eerie silence surrounding that place. The boy seemed to have been startled when I did that so he turned around and faced me. My eyes slightly widened at the sight of that beautiful dark brown eyes of the boy now looking at me. Wow! I thought his hair was the only thing beautiful about him. Turned out I was wrong. "I can't enter," the boy said that broke my trance (thankfully) before I could even act weirder than what I was doing now. Wait, was being in a trance because of a cute appearance of a boy considered weird? Can't enter? What was that supposed to mean? But I never realized that I uttered those words before I knew it. "I can't enter... because I want to play the piano but I need to ask permission to someone first," he replied with a slight blush on his face while he averted his gaze from me. He looked cute with that expression that I couldn't help but to giggle. This was the first time I saw a blushing boy. "You know, I could let you play the piano but you're not going to use the grand piano in the middle of that room," I suggested with a smile. "We'll use the uprright piano west of the room. By the way, what's your name?" "Tezuka Kunimitsu," he answered. I laid my hand in front of him as I said, "I'm Hondou Kazumi. You can call me Kazumi or Kazu-chan. But never call me in my family name. I hate it when they always connect me to my dead grandfather whom I can't even remember the face. I was only little when he died. Okay?" Though I saw him quite surprised, I also saw that Tezuka managed to recover from that soon enough. "I guess I'll go with Kazu-chan," he said as we shook hands. His hand was soft and has warmth that I haven't felt before. It was weird but... I liked it. After that, we headed inside the piano room and played some classical music using the upright piano I mentioned earlier. That piano was my grandfather's gift to me when I was three years old—hoping that one day I could play it in front of him. It only happened once, though. But my grandfather was really happy to see me play it. And now, I could see Tezuka Kunimitsu happy as we both played it. But never did I realize that this simple meeting would eventually become a reason to change something about my life. And I knew he was going to be a part of it. After that, I learned that he liked playing tennis. There was a tennis court near the memorial hall where he would always practice. Everytime I saw him play there, I would play musical pieces from either Mozart or Chopin. Those music started our friendship, after all. But then time had passed when I realized why I loved playing the piano whenever I see him playing tennis. Weeks... Months... A few years... I have been looking at Tezuka—I call him Kuu as an endearment the same was he called me Kazu-chan—more than usual. We studied at the same school and at the same classroom. Academically, we looked like competing but both of us knew we were not. Only those other students thought we were. But that wasn't the issue here. My heart would flutter and beat crazily fast like ten horses chased me every time I looked at him. I felt like I couldn't breath. I thought it would go on forever—that I won't be able to realize what was going on with me whenever he was beside me and whenever I see him do the things he loved happily. Okay... He might not be showing that he was happy but I knew that he was happy. I could feel it. And one December, I finally figured out the answer. I was in love with him. We were both at our sixth grade that time. I knew we were still young that time but I knew it in my heart—and I knew my heart better than anything. And I could feel that I would never be able to encounter something like this for twice in my life. Only Kuu could make me feel like this. But then a year after that, I needed to freeze everything I feel about him for me to fulfill my dying father's dream for me. We were both attending Seigaku at that time, both of us in our first year but in different classrooms so no one actually knew we were close friends. "Kazu-chan, you don't mean that, do you?" Tezuka asked me one September night. His voice has tinge of disbelief and pain—things I didn't even want to hear from him. He was hurt, I knew it. But what could I possibly do? I couldn't just disappoint my father. Forget the fact that he was dying and all I could do for him was to fulfill his dream for me before he died. But for me to do that, I needed to leave those people important to me. It was the only way... no matter how much it would hurt me in the process. "I mean it, Kuu. I have to leave this place first thing tomorrow morning. And I thought I should let you know about it first before I leave," I said without even looking at him. I couldn't do it, especially now I knew he was hurt. "What about your promise to me? You promised me, didn't you? That you would never leave me and you would stay by my side. You're just going to forget about it?" "NO! I don't have that intention, okay? There's no way I could forget about it. But Kuu, please try to understand. I don't have any choice. I need to do this. I'm—" But then he cut me off. "Don't! Don't you dare say you're sorry!" he suddenly blurted out that surprised me. Then all of a sudden, the atmosphere around us became tensed. I could feel that he was somehow emitting a dangerous aura with hints of frustration and pain. I couldn't help but to feel scared. This was the first time I saw him like this. I was about to approach him when he spoke coldly—cold enough to create an imaginary icicle that stabbed my heart. Yes, the pain I felt in my heart when he spoke coldly was exactly like that. "If you want to leave then I won't stop you. But when you do, don't expect me to wait for you. So it wouldn't be hard for both of us, try to forget everything about me. That way, you won't have a hard time moving on. I'll do the same thing. It would be easier... that way..." Tezuka said coldly. But then as he said it, it was slowly turning from cold as ice to just a pained whisper, especially the last sentence. Without a word, he turned around and left me there in a hurry. I couldn't move. His words froze me on that spot. I was standing there for nearly thirty minutes before I realized that my tears fell... hard. I was hurt to the core of my being. Why? Why did everything between us has to turn to this? I never meant to let it end that way. I just didn't want to disappoint my father because I loved him. But then I guess I succeeded in a way—even if it means I terribly disappointed the one person who captured my heart for the first time and yet in the end, tore it apart to pieces in a single instant... -x-x- So goes, my life Still believe in dreams of having you around My tears incessantly fell even after remembering that. Until now, it still hurt me knowing I disappointed Kuu. That past remained inside of me for the past two years. No one knew that. And no one has to know. When I looked around, that was when I realized where I was. I couldn't believe I entered my grandfather's piano room without me knowing it. I was probably too engorssed in remembering the memory that I didn't know what I was doing. Too bad, memories feed the mind and not the heart Where I want you to be I looked around the room after completely regaining my composure. But I couldn't stop my tears from falling no matter what I do. Every corner of that room reminded me of him and I could see his different expressions that I wanted to see once again—his serious face, his stoic face, his blushing face, his panicking face and most of all, his smiling face which I think you could only see once in a blue moon. And by now, he must have forgotten about me—just like what he said to me two years ago. I sat in front of my grandfather's grand piano and tried playing it. I smiled when I heard the tune coming from it. It looked like the piano was maintained to be in tune after all this time. It was still the same as I remember it. So I ask myself what you've left behind for me To go on each day and live as if I have you once again I wasn't sure what had gotten into me. Before I knew it, my fingers were moving expertly on its own as I play one of Frederic Chopin's pieces on my grandfather's piano (the one entitled Nocturne op. 9 no. 2 in E-flat major). Though I wanted to stop playing, my hand—and most importantly my heart—wouldn't let me do so. There was this voice inside of me saying that I shouldn't stop. This was the only way for me to convey my bottled-up feelings for him, the voice was saying. All this time, I never had a chance to tell him how much I loved him—not just as a friend but more than that. But I guess he would never know that, huh? Even though I returned to the place where we first met, it only made me realize and feel the distance that separated us before had gone even wider than how I used to see it. It made me feel like I would never be able to reach him now. But then, I was still hoping this song would reach him... ...Tezuka Kunimitsu... my Kuu... ...my eternal love... What else is there that's real But all the pain that I feel -x-x- Tezuka halted to a stop upon hearing an extremely familiar classical music being played in that house. When he faced the house after looking around, that was when he realized that his feet led him to the Hondou Renji Memorial Hall. But who could be playing a Chopin piece at this time? The music was undoubtedly beautiful—as beautiful as the brown-haired girl he fell in love with for the first time. But Kazumi didn't know that. He never had a chance to tell her that at all. And now she was gone. It was too late. So let the pain remain Forever in my heart For every throb it brings is one more moment Spent with you But even though it was late, he never gave up. He lied to her two years ago. And that lie was enough for him to suffer. He didn't mean to utter those words to her but he was hurt that she was leaving him that time. He knew she was hurt, too. He just couldn't see it. He was blinded for some reason so he said that it was over and he would forget her. That way, it wouldn't be hard for him to move on. It would be easier that way, he even added. But he completely knew that it was a blatant lie. He never moved on for he couldn't do so. How could he? Kazumi was the very first person who captured his heart and made his life beautiful that he even once thought he was dreaming. Until now, he couldn't forget her and his dream of reuniting with her one day. Their worlds had become wide apart for a long time after she left but he would try to do something to reach her.