Loving A Closeted Werewolf

Isaac's POV Oliver Kass is my mate. He doesn't know it yet, so we're just a “friends with benefits” relationship. In two years, Oliver will know that we're mates. He's 17 right now, while I'm 19. I'll probably cave soon and tell him, but.. I don't know when. I lay in bed with Oli. I had my head on his chest as we watched The Big Bang Theory. Oli and I had spent the day in bed all day without any interruptions. Except for when his mom called him, asking where he was. His mom was extremely protective of him, which is why we haven't told her that he's gay. “Oli?” “Hm?” “Can I tell you something?” I whispered. And this is how it started. Everyday I planned to tell him that we were mates, but I always backed out before I said anything. “Of course.” I closed my eyes and thought of the pros and cons list again. There's more pros, but the cons always got to me. Here's what the cons list looked like: -he could reject me -he could not believe me -he could think I'm disgusting and find another girl -he could not want to come out -he could hate me forever That's all I could come up with. The pros list looked like this: -we could finally be together -he would finally say that he loves me -he could want to come out -we could finally do other things, sexually -we could actually act like a real couple -he would finally not be scared to get too close to me “Izzy?” He asked, stroking my hair. “Sorry, um, nothing. Never mind.” “You sure?” “Yeah. It's nothing.” “Okay.” He said and looked back at the TV. “Why haven't you been spending the night lately?” I whispered. He sighed. “I just.. I don't know if we could actually do this, Isaac.” “Why?” I asked, sitting up and looking at him. I always had to reassure him that what we're doing is okay. He wants to wait for his mate, but he just doesn't know that it's me yet. I seriously want to tell him, but I always feel like he'll reject me. I can't deal with that. “I just don't know if this is right.” “It is, Oli, please, when you find your mate, I'll leave you alone.” I lied. “Then what's the point of all of this?” “Because I love you.” I whispered. He gave me a sympathetic look and gave me a hug. “When I find my mate, I will never leave you alone.” He said. “You better not.” I joked. He chuckled. “I won't.” “Can you spend the night tonight?” “Only if you take me on a date.” “Where to?” “Other side of town.” I nodded. “Okay, go home and get dressed.” “I have clothes here.” He said. “Fine then.” I said, sarcastically. We both got up. He changed into khaki pants, light blue long-sleeved shirt, and white Vans. I dressed in black skinny jeans, white long-sleeved shirt, and white Vans too. He walked over to me and gave me a quick kiss, then proceeded to grab his phone and keys and we left. He threw his keys to me for me to drive. “I guess I'll drive.” I joked. He chuckled and got into his car. “Where are we going to eat?” “How am I supposed to know?” He chuckled. He took my hand as I started driving to the complete opposite side of town to just have dinner. We got to a restaurant and we sat at a table. “Don't you dare get some healthy crap.” I said to him, looking over the menu. “Why?” “Because you'll make me feel fat.” He gave me a confused look and hit my hand. “You are far from being fat.” I smiled over at him. He leaned over the table and gave me a quick kiss. I loved that when there's no one we knew around us, he was so sweet. But God forbid, when someone we did know was around, we couldn't even sit near each other. “What're you thinking about?” “Just us.” “Us coming out?” “How'd you know?” “That's what you always think about, Izzy.” “Well, yeah.” “Babe, you know that-” “Yeah, I know.” I said, sitting back in my chair. “Come on, don't be mad.” “Who said I was?” I snapped. He sighed and we ordered our food. We sat in silence until he looked up at me. “If I don't find my mate in two weeks, then we can come out.” “That's when you can feel your mate, Oli!” “I know.” “That's the worst plan I've ever heard. Change the subject or I'm leaving.” He sighed, crossing his arms. “I'm sorry, Izzy.” I turned my head away from him and picked up my phone to text Kade. If you didn't know, Kade is the human alpha of the White Water Pack, which is Oli and I's pack. He's mated to Joey, who is the alpha too. Currntly on wrst date ever with Oli “Don't start texting Kade about this now.” “Who said I was?” I snapped. What happnd? The fact that I wnt 2 come out cme up & he sid that in 2 weks, we can “I know how you text Kade. You always keep your phone in your hand because he texts back quick.” I ignored him. O that does sck. Srry Iz I just wnt 2 go home. Then go home we alrdy ordrd & he wuld gt mad at me My phone was snatched from my hand after I sent the message. I looked up at Oliver with wide eyes. “What do you think you're doing?” “Trying to have an actual conversation with my.. you. With you.” “With your what? Friend with benefits?” “No, I wasn't gonna say that.” “We're just gonna eat and go home. You go to your own house if you want to have such an attitude.” “Don't be so stupid, Isaac.” He said. If you don't know, I have depression and anxiety, so when someone insults me, it really affects me. I turned my head to stop the tears from coming. “I'm so sorry, Isaac. That was so out of line.” He said. I ignored him and put my hands over my face. I felt Oliver slide me into my booth. He wrapped his arms around me as I cried into his shoulder. “I am so sorry, Izzy. That was terrible and I was so out of line.” “Yes, you were.” I whispered, looking up at him. I pulled away from him and they set our plates in front of us. “Thank you.” Oli said to the waiter. We started eating and I set my head on his shoulder again. “I'm really sorry.” He said to me. “I know.” I said taking another bite of my salad. He set his hand on my back and rubbed it to make me feel better. Once we were done, he paid the waiter and we left. He drove us back to the camp, but we parked the car and looked over at the courtyard. It looked like the whole pack was out there, so we started walking there. As soon as Joey saw us, he started walking to us with Kade and Cody by his side. Cody's the beta along with his mate, Melissa. “What's going on?” I asked. “There was an attack, Isaac.” Oliver looked down at me, but I kept my eyes on Joey. “What happened?” “It's Ryan.” My eyes widened and I started running to the crowd. I pushed past people, not caring at all. Once I got to the front, I saw Dr. Moore and some of his employees pressing cloths and stuff to his body that was covered in blood. It looked like a claw mark was on his stomach. Someone grabbed me from around my waist, slamming me against their chest. “Let me go!” I screamed as the whole pack had their eyes on me. “Isaac, stop!” I heard my step-dad scream. I just put my hands over my face, starting to sob into them and he lowered me to the ground with him behind me. My mom came over and comforted me, taking me from my step-dad's arms. “He's gonna be okay.” She whispered to me. Okay, so here's the story. My mom's a wolf, but when I was 14, my dad was killed in a pack raid. Common s**t, right? Well, my mom grieved for two years. That's why I'm so much older than everyone else in my grade. I'm 18, about to be 19. In 9th grade, my mom didn't want to drive me to school because she was so depressed, so I had to get rides from people. My friend's moms couldn't afford to drive me back then, so I could barely ever get to school. When I did, I would fail everything. We moved away from the pack camp after my dad died to keep us safe. We didn't have buses because no one would ever ride them, so there was seriously no point. I failed 9th grade and had to repeat it. That's when I met Oli and Tyler, who has actually been my friend since freshman year, but we didn't get close until we both became friends with the alphas. That's when Conner, Joey's dad who was still alpha back then, found an elder that could take pain away from the loss of a mate. He helped my mom, so she met my now step-dad. But I'm not like most people. I don't hate my step-dad. Casper, that's his name, is super nice. He's a trauma nurse. He's not a wolf, but when he met my mom, he was fine with the whole supernatural thing. The pack got to know him and they love him aswell. A year after they got married, I was 17, they adopted Ryan. His parents died in a pack raid. Same one my dad died in. He couldn't find a family willing to take him. My mom and Casper took him in. He's not my actual brother, but we're super close after all we've been through together. Ryan is 15 now, but he was 14 when we adopted him. “We're gonna take him to the clinic and then we will inform you of his condition hourly.” “No, I'm gonna stay by him.” I snapped. “No, you are not.” Mom said. “Why?” I yelled, standing up and away from her. “Because you have-” “Whatever.” I said, not letting her finish, just walking away with Oliver following me with a distance. I threw my front door open and turned around, which made Oli run into me. “Sorry.” He said, backing up. “What do you want?” “I'm not gonna leave you while your brother is like this, Izzy.” “Why? I was fine without you before.” I said, walking away. He followed me, of course. Something to know about Oli, he doesn't know that I have depression. Or that I take anti-depressants and anti-anxiety medication. I just don't want to freak him out, you know? “You weren't fine, Isaac. Your dad dying had a huge effect on you and your life.” “Like you know.” “Why are you so mad at me?” He asked when I threw myself onto my bed. I ignored him and dug my head into the pillow. Oli sat next to me and put his hand on my back. He sighed. “Okay, yes, you were by yourself when you're dad died, Izzy, but you still hurt. You hurt whenever someone close to you gets hurt. You're scared to lose them. But guess what, Izzy? You're not alone anymore. You have Kade, Tyler, even Joey!” “But what about you?” I whispered, looking up at him. He leaned down and kissed my temple. “And you have me.” “Will I.. will I always have you?” I asked. Even though I knew that I would, I had to ask the question. “Yes, even when I find my mate and you find yours.” I smiled up at him. “Okay.” Oli's phone began to ring and we both knew it was his mom. His mom has been extremely protective of him ever since his brother was known to as an alcoholic. Wolves get drunk the same way as humans. We don't have a better alcohol tolerance than humans, which some people think. “Hello?” I put my ear next to his phone to hear the conversation. “Oliver, where are you?” “I'm spending the night at Isaac's.” “You've been there a lot lately, what's going on? Is he okay?” She asked in a panic. “He's fine. I'm fine. Everyone's fine. Don't worry. I'll come home tomorrow.” She sighed into the phone. “Okay, I love you.” “I love you too.” He set his phone down on the nightstand and I looked up at him. “You should go home.” “I'm going tomorrow.” “She's freaking out, Oli.” “She's always freaking out.” “Because of your brother. She doesn't want you to turn out like him.” “Don't bring Oscar into this.” “I am and I will.” I said, sitting up. “I'm not going to turn out like him. I've only gotten drunk three times and high twice. It's fine.” “Five times you've done something she wouldn't have approved of. She knows you do that stuff, but she doesn't like it when you're not around me. Hell, I don't like it when you do it not around me. Three out of five times was with other people.” “Because you don't get high, that's the two times, and then you didn't want to go out drinking one night.” “Because I was dealing with my own problems!” I defended. “I don't care anymore, Isaac. I'll go home when I want to go home.” “And when is that?” “When I get tired of being around you.” “And when will that be?” I asked, trying not to sound hurt. He shot out of bed. “I have been here for two weeks, Isaac! I want to stay with you forever! I will never get tired of you! How have you not learned that?” I shot out of bed too. “You think I would get tired of you?!” “You asked me to go home tonight!” “I gave you the option to go home a few minutes ago and at dinner! I was just.. nevermind. Why are we even fighting?” “Because you're telling me that I make bad decisions!” “Oli, just stop. I don't want to fight with you.” “I don't either, but I don't want you to think that I will get tired of you.” “I know you won't and I will never get tired of you.” We sat back on the bed and he got really quiet. “What?” I asked. “I'm scared for this answer, but do you love me?” My eyes widened and I pulled the covers over myself, turning away from him. “Goodnight.” Yes, I love Oli. I know how it feels to have a mate and that's him. I feel the sparks that he doesn't feel. I feel so many emotions and most of them lead to love. “Izzy, do you love me?” “Goodnight, Oli!” I said, cheerfully, then turned my lamp off, cutting off the light source in the room.