DIVORCE HIM
1583 Words
CASSANDRA WILLIAMS
When my mother removed her hands from mine, that is just how I really knew I f****d up. She certainly never expected me to drop such a bomb on her, especially when she thought better of me.
She is shocked and disappointed. I now wish I could have kept it from her.
“Was it now after the wedding? Please tell me it is then, Cassandra,”
Oh her words suddenly make me feel like s**t.
“I am sorry, mama,” I cry, unable to look her in the eyes.
“Oh, Cassandra. When was it?” She asks.
The judgement in my situation is just so unavoidable.
“Mom, you promised not to judge me,” I say, embarrassed as it is.
“I am not judging you, Cassie! I am surprised. I thought you loved Wayne; he was a very good respectful boy. I really liked him. Cassie, you are young and you are allowed to do whatever mistake you want to learn from, but this... Lucas is as good as Wayne’s father for crying out loud!”
“I know, and I feel so bad about it every day,”
“If you did feel as bad as you say, why couldn’t you tell Wayne and break up with him before things got this far? And right now what are you doing with Lucas? Did you plan the agenda of this catastrophic wedding, or Wayne has really mysteriously disappeared for real?”
If my own mother sees this situation this way, then what are outsiders supposed to think? The worst of me?
“Mom?”
“Cassie, this is very complicated. I honestly do not feel so sure about it. You must divorce him right away,”
The word divorce leaves a bitter thought in my mind. I suddenly feel like light headed and as if I am going to faint.
“I don’t want to divorce him, Mom. I love him!”
“Cassandra Jane! Love? Do you even know the difference between love, lust and desire? I don’t see love there! I see a man taking advantage of my daughter’s innocence. Do you think I enjoyed watching him dominating you while you were on your knees? Cassie, I am sick, and I don’t want to spend my last days on earth worrying about the wrong choices you make,”
If only I could turn back the time and be honest to Wayne. He was my first boyfriend after all, and I never got the experience I needed from him. I loved him, but slowly fell out of love for him after I slept with his uncle.
When tried to have s*x with me so many times with him, and as much as I wanted to, I was so scared that he might somewhat find out that I am not a virgin anymore, so I told him to wait until the day night of our wedding, hoping that Lucas would have returned before he even proposed to me. I was counting on Lucas’s word. He said he would come back for me and I believed him, but he took longer than expected and I accepted that my fate lied with Wayne.
I would have kept my secret affair a secret forever and gone down to the grave with it, but Lucas had to appear out of nowhere and make his grand entrance. I was relieved, but at the same time in shock because my fiancé left our wedding – if not kidnapped.
I just wish I really knew the reason behind his disappearance. Maybe I would have been in peace with my marriage with uncle Lucas.
“Cassandra, I do not want you with Lucas. You need to divorce him as soon as possible!” My mother raises her voice.
This time I bravely raise my eyes and look at her. She is dead serious.
“I am sorry, mom. It is too early to talk about divorce. Wayne chose to coward away and leave without explaining himself to me. If anything, I strongly have a feeling that he walked away on his own will. If being kidnapped was the case, then his mother would have reported him missing to the police by now,”
My mom is upset right now, but I am just as upset as she is. I know I can’t really explain how I really feel about uncle Lucas or make people see what I see in him, but at least they should be giving us a benefit of doubt. They age gap may be a surprise to everyone, but love has no age.
“Mom, please don’t worry about me and the decisions I make. Lucas and I are comfortable together,”
“Is that how you got your job that pays so much?”
I gasp in disbelief.
“Out if all the people, I am getting that from you? Wow, Mom,” Tears stream out of my eyes vigorously.
“Cassandra...” She tries to reach out as I stand, but I don’t hold back.
Before I could say anything, my phone rings in my bag. As soon as I take it out, the call ends but rings soon after a few seconds.
I don’t know the number, but I answer and put the phone against my ear.
“Cassandra Williams...”
“I get to the hotel and I am told you checked out. On whose permission?”
The voice so calm yet deep and commanding.
“Lu-Lucas?”
“Be here in an hour, baby girl,”
“Please...” I breathe. “Please get me,” I cry.
I hear him heave a sigh over the phone and stays silent for a while.
“Where are you?”
“I am home,”
“What happened?” So quickly, he asks as if he can tell that something is wrong.
“Nothing! Why would anything be wrong?” I shoot.
“In that case, I changed my mind. I will see you tomorrow,”
“What!?” I exclaim in surprise.
I thought he wanted me there.
“Isn’t it funny how you told me that you wanted to leave earlier but you suddenly want to come back? That is not how I want you to come to me. Spend the night with your mom; I’ll fetch you later tomorrow.” Instantly, he hangs up the call.
I gasp, somewhat feeling embarrassed.
I sigh and turn, only to find my mom gone.
***
I am not planning to sit another day stressing about my problems. I woke up early today to get ready for work. I am supposed to be on leave for a two weeks because actually, I was supposed to be in honeymoon with Wayne, but that’s obviously out of the question now.
Today I received a message about my wedding cake that is still at the hotel. They were asking if I want it to be delivered to my house. I haven’t responded to them.
Everything is now getting into me. My dream wedding was a flop. I don’t even have a single wedding picture except those I took before I found out Wayne had left the wedding chat.
At least I did not leave without a husband. I still married a Jones.
Anyway, I am heading out of my room with my handbag in my hand, making my way to my mom’s room. I woke up a little early to make breakfast for her. She didn’t eat the food she cooked yesterday after the little disagreement we had. I hope she’ll soon accept my decision because I don’t think I can change my mind.
I knock on the door of her room and step inside. She is up already, reading her bible. She has always been a believer in Christ and will never lose her faith.
As for me, I believe in good luck, and bad luck. I don’t really know if the Big Guy truly exists or not. I know you might think this is blasphemy of me, but I think that God is some kind of fictional character in a fool called bible.
“Morning, mom. I made breakfast. I am off to work now and I called Hazel to come... I will see you later when I come back,” I say.
“You are leaving early today,” She says.
“Yeah, I have a stop to make before I get to work,”
“Mm, okay...”
***
I have arrived at my first stop. I haven’t been here since a week ago before the wedding, but today I am here. I am scared. I don’t really know what I am hoping to find here but I needed to come here for some reason. This is Wayne’s townhouse. He hardly lived here but he gave me a key because he hoped that we would live here together after our wedding.
I unlock the front door and walk inside. It’s quite warm and feels like someone is here, but it is too quiet for someone to be here.
I don’t smell him, I don’t feel him... it doesn’t look like he came here at all. His slippers are just where I left them when I was here last week.
I make my way upstairs but as I get on the first step, I hear footsteps behind me, then suddenly a voice,
“What are you doing here?”
- Writer
