Anhedonia

But Yes, it is.

Everything and everyone shows him that all will be okay, but he's anxious. It comes as an electrical storm in his brain that, quite honestly, is painful. It's different from a headache and it feels the same as intense sorrow, perhaps as a sort of frozen panic with nowhere to go. So though he appear calm, his sad eyes are saying far more than "Help me," they are saying that her soul is in such unbearable pain and all for the lack of real love but it is just an anxiety attack.

He heaved a deep breath and exhales exasperatedly while pacing back and forth like a caged tiger, he shook his both hands, trying to shrugged off the anxiety but that didn't help, especially when he knew the time of the blonde's arrival is near.

"Jerry, would you please stop?" Juhyun rebukes him but Jerry seems to not hear that, as he kept walking inside the living room, murmuring words that came out as gibberish for Akisha who's been staring at him confusedly for almost half an hour now.

"Jerry! You're making us dizzy!" Seul-ki said but the younger guy continued what he was doing.

"Hey loser, why don't you calm down?"

Jerry halts and whipped his head at the kid in stunned surprised. "Ok first, what the fuc-!"

"Jerry Kim!" Juhyun quickly rebuked his for what he was about to say and widens her eyes to remind Jerry that Akisha is still a kid. Jerry rolled his eyes and sat on the couch abruptly, crossing his arms while shooting the kid a dagger look.

"There you go." Akisha said and show her toothy smile before jumping off from Seul-ki's lap and crawled into Jerry's lap. "I even had to call you a loser just to stop you from pacing back and forth." The kid tells him while giggling.

"You're lucky that you are still a baby, but if not? I'm probably choking you right now." Jerry whispered lowly so Juhyun and Seul-ki won't hear him.

"You can't do that, you love me!"

"Whatever you little annoying creature just like her Dad." Jerry hisses and rolled his eyes but still pulling the kid closer onto his body.

The couples went to the airport and they've been waiting for almost two hours now and yet, Liam and Hayley hasn't been give them a call, Akisha even fell asleep in Jerry's arm and got tired from waiting. Jerry groans and fished out his phone from hisbpocket and dialed Liam's number, the moment Liam answered his phone, Jerry cussed the younger guy.

"Damn you Liam! Why are you taking too long?!"

"Shut up Tiny, Rosie's flight got one hour delayed and we still had to wait three more hours until she arrive."

"f**k that airline company!" Jerry whispered hardly as he doesn't want the kid in his arms to wake up.

Hayley's giggles can be heard from the other line before they heard her voice. "Relax Jerry, we already waited for two hours, one more hour and you will finally get to see her."

"I still hate whatever airlines she's at." Jerry scoffs before bidding his goodbye and tossed his phone on his side. "I'll put this kid on her bed."

"Go on, want a coffee?" Juhyun asked.

"Nah, I am already nervous, coffee will not do me any good." Jerry said before carrying the kid and makes his way upstairs. He slowly lay down the kid and tucked her in under the blanket and leave a kiss on Akisha's forehead before turning his heels but he stopped when he felt a small hand tugging the hem of his shirt.

"Can you please stay?" Akisha pleaded with her eyes still closed. Jerry nodded at her even though the child could not see him, staying for several minutes next to the child was not difficult, after all, he was really anxious as f**k knowing that he would see the blonde within an hour.

Jerry slid his feet under the blanket and Akisha immediately snuggle on his neck, making his heart flutter. He wrapped his arm on the child's small body and kissed the top of her head before his own eyes slowly fluttering without him knowing. Maybe because he hadn't had his sleep last night for having the excitement inside his body.

Who wouldn't tho? You will see your girl after hiding for four years, that thought alone was enough to keep him awake for the entire night.

—

There is something so intoxicating about an excited child. They bounce, they pounce, they squeal and they run. As their grins get wider everyone about them starts to smile - even the curmudgeons who love to complain. That's how Rosie is today, as if she's bursting with liquid sunshine from within, as if like a kid excited to see her parents for the first time after finishing an eight hours school time.

She furiously tapped her foot on the ground while waiting for her baggage to appear on a moving flat metal surface. A wide grin crept on her lips when she saw the pink suitcase came out from nowhere, she grabbed the handle and ran towards the waiting area.

"Rosie Park!" A loud roaring deep voice called her name and her lips stretched further when she saw her best friend waving his hand in the air eagerly.

"Prince Liam!" She shouted back and ran towards the doe eyed guy, leaving her luggage in the middle. They both embraced each other with so much tightness when they met in the middle. "Oh my God! I missed you so much!"

"I missed you too Rosie!" Liam said and starts sniffing against Rosie's neck.

Rosie promised herself that she will not cry anymore, but after seeing her best friend, she couldn't help herself but to let the tears stream down on her face. Her inner self would understand her, right?

After they both pulled away from the hug, Rosie then engulfed Hayley into a tight hug. "I missed you too Hayley!"

"Aiya, I missed you too Rosie." Hayley said and patted the latter's head, surely it remind her the way how the brunette guy will pat her head but she quickly shrug it off and flashed her smile. "Let's go home so you can take a rest and the other couple are waiting for you."

"I really missed Juhyun and Seul-ki, my second parents."

"Yeah, you better get ready yourself for a long lecture Rosie Park." Liam threatens her but Rosie just laugh it off and cling onto Liam's arm as they made their way out from the airport.

"I missed everything here, the cold weather, the ambiance and my unit, I wonder if Joohwangie is still alive." Rosie said, feeling sad and guilty for leaving her pet.

The couple exchange glances before Hayley turn her head to face the blonde sitting at the back. "Uhm Rosie, goodnews, Joohwangie is still alive and you're going to stay in our house."

"Really? He's still alive? Thank you so much for taking care of him, but why do I need to stay at your unit if I have my own?"

Hayley look at Liam, as if she's asking for help and her husband nods at her. "Rosie, we're not living in our condo anymore, Hayley and I bought a house, same with Seul-ki and Juhyun." Liam tells her, eyes still focused on the road.

"Oh, so you mean we're not neighbors anymore? That's sad, but don't worry, I will be fine with my unit." Rosie insisted but Liam and Hayley sighs softly, leaving them no choice but to tell her the truth.

"Actually Rosie, there's someone staying in your unit." Liam said cautiously.

"Who?!" Rosie asked in shocked. "You sold my unit?!"

"No, we didn't and it was Jerry, living in your unit." Liam answered, stealing a quick glance at the blonde to see her reaction.

"Oh." All Rosie could say.

"But don't worry, I can ask him to move out, he just stayed there so someone will take care of Joohwangie." Hayley assures her quickly when she saw the blonde frowns.

"Please do, that's my unit after all." Rosie said, smiling but that smile barely made to her eyes.

The couple exchanged glances before both smiling at each other softly. Liam reached for his wife's hand and intertwined them, rubbing his thumb on Hayley's knuckles to soothe her.

Jerry isn't just another friend of his wife, the older guys is her long time best friend, and even if Hayley won't admit it, she's hurting for her best friend.

—

Jerry shot his eyes open when he heard a loud chattering outside Akisha's room, the little brat angel with a cute little frowns on her face, came to her sight. He slowly pushed himself to sat down and stared at the door, still thinking what he's doing before he drifted to sleep. And slowly, everything came back to him, his eyes slowly grew wide upon remembering that today is the day his long lost lover will arrive.

"Akisha, wake up princess." Jerry shrugged the tiny figure lightly.

"W-what?" Akisha asked groggily, turning her body and swat Jerry's arm.

"Wake up!"

"That is not the way how you wake up a kid uncle Jerry!" Akisha huffed and abruptly sat down, shooting the older guy a dagger look. "Daddy and mommy used to showered me a lot of kisses to wake me up, can't you do that?"

"I'm sorry if I'm not as sweet as your parents, just be thankful I didn't flipped you out of the bed." Akisha looked at him ludicrously with mouth hung open. "That's not the case here, we need to get ready, the goddess has arrived!"

"What do you mean? I never went out?"

It was Jerry's turn to look at the kid incredulously but he shook his head furiously and scrunched up his nose. "Focus kid! There's an angel outside your room and yes, there's another angel asides from you." Jerry added quickly, knowing that the kid will say another ridiculous words when she open her mouth. "So I want you to cooperate with me."

Akisha shrugged her shoulders and crossed her arms. "Ok, what do you want me to do?"

"I need you to act like we were close, like really close."

"We already are, how close do you want? Like in a relationship?"

"b***h what? no!" Jerry laughed and ruffles the kid's hair. "You seriously need to stop watching Korean dramas!"

"You said the B word! I'm gonna tell mom." Akisha threatens and jumped off of the bed to ran out of the room, Jerry felt a sudden panic and rolled out of the bed to ran after the kid.

"Akisha no! Please don't tell Hayley!"

"Mom! Uncle Jerry said the B word!" Akisha shouted and was about to go down but Jerry quickly grabbed the kid's hand and lift her from the ground.

"Stop, I'm sorry ok? I was just got surprised with what you said!"

"Mommy told me that if ever you and Dad say the B word, I need to tell her."

"I know, I know, but spare me just this time?" Jerry asked and look at the kid with pleading eyes.

"He said the what?"

Jerry and Akisha whipped their heads downstairs when they heard Hayley's voice and they both gasped silently when they noticed that all eyes were on them. There were five person standing at the living room, but among them, Jerry's eyes landed in one particular person.

A tall blonde girl, with her puffy cheeks, eyes forming into a crescent because of a wide smile plastering on her lips while looking at the kid in her arms. Hks heart skipped a beat when Rosie shifts her gaze at him but that was for only one mili second and went back to the kid.

"Is that Akisha?" Rosie asked and Jerry hitched his breath. That honey sweet voice alone can make his heart to do the somersault. God knows how much he missed that voice.

"Yeah, come here Aki, I want you to meet my best friend." Liam called the kid. Akisha patted Jerry's hand to put her down and she ran downstairs but Liam went towards the kid to help her five years old kid descending from the stair. "Jerry, greet her." Liam whispered to the older guy, snapping Jerry from his dazed.

Jerry blinks and shook his head, releasing a lungful sigh to recompose himself before going down. He stood beside Hayley who quickly hold his hand and rubbed it soothingly.

Rosie picks up the kid between her arms, giving the kid a lot of kisses before hugging her tightly. "You're so cute! You looked like your Dad!"

"And you're so pretty just like my mommy." Akisha tells her which caused Rosie to blushed.

"Oh my God, Liam really taught you well."

"No, Uncle Jerry did." Akisha said proudly. "You know him right?"

The silence of the living room made Jerry's blood as cold as the autumnal air that crept through an open window. He smiled awkwardly when Rosie look at him for a second before flashing her smile, but Jerry knew that it wasn't for real, her eyes telling him otherwise and totally contradictory from her smile before shifting back her eyes at the kid. There was a glint of anger in Rosie's eyes that Jerry couldn't stop but to blame himself, thinking that he deserved that and it's his fault why the blonde look at him like that.

"Yeah, he's a friend of mine, right Jerry?" To describe Rosie's facial expression would be like describing a blank sheet of paper. She could have been in a coma for all the life her face showed. But this was the way she greeted Jerry after four years of missing. Like he was nothing. He was really nothing at all. It was painful to hear the younger girl to call him in his name. Which he never expected to hear from the blonde, again, Jerry couldn't blame her. He forced a smile before nodding his head once.

Liam cleared his throat and retrieved the kid from Rosie. "Why are you disregarding me, I'm your Dad." He said to ease the growing tension around them.

"Yeah, and Leo is your favorite son." Akisha scoffed, causing all of them to laugh except Jerry.

"Liam, I've been gone for four years and yet, you still haven't change!" Rosie scoffed and hit Liam's arm.

"Not everyone needs a change, Rosie." Liam said rolling his eyes and hissed at his daughter after.

"Well, I've changed." Rosie shrugs and even if she didn't said it directly to the brunette guy, Jerrybcan still feel that those words are really meant for him, as if that was an indirect reminder for him that the Rosie from four years ago wasn't there anymore.

"Yeah, people change." Jerry mumbles softly but that didn't miss from Rosie's ears but she ignore it. As much as possible, she didn't want the brunette guy to noticed how it affect her the moment she saw him.

Rosie doesn't want to be hypocrite, but she also doesn't want to show how much the brunette's presence made her awkward and stiff, unlike awhile ago that she looks like a kid who just ate a lot of sugar and couldn't stay in one place.

"So why don't we eat first so Rosie can take a rest?" Juhyun said to cut the awkwardness that started lingering in the air.

"That's much better, come on Jerry. Help me to prepare the table." Seul-ki said and grabbed Jerry's hand and dragged the brunette to the kitchen.

"She really change a lot Seul." Jerry said after they entered the kitchen. he lazily sat down on the stool in front of the countertop and rest his head on top of it. "She became more beautiful."

"I know Jerry, your drool says it all." Seul-ki chuckles and starts preparing the table. He wasn't really expecting Jerry to help him, he just tugged the guy away from the blonde because on how he stood there like a kid, who got his knees wounded and was about to cry.

"She called me by name."

"We heard that."

"And she's so beautiful."

"You already said that." Seul-ki giggles and shook his head. Jerry sighs exasperatedly before frowning deeply.

"By the look on her eyes, I can perceive how much she hate me." Jerry sulk further and tugged his hair frustratingly. "I hate myself for hurting her."

"You know, you won't see the worth of a person until you loss them and came back and already moved on."

Jerry snapped his head at Seul-ki. "You think she had already moved on?" He asked naively.

"Yeah. Because if not, she would probably throw her body at you. You know how much she's into you—before." Seul-ki frankly told him causing Jerry to rest his head against the countertop once again, face feeling the cold hard tile.

"I'm so stupid."

"How ironic that I've heard that phrase from someone, oh yeah right." Seul-ki snapped his fingers. "From Liam." He added mockingly which cause Jerry to puffed an annoying sigh. "Isn't it funny that the two of you exchanged roles?"

"It isn't funny when that scumbag is doing nothing to help me."

"Girlie just came back, give the kid some slack Jerry, I know he will help you, he doesn't know how to stop sticking his nose into someone else relationship, especially when it's his best friend and his wife's best friend."

"Yeah yeah, whatever. After all, I'm Jerry Kim and whatever I want, I get it." Jerry dismissed.

"Well then, good luck with that, if in case thing won't fall into its places. Liam and I and with the rest of the gang, can join you in a long drinking session." Seul-ki tells him and after putting the last dish on the table, smhe exited the kitchen to call the other.

As soon as Rosie stepped inside the kitchen with other couples, their eyes collided for a second and Jerry took that opportunity to flash his gummy smile that everyone would melt but his wide smile turn into frown when Rosie quickly looked away.

"I really missed your cook Juhyun!" Rosie exclaims as she gaze at the dishes on the table, she noticed her favorite dish that even if she didn't ask who cook it, from the smell itself and on how it prepared neatly, she knew it was Jerry. "Oh and roasty! Liam did you made it?"

"Nope, it was Jerry." Liam said nonchalantly while putting his child on a high stool. "Actually, half of the food was Jerry's."

"Oh." Rosie only uttered, refraining herself to steal a glance at the brunette. She took the seat beside Hayley which originally Liam's seat, because sitting beside Jerry will only put them in awkward situation that's why she chose to sit with the crimson haired girl.

Jerry let out a lungful sigh before occupying the seat beside Liam, already expecting the seat positions to be like that. He was eating in silence and minding his own business, thoughts wandering in every possible plan how to take his girl back, but he was pulled out from his own trance when he heard the question from Juhyun.

"Is that an engagement ring?"

Jerry froze for a moment, holding his breath, heart starts hammering inside his chest while waiting for the answer from the blonde.

"You got a sharp eyes there, Juhyun." Rosie said and flashed her smile while staring at the diamond ring on her finger. "But yes, it is."

_________