The Queen Within

Chapter 3

Jonathan

I felt like I was floating on clouds. Alandra was perfection, and by the grace of the Goddess, we were going to be blessed with a child. I suspected it at first, but I wasn’t sure. When I had sensed it, I tried telling myself it was just me being hopeful. But when Alandra confirmed my suspicions, all I wanted to do was to scream to the moon of my excitement.

Alandra on the other hand wanted to keep it a secret. She didn’t want anyone to know about it until we went to a doctor. I wasn’t sure why she wanted to wait, or why she even wanted to wait so long to see one, but I respected her wishes. I tried to be supportive and hold back as much of my excitement as I could.

The only issue was, Alandra was scaring me. She held herself up in the room for days. For the time we waited for the set doctor appointment, she stayed in the room and only went out of it to grab a snack from the kitchen. Because I swore I wouldn’t tell anyone, there was no one I could go to about the way she was acting. I was stuck just watching it.

I did what I could to help. I tried cheering her up by bringing her all her favorite foods. Getting her an extra soft comforter. I even went as far as to give her this unicorn onesie she had her eye on for months. Although she was comfortable, she didn't change much. I thought maybe she was concerned about her health or the babies, but the way she reacted at the appointment, I am not sure anymore.

Maybe I am just blind to it. Maybe I just don't understand, but I am trying to. On top of all these requests and threats that are happening, I'm finding it hard to juggle them all.

I watched as my mom take Alandra upstairs to rest. I hoped that maybe some time with her will help her open up. I wanted Alandra to open up to me, but if it was my mom I would be just as happy. So long as she was talking to someone. My dad clasped my shoulder and smiled from ear to ear.

”About time I was made a grandfather.”

“Hey, it’s about time I was made a father.”

We both laughed and hugged each other. This was a moment we both have waited a lifetime for. I had to remember that it’s ok that I’m happy about this. That Alandra’s and my feelings are both valid. Though I am concerned about my mate, I have to remember that I am allowed to feel too.

"What a joyous moment my son. We must call all the packs and have them come for the announcement. This is not only tremendous news for our pack but for all of the shifters in our community. A new royal will be born." My father said as he gestured for me to sit with him. "All of the pack leaders will want to be present to congratulate and to swear allegiance to the baby."

I snorted on accident and apologized. I get where my father was coming from, but it's a baby. An unborn baby. "Dad, I don't think anyone will be swearing allegiance to an unborn child."

"Oh, you'll be surprised son. Remember, Alandra is Queen. They will want to show that they are on her and the baby's side for future favors."

He made it seem like it was a game of chess. Of course, I had hoped it wouldn't be like that, but sadly, if my father was saying it, then it was true. I didn't want people to think they could use a relationship with our child as a pawn. Alandra wants to be a just ruler. That meant making choices based on circumstances and what kind of outcomes it could bring. Not based on who is close to our child.

"Dad... I'm worried about Alandra. She doesn't... Seem as happy about this as I am and I don't know what to do."

"What do you mean son?"

I told my dad everything that had been happening. The mood shifts Alandra was going through, the way she seemed to recede into herself. How lost I felt in trying to make it better. I poured it all out to him because now that I can talk to someone about it all, what better person than my own dad?

He sat and listened to me quietly. He said a few words here and there but he waited till I was done. When I did finish, he had this goofy smile on his face.

"She reminds me of your mother. She went through the same thing. Even went as far as to ban me from our room for a while. Blamed the entire thing on me. I was just as lost as you are now. But my father told me some sound advice, and this is the advice I give to you."

My dad cleared his throat and straightened his back, "Tough tittys. Yes your feelings are valid and you should talk to her when you can, but you aren't the one carrying a whole being inside you. She will go through so much, ups and downs, good and bad, painful and joyous things that we will never experience. What she needs is your support. You smile and joy. She may go dark some days, and those are the days she will need you the most."

"When our mates are pregnant, they need us to be strong for them in a different way than we are used to being. They are being strong physically, and need us to be strong emotionally. The way she is feeling happens to some women. It may take time for her to come around. Continue to support her and show her that you are here. That's what matters most."

I thought about what he was saying. Ultimately he was right. I was frustrating myself and making myself feel down because I didn't know how to deal with Alandra being like this. Yes, I felt what I felt, but at the same time, what mattered more at this moment was how she was feeling. I felt stupid for taking this long to realize it.

"Thanks, dad. I really needed to hear it."

"You're welcome, son. At least you heard it before she banished you to the couch." He said as he chuckled. Clearly, he still harbored feelings about it. I made a mental note to ask my mom why she banished him to make sure I don't make the same mistake.

"Why don't you go to Alandra and I'll call the packs to have them come. Don't you worry son, me and your mother will plan everything."

I nodded to him and gave him a hug before heading up to the room. I felt better now that I talked to my dad. I didn't feel as hopeless as before. Alandra needed me and I was going to be her rock. For her, and our baby.

When I got to the room, Alandra and my mother were hugging. My heart warmed at that sight and smiled at them. Alandra quickly wiped her eyes and gave me a small smile back. I quickly went to her and wrapped an arm around her.

"Are you ok my love?"

Alandra nodded and gave me another small smile. "I was just talking to your mom about some things is all."

"Yes, a little girl talk. I'll let you two be, I have lots of planning to do and so little time!" My mom kissed both our cheeks and headed toward the door.

"Oh, mom, dad's calling all the packs."

"He what?! Without me?! That man I swear..." My mom said and mumbled a few other things as she headed out the door. Poor dad, I guess he frequents the couch.

Alandra tugged at my shirt slightly and I looked down at her. Looking into her eyes I saw the fear in them. There was grief behind the fear but that was something she kept tucked away. Even from me. I knew when she was ready she will let me in about her grief. For now, she was letting me in about her fear.

I took her hand and led her to the bed, gently laying her down. I laid down beside her and pulled her close to me. Without saying a word, I stroked her hair and rubbed her back. Letting the only sound in the room be our breaths. I wasn't sure if this was the right move, but it was the only thing I could think of doing.

We stood that way for over an hour. Enjoying each other's company as we cuddled into each other's arms. For a moment I thought she had fallen asleep but then I felt her plant a soft kiss on my chest. I looked at her and that fear that was there in her eyes had dimmed some.

“I’m here for you love. Every step of the way. Whatever you need, I am here.”

She didn’t say anything at first. She only looked at me, but it was like she was battling with herself. When it seemed like a side had won, she nodded.

“I know Jonathan. I’m just… worried. Afraid. Not really sure what to do. I barely know how to be a lycan. Can I really raise one?”

“Alandra, of course, you can. I believe in you. Fully. There is no doubt in my mind that you will raise our child to be an amazing lycan and ruler. Plus, if Charlie’s expedition is fruitful, then we will have lycan’s you can contact for any information you need.”

She smiled at that thought. Charlie had been going on different expeditions to different lands with his mate to try to find any clue about where other lycans may be. So far he hadn’t found anything but we were still hopeful that he will find something soon. Although, I’m sure he and his mate are also using this as a chance to have a honeymoon of sorts. Though, he would never admit it.

“Promise me, no matter what is thrown at us, we will get through it. Together.”

”Together my love.” I kissed Alandra softly and held her closer. I felt the promise wasn’t needed since I don’t intend to ever leave her side, but if it’s what makes her feel better, then I’ll promise anything, and make sure to keep it.

Just then I heard Alandra’s stomach growl. She giggled softly and looked at me innocently. “You love me right?” I c****d an eyebrow at her. She only ever said this when she wanted something. “Of course I do.”

”Do you love me enough to bring me fresh French fries with extra salt?”

I chuckled, “Sure thing hun. I’ll call the kitchen and see if we can have them bring some up.” I said as I sat up.

Alandra did a little victory dance as I called one of the cooks and relayed the order. They were only too happy to make Alandra anything she had wanted. She had won the hearts over of everyone in this pack and I’m not really sure she even knows it. I was about to turn to her and tell her about the fries when both my parents came barging in bickering about something.

”It leaves too little time for them to arrive love!”

”So?! This is for their Queen. If they want to be a part of it, then they better be here on time.”

They both came to us and my mother had a giant smile on while my father looked a tad peeved.

"Alandra! Thank goodness you're still awake! We have so much to discuss! I've brought my planning book and only need a few write-offs from you. We have a big party to plan for in three days!"

"Three days mom? Don't you think it's a little... soon?"

"That's what I said!" My father almost shouted but the look my mother gave him suddenly caused the ceiling to become very interesting. Alandra stood next to me.

"It is not rushed! All the packs want to come right? Then they must come on our schedule. We shouldn't have to postpone our plans for them." My mother said as she crossed her arms over her chest.

"I'm sorry... All the packs are coming? Isn't this a bit rushed?" Alandra said barely above a whisper. My mom quickly went to Alandra's side.

"Oh not at all dear. We will take care of everything. I just need to know a few of your preferences. Is that ok with you?"

Alandra sighed but nodded to my mom. If there was one thing I know, there was no party that my mom couldn't plan in a day.