Loving A Closeted Werewolf

Chapter 4: Anniversary

Stress warning: suicide

Isaac's POV

I walked into the quarter house where Lila had invited me for dinner. Once she saw me, she hugged me. She knew how hard of a day this was for me. Today is the anniversary of my father's death. It has been four years and it gets harder every year.

Lila had invited all of Joey's friends over for dinner. Kade, Melissa, Cody, Tyler, me, even Oliver. Joey had warned me and told me to sit away from Oliver tonight, which I understood. No one knew how today was a very depressing day, except for Lila and Conner. Since they were alphas when it happened.

My mom had gone to work, cried a little, prayed with me, and then hung out with Ry and Casper. They were having a movie night, which I would join them with when I get home.

We all sat at the table, smiling and laughing, except me. The rejection was getting hard and I was starting to grow tired. Already being depressed has played a big role on this whole thing. Since Oliver and I hadn't mated before he rejected me, it wasn't that bad, but it will be soon.

Conner brought the food out with Lila. I hadn't seen him all night, so he came over and pulled me into a hug.

“You okay?” He asked.

I nodded with a smile. “Yeah, I'm good, thanks.”

“Why wouldn't he be okay?” Joey said. He knew that his parents wouldn't talk to me about the whole mate thing, so that was not why Conner had talked to me and he knew it.

I sighed and Conner sat down next to his mate. I cleared my throat as everyone looked at me, even Oli. He didn't even know today was the day, so he was as confused as everyone else.

“Today.. is the anniversary.. of-of my dad's death. It's been four years.” I said.

Kade's eyes widened and he was about to get up, but I stopped him.

“I'm okay, no need for hugs or anything. I'm okay.” I said, sincerely.

He sat back in his seat and gave me a warm smile. “That's good, Isaac.”

I looked up and met Oliver's eyes. He was staring at me with sad eyes, but when I looked into them.. he turned away and changed his expression.

We started eating, getting into a comfortable conversation. Once it was silent, Melissa spoke up.

“Oliver, why don't you just forgive Isaac?” She blurted. My eyes widened and I set my fork down.

“How is that any of your business?” He snapped.

“It's my business because you're killing one of my best friends, slowly and painfully.”

“He's fine!” He said, standing up and gesturing towards me.

“He puts up a fantastic act, doesn't he?” She asked, standing up with him.

“It's not an act-”

“It is! For his whole life, fake smiles has been his thing! With the whole dep-”

It hit me like a bus that Oliver doesn't know that I'm depressed, so I shot up and slammed my hands on the table, forcefully. It shook everything and I looked up at Melissa with glowing, green eyes. My wolf did not like when people told my deep secrets.

“You can shut the hell up.” I said, staring at her and my voice growing deep because of my wolf.

Cody stood up, standing in front of his mate. “Let's all just calm down.”

I ignored him and looked at Oliver. “Go right f*****g ahead and tell everyone how you really feel about me.”

All eyes fixated on him. “Fine, I will,” I prepared myself for the worst, which is what I needed. “Isaac didn't tell me for over a year. He had a million chances and he didn't tell me. Obviously, he didn't want me to know. I don't want to be with him,” he whispered. “I hate him. I hate him so much that it hurts me. I will never, ever be with that asshole. I can't believe I loved him. I just can't. I can't even stand to look at him now.”

My eyes welled up with tears, not knowing he would say that. I looked up at him and sat down.

“I hate you, Isaac.” He said, then ran out of the quarter house. As soon as the door slammed shut, Tyler followed after him. Everyone, nervously, looked over at me.

“I'm fine.” I whispered.

“Isaac..” Kade said.

A tear slipped down my cheek and I got up. “Thank you for dinner, Mr. and Mrs. Laine. I had an amazing time!”

I slammed the front door shut and ran to the woods. I shed my clothes, setting them against a tree. I felt the tingling as the fur replaced my skin. My feet hit the ground and I shook out my fur. I started running fast like lightening. I zigzagged past trees and fallen branches. I followed the trail, feeling my feet hit the ground made my paws sting. I liked it like that though. I liked going as fast as I could that I only saw blurs around me.

I whizzed past animals and bugs. I ran and ran and ran. I ran from my problems, the people, the tears.

“You can't run from your problems.”

I stopped running when those word rang through my head. The last words I ever heard my dad say. He said them, then left to go speak to Conner. He never came back. He never will come back.

I felt emotions run through me as the words kept running through my head.

“You can't run from your problems.”

Why can't I though? If I run, I clear my head and my thoughts change. I don't have to deal with the people that caused the problems in the first place.

“You can't run from your problems.”

I think I can run from my problems. The people that hurt me can just watch me run away and feel bad.

“You can't run from your problems.”

But.. do I want them to feel bad? Do I want Oliver to feel bad? I'm the one that should feel bad. I hid everything from him for a year. One long year. The longest, but best year of my life. I got to be with the man I love. The best man in the world.

I shouldn't run from him, so I turned around. I ran towards my problems.

Once I got to the tree with my clothes, I shifted back and put them on. I, slowly, walked towards my house. He said he hated me. He really said he hated me. Why the hell should I even give him a chance now? He hurt me in a way that a mate shouldn't hurt their mate.

What is even the point now? Oliver was the reason I was alive. He was the thing keeping me sane. Maybe I just can't be me anymore.

I never told anyone this, but Oliver was the reason I never hurt myself even though I had urges everyday. He was literally keeping me alive.

I opened my front door and my family looked up at me.

“Hey, how was dinner?” Mom asked.

“Good, but I'm really tired, so I'm just gonna go to bed.”

“Okay, goodnight.”

“Night. I love you all.” I said, then left the living room. I locked my door and slid down it. I wrapped my arms around my knees.

“I hate him. I hate him so much that it hurts me. I will never, ever be with that asshole. I can't believe I loved him. I just can't. I can't even stand to look at him now. I hate you, Isaac.”

Hearing the words repeat in my head made me start sobbing. I hid my face in my hands to muffle the sounds. I curled up into a little ball on my floor and sobbed for about an hour.

Once I had the strength, I got off of the floor and went into my bathroom, which was connected to my room. I opened my medicine cabinet and found the bottle. I filled a cup up with water and walked back to my bed. I set the water down.

I opened the bottle and dumped all the pills onto my bed. I counted 13 of them. 13 will have to do. I closed my eyes and scooped the pills up.

I swallowed a lump in my throat and set them back onto my bed. I grabbed a sharpie off of my desk and ripped a poster off of my wall for space. I uncapped the marker and started to write in big, cursive letters.

You all mean the world to me. I'm sorry. I love you all so much.

I signed my name at the bottom. I threw the marker down, letting it hit the wall. I sat back on my bed and scooped the pills up again. I started trembling, which meant a panic attack was about to happen. I dumped all of the pills in my mouth and swallowed every single one of them with one gulp of water.

I laid back on my bed and breathed heavily, forcing the panic away. I made sure my door was locked, which it was. After five minutes, the room began to become dizzy. My eyes began to droop. I forced myself to sit up, which made me even dizzier. I stood up on wobbly legs.

I tried to balance myself, but my body wouldn't let me. My vision was extremely blurry and I had no idea where I was going. I tried taking a step with my left foot, but I ended up falling to the ground. I felt my head hit the wall, cracking it.

I yelped when my head slammed off of the wall and onto the floor. I held my head and laid there on my floor, lifeless.

“When I find my mate, I will never leave you alone.”

Guess what, Oliver! When you did find your mate, you left me alone. You left me so alone that I decided to kill myself. How do you f*****g feel now?

“If I don't find my mate in two weeks, then we can come out.”

You didn't come out, Oliver. You did the opposite. You came in. You blocked me off. You made me feel like such a b***h for not telling you. I didn't tell you because I was protecting you. Protecting you from the pain you would feel from being with me.

“And you have me.”

I want to have you right now, Oliver. I so want to have you right now. I felt my doorknob jingle and I chuckled.

“ISAAC, OPEN THE DAMN DOOR!” Casper yelled.

I chuckled. “Go away.” I whispered, rolling over onto my back.

“ISAAC!” Mom yelled.

“Please, tell me he's okay.” I heard Ryan say.

My smile immediately disappeared when I heard my baby brother's voice. Oh my gosh, this is gonna kill him. What the hell am I doing?!

I tried to move to the door to unlock it, but my body wouldn't move. My eyes started to flutter shut, but I kept them open. I needed to find a way to open the door.

I felt someone run into the door over and over again. The door banged against the wall as Casper ran into it with his shoulder again. They all ran over to me and Mom screamed in pain. Ryan started crying as Casper ran out of my room.

Mom, weakly, took my hand, trying not to hurt me. Casper came back into my room with his phone pressed up to his ear. My eyes began to flutter again.

“Isaac, open your eyes. You're not leaving me.”

“B-but I love Oliver a-and he don't l-love me.” I whispered, my voice cracking.

“He loves you, Izzy. He loves you.” Ryan said, kneeling next to me and taking my other hand.

“H-how do you know?” I said, laughing for no reason.

“I just know, Izzy.”

My eyes started to flutter again, but they snapped open when I felt a small sting in my cheek. My mom had slapped me to wake me up.

“They're on their way, Campbell.” Casper said, throwing his phone onto my bed.

He kneeled down next to me. My eyes started to flutter again and Mom screamed at me, bringing me back.

I heard something and then people rushed in. I saw Dr. Moore and smiled at him. They picked me up, putting me on a stretcher.

I finally let my eyes close.