Anhedonia

The Missing Rose

Loud clatter of utensil on the silverware, heavy thud of a wooden chair that fell on the ground and an audible breathing; ragged and shallow, could be heard when Jerry stood up abruptly, snapping his head at the blonde with his eyes glisten with tears.

"Y-you what?" He asked stuttering, lips starting to quiver.

"I'm engaged." Rosie replied with a shrug, not even daring to take a glance at the brunette guy.

"What a nonchalant answer h-huh?" Jerry scoffed and throw the napkin on the table before he makes his way out from the dining area.

The other couples weren't surprised from the sudden outburst of the guy except Rosie. "What's wrong with him?"

"He just woke up from the wrong side of the bed." Hayley tells her with an apologetic smile. "Don't mind him."

Rosie huffed and chuckled after. If it wasn't for what happened five years ago, he would've think that Jerry was reacting like that because he found out that the blonde was engaged. But no, he knew better-or so she thought?

Liam looked at his wife and excused himself before following the older gut outside. He saw Jerry walking straight to the main door and he quickly reach for the guy's hand.

"Jerry wait!" Liam called and forcefully turned Jerry, it wasn't the sudden outburst made Liam to get surprised, but the blank expression from the guy, indeed, made him stunned.

"What?" Jerry asked coldly.

Liam shook his head before speaking. "Want a drink with me in my studio?"

Jerry chuckled dryly before taking back his hand from Liam's grip. "You better remind your wife that you ain't gonna sleeping with her tonight."

"Copy that." Liam quickly answered and was about to ran back on the dining room but he halt and look back. "Do you want me to call Seul-ki and the gang?"

"Nope, just Seul-ki. I don't want Hirai and Sana to see how devastated I am." Jerry said and waved his hand before turning his heels.

Liam immediately ran back to his wife and looked at Seul-ki meaningfully, the latter promptly nod his head and looked at his side. "Hon, crash at Liam's place tonight a'right? Someone need a hand." He whispered and give his wife a peck on her lips.

Liam walked beside his child and bend over to level her. "Hey kiddo, Daddy can't cuddle you tonight but you won't be alone because aunt Rosie will take my place just for tonight."

"But you promised me!"

"I know I know, just spare me one time, I'll buy you a new toy." Liam bribed but Akisha doesn't want anything but her Dad's cuddle every night until she drifted off. "Please baby?"

"Were you going to work at this hour?" Rosie asked Liam, left brow raising and looking at the younger guy accusingly.

Liam shot his eyes at the blonde and pursed his lips. "Uhm yeah. I need to finish that one project."

Rosie chuckled and shook her head. "Some things never change huh?" She said.

"What?"

"You're still a bad liar Liam."

Lian laugh awkwardly before looking back to his daughter. "We'll go to that one aquarium you kept bugging me about, how's that sound?"

"No." Akisha insisted and crossed her arms abruptly. "Bring me with you!"

"Liam just go, I'll take care of our daughter." Hayley chimes in. "Aki, don't you want aunt Rosie to sleep with you tonight?"

The kid shifted her gaze at the blonde who's smiling at her widely before returning her gaze to Liam. "Ok, but please. Take care of uncle Jerry." She whispered and Liam couldn't help but to smile at the kid's concern for the older guy.

"I will, now eat your food and be a good kid a'right?" Akisha nodded and smiled, Liam peck her lips before straightening his body and turn to face his best friend and wife. "Let's catch up tomorrow Rosie." The former nods at him understandingly and Liam smiled at her thankfully before giving his wife a kiss on her lips. "I'll be back tomorrow." He said and give her another kiss.

"Let's go Liam." Seul-ki called before giving another quick kiss to her wife and her swollen tummy before looking to Rosie. "Sorry Rosie, we'll catch up tomorrow, we just need to.. uhm, finish the project?"

"Just go ahead, I don't mind." Rosie reassures and waved her hands.

When the two guys left, Rosie released a lungful sigh before looking at the older girls. "What the hell is his problem?" She asked, referring to the brunette guy.

"He was just shocked Rosie, you know that he's still into you." Hayley said.

Rosie scoffed and rolled her eyes. "No he's not, he already stopped four years ago."

"How can you say so if you left without even trying to hear him out." Juhyun scolds but Rosie chuckled dryly for thinking that it's Jerry's fault why she had to leave in the first place.

"Stop it, we're not alone." Hayley rebukes, jolting her head at the kid who is looking at them in confuse. "Let's just continue this talk later."

"No, we're not going to have a conversation about this, I did not came back for this matter." Rosie said which caused the older girls to whipped their heads at her. Never have they imagine that Rosie is really over with Jerry. "I came back because I'm getting married in three months and I want you all to come, oh well, if Jerry wants to go, he's still welcome."

"So that's it?" The three older girls whipped their heads at the kid simultaneously. "You left and then you came back and you're getting married." Rosie nods at her. "And you're inviting Uncle Jerry to your wedding?"

"Akisha! Stop meddling in adult's conversation." Hayley stopped her kid and look at Rosie apologetically, the latter smiled back but the kid already made her curious and interested in what she was going to say.

"Go on." She said, encouraging the kid to continue her words.

"That is all, I just wanted to make sure." Akisha shrugs and continued eating her baby food.

"No Aki, tell me." Rosie insist.

"No, we're not going to have this conversation." Akisha tells her before looking at her mom. "Mom, please put me down, I'm done eating." She pleads and Hayley obliges right away. "I'll just wait in my room Aunt Rosie." The kid said, smiling widely before running out of the kitchen, leaving a dumbfounded Rosie Park.

She blink her eyes rapidly and shook her head in astonishment before chuckling. "She got that from Liam."

"I know and I'm sorry Rosie." All Hayley can say while laughing awkwardly, cussing her husband through her mind and keeps reminding herself to chastise her daughter tomorrow.

—

"Jerry stop it." Liam calmly said while pushing Jerry's face away from him.

"No! Give me that!" Jerry scowls, trying to get the bottle of whiskey from Liam's hand. "I swear to God Liam, if you didn't give it back—."

"What are you gon' do—f**k!" He wince in pain when he felt a hard punch on his stomach, causing him to crouch down and Jerry immediately took the bottle from Liam and laugh triumphantly.

"I warned you." Jerry scoffed, staring down at Liam before chugging the bottle.

Seul-ki shook his head while sipping on his own glass and put it down on the table. "Just let him Liam, this is the reason why we came with him."

"I know, but I'm not going to let his liver to suffer."

"Psh! As if you didn't do what I'm doing right now." Jerry said, rolling his eyes. He sat back in the couch and took another swig, he wiped his mouth using the back of his palm and then he repeated all of it once again.

"Jerry."

"No Liam, don't try to stop me. I need this!"

"I wasn't going to stop you, I'm just trying to say that, at least pour out some of it on my glass."

"You're so dork! Why did my best friend fall in love with you?!" Jerry said making Liam to frown but he didn't say any word as he shoved the glass in front of Jerry. "I hate the idea that you have a happy life with my best friend and I don't have with yours."

"Pour me Jerry." Liam ignores him.

"f**k you!"

"Just pour some to my glass so I can say what I want, you know that I'm not good in words unless I'm drunk." Liam tells him. Jerry huffed but still did what he asked to do because even if he didn't want to admit it, he needed to hear Liam, he wants to know what's running inside Liam's mind. "Thank you." Liam said sarcastically when Jery poured drink in his glass, it even spilled because he was really drunk, his vision is blurry, and his mind was dizzy and fuzzy, it was as if his surroundings are spinning.

His head lowered and he sunk on her seat. A silent sob escape from him and followed by sniffles. "Damn it hurts." Jerry mumbles under his breath.

"It sure hurts Jerry, but what can you do? You hurt her first." Seul-ki said. Jerry shot his head's up and rest it on the couch.

"I deserve this."

"Maybe at first yes, because damn it Jerry. What you did was really stupid but we saw how you repent for hurting her, we saw how sincere you are to find her, but it's too late, you're late."

"I know it Seul-ki, stop shoving it down on my throat, fuck." Jerry hisses and Seul-ki laugh at him. "So what can you say Liam? I deserved this pain, right? I hurt your best friend and now she's unintentionally hurting me."

"What? Uhm, yeah." Liam said reluctantly which cause the older guy to punch his shoulder lightly without even looking at him. "I don't know how to say this but to be frank Jerry, it's your fault why she left."

Jerry sat straight and took Liam's glass, pouring an alcohol on it before giving it back to him. "You're still not drunk Liam, c'mon."

Liam shook his head while chuckling before drinking the alcohol. He grimaced when he felt the hot liquid running down on his throat, he sigh loudly and put the glass down on the table. "I'm actually shocked that she's getting married with someone Jerry."

"And?" Jerry pressed, pouring another on Liam's glass.

"And I'm against on it." Seul-ki laughed obnoxiously but Jerry shushed him and the older guy did, by covering his mouth. "But I don't know what am I going to do about it, I'm sorry."

"I love her Liam."

"I know, but we can't just kidnap her to stop the imcoming wedding and the man don't deserve to get hurt."

Jerry laughed throatily and slouch his shoulders. "This is bullshit."

"But they're still not married, you still have chance." Liam said, trying to lift Jerry's confidence that already shattered, just by thinking that Rosie is getting married with someone.

"Stop it Liam, I already know that I've lost her since that day."

"That is so not you Jerry Kim of Kim Royal family who owns half of Korea, where is that man who told me that he's getting back what's his." Seul-ki said.

"She's not mine anymore, she's in someone else."

"Stop sulking there, I didn't came with you just to see you self pitying." Liam uttered in annoyance, taking the bottle from Jerry's and pour his own glass. "There's still a chance until she's not tied with whoever that man is."

"Liam, let's give up."

"No Jerry, I'm not going to let you suffer, you love her and you already regret everything you've done, now is the time to show her that you repent everything!"

Jerry look at Seul-ki, but the latter shrugs his shoulder and sip on his glass. As if he was telling him that he wants the drunk Liam, and so be it and faced the younger guy's stubbornness, alone.

"But Liam, you said that the man don't deserve to get hurt."

"You don't as well, you've been hurting for four years, and I'm not having it anymore, you helped me when I'm in your situation and now it's payback time." Liam grins and chugged straight from the bottle he was holding, completely drunk.

"How?" Jerry asked, trying to get a head start from Liam for what he was going to do, because if they'll ask him, he doesn't have any f*****g idea how to get back Rosie.

"You're still on her unit right?" Liam asked and he nodded. "If she told you to move out, ask her to repay you for the bill, four years are long enough and I know that you spent a lot of money when you're staying there."

"But money is not—."

"I know, you're rich as f**k but does it matter? If you want to make a move to get your girl back, stay with her under the same roof."

Seul-ki and Jerry exchanged glances before looking at Liam ludicrously. As if they just heard a ridiculous idea from a drunk person .

"What if she repay me? What am I going to do next? And don't you think she'll be mad at me because of that?" Jerry asked. Liam's idea is not bad at all, but thinking that Rosie might feel offended is what her concern.

"Jerry, stop being pessimistic!" Liam hisses at him with a light slap on his arm.

"I'm not being pessimistic stupid! I'm being realistic, she's not that broke not to pay me back with those money, my concern is what she might think."

"Then act like you're broke!"

"But I'm not?" Jerry said as a matter of fact. Of course he's not broke, he owns his own clothing company after resigning as a professor in SNU.

"Damn it Jerry, do you still want to get your girl?"

"Of course!"

"Then do it!" Liam exclaims, throwing his hands in the air.

"Wait, what if she asked you to adopt me instead?"

"Then I'm going to say no, I'm with you on this because I know, I can feel it from the bottom of my heart, she still love you." Liam said, his hands on his chest, clutching it and nodding his head.

"Stupid idea." Seul-ki mumbles while shaking his head. "Am I going to reject him too when he come to my house?"

"As you should Seul, I'm not letting Jerry down this time."

"You're drunk Liam." Seul-ki said and lean over to take the bottle away from Liam.

"Stupid idea but what if it'll work?" Jerry asked hopefully. Yes it was stupid, but if it helps him to get Rosie back, he will try it. He's too desperate now, after knowing that he might lose Rosie forever if he did nothing quickly.

Seul-ki stared at him for a second before sighing loudly. "Ok then, I'll talk to my wife about this, just please. If this plan didn't work, we need to accept it, especially you Jerry, you need to accept that Rosie isn't yours anymore."

"I know Seul-ki, the thank you." Jerry said with a small smile curving on his lips.

"I'm just approving this plan because I want you to be happy, and this kid." Seul-ki nudge his head at Liam who is now half asleep on Jerry's side, slurring some words that they couldn't understand. "He badly wants you to be happy."

Jerry's smile grew wider and patted Liam's head. "Thank you Liam."

"I still hate you tho." Liam mumbles before letting himself drifting off due for taking too much hard alcohol.

"Stupid." Jerry mumbles while shaking his head. "It's still mutual feelings."

—

After changing his clothes into much comfortable pajamas, Rosie head straight to Akisha's room, knocking at the door before peering out her head. "Hey."

Akisha whipped her head at the door and smiled toothily. "Come in."

Rosie pushed the door widely and shut it closed behind her after. "Can I— uhm can I sleep with you?"

"Of course, Dad told me that you were going to replace him for tonight."

"Yeah." Rosie utter softly but still stayed at her spot. "Aren't you mad at me?"

"Why should I? I've actually missed you even if I hadn't know you because you left when I was still a fetus."

Rosie laugh at Akisha's words, she really is, Hayley and Liam's daughter. "Actually, you're not a fetus when I left, you were already four months old." She said while walking near the bed. She crawled into the bed and slipped her one foot under the blanket but she paused when she remember the book that Hayley kept reminding to read at the kid. "Wait, where is the book?"

"There." Akisha pointed at the shelf wherein several books are compiled in neat position. Rosie climbed off of the bed and pad towards the shelf.

"What book do you want me to read for you?" She asked.

"I want my favorite book, the one Uncle Jerry did only for me."

Rosie stopped from eyeing the books and snapped her head at the kid. "She wrote a book for you?"

"Yeah, it was about a Princess who left the prince."

"A what?" Rosie asked snickering.

"A couple who takes different paths. It was a sad story tho, but I still like it." Akisha shrugs and look up to Rosie. "He wrote that when he was in Australia."

"He went to Australia?!"

"Yes, he went in every corner of the world just to find the gem."

"A gem?"

Akisha nodded her head eagerly before speaking. "He told me that he was looking for his precious gem that he lost four years ago."

Rosie drops her jaw, her mouth slightly apart while looking at the kid in stunned surprise. "H-he looked for me?"

"No, he didn't told me that it was you, it's a gem."

What she heard from the kid was so out of character of Jerry, so far from what she knew of him, she just stared at the kid open mouthed. Her brain formulated no thoughts other than to register that she was shocked. She closed her mouth, then looked at her toes before glancing back up to catch Akisha's eyes who is now staring at her quizzically. "Ok" was all she could say before looking back at the piled books on the shelf and look for this one particular book and when she took it. She bit her lower lip when she saw the title of the mini book.

The Missing Rose

She doesn't want to assume that the story inside the thin book was about her, but there's a side of her telling her that Jerry wrote their story in that book, she stared at it for second before sighing and pad back towards the bed. She sat beside the kid, back resting on the headboard before opening the book.

"Once upon a time, there was a Princess named Rosie...." paused and gulp before continuing. "and a prince named Jerry. They were so in love with each other—wait! This is not a good book for a kid like you!"

"I'm already four year old kid turning five next month, what's wrong with the two people loving each other?"

"Wh-what?"

"Oh man! I forgot that you're conservative."

"I—."

"Anyway, just please continue, You've already started, there's no turning back." Akisha said, cutting Rosie off and settled in comfortable position. Rosie sigh and shook her head, the kid was right tho, her parents are Liam and Hayley, who had a tragic life before they got together, and Jerry must've been wanting the kid to be open at the idea that not everything is always happy ending.

Rosie cleared her throat before proceeding. "They were so happy and no one can take them apart from each other. Princess Rosie likes to baby her and Prince Jerry always making what the other princess want. If she wants to eat, Prince Jerry will buy food or cook even in the middle of the night, if she wants to watch a movie, Prince Jerry will take her to the nearest mall, if she wants to stay inside the house, they will stay inside and cuddle all day, if she wants to travel, Prince Jerry will take her in every beautiful town and he was contented just to see the smile on Princess Rosie, he loves her so much, so much that he decided to...." Rosie stopped from reading and wiped her tears just before it could stream down, she closed the book, which cause the kid to whine. "I need to go in the bathroom." She excused herself and ran to the bathroom without letting Akisha to utter anything.

Just exactly the moment she shut the door behind her, her tears dripped down but she wiped it immediately. She pad in front of the mirror and gripped the edge of the sink tightly.

"No, I'm not going to let myself get affected again, I've spent four years of my life trying to forget him and I did, stop crying Rosie!" She scolds herself in the mirror because her tears keep streaming down. "You've had enough and you are not going back to your past! He's nothing for you, he hurt you! Right, he broke you four years ago and getting affected now is because you're still mad on how he—."

"You're still mad at him, so it means that you're still into him." Rosie got startled when she heard a tiny voice from her back, she saw Akisha leaning on the door frame with her arms crossed across her chest, she didn't even noticed the kid opened the door. "Why are you talking to yourself?"

"Why are you opening the door without knocking?"

"I heard you talking so I got curious." Akisha shrugs, as if seeing Rosie in such a mess situation is not a big deal to her. "Was the book really that sad and got you into tears?"

"I'm not crying."

"Yeah, and Uncle Jerry didn't too, when his eyes are all puffy."

"Stop talking about him, what do you know about us?" Rosie asked, the irritation starts pricking on her skin. She hates hearing Jerry's name, she hates the fact that Jerry's name alone can make her heart felt a pang. She hates Jerry; or so she thought.

"I know nothing, just assumptions."

"Assumptions or not, stop saying his name at me because I have nothing to do with him." Rosie dismissed and picks up the kid between her arms, they both pad at the bookshelf. "Why don't you just pick another book, the one with happy ending?" She asked.

"Ok then, I want this one." Akisha said after pulling one book from the shelf.

"What book is that?"

"The ugly Prince Liam and the beautiful Princess Hayley." Rosie laugh obnoxiously when she heard the title but she stopped when she heard Jerry's name again from the kid. "Uncle Jerry wrote my parents story."

She sigh before putting down the kid on her bed and tucked her under the duvet before lying down beside her. "Ok then, I know this one had their happy ending because there was you."

"Yeah." Akisha said while staring at the ring on Rosie's finger. "You are really getting married."

Rosie glance at the kid before nodding her head. "Yeah, He's a great man."

"Do you love him?"

"Wh-what? Why'd you asked that?"

"So that's a no huh?"

"No! Of course I love him, I wouldn't have said Yes if I don't love him." Rosie said while chuckling nervously.

"You should've said that in the first time I asked you, because whenever I ask uncle Jerry if he misses you, he will always said yes immediately."

"Stop it, I told you, I have nothing to do with Jerry. he's only my friend, aren't you're too young to have this conversation with me?"

"And aren't you're too old to lie at the kid?" Rosie was astounded, her mouth popped open multiple times, words doesn't want to go out, she shakes her head in disbelief and sigh exasperatedly.

"I'm not lying, I really love him. He was there when your favorite uncle abandoned me. He was the one who helped me, when I was devastated and fragile, he was there when I needed someone to hold onto, he was there and not your favorite uncle."

"You don't love him, you just want to repay all the good things he did for you." Akisha said with certainty.

"What milk do you take? You're too... urgh.." Rosie groans in defeat, having this argument with a five year old kid is hilarious, it's as if she was really a grown up woman stuck inside a toddler body. "Let's stop talking about him."

"One last question."

"What?"

"Do you see yourself in the future with that man?"

"What kind of question is that and it's coming from a kid?"

"That's a no, so yeah. I'm going to sleep, please cuddle me?" Akisha said nonchalantly but her eyes became soft when she asked for a cuddle, Rosie shook her head and sigh before wrapping her arm at the kid and Akisha snuggles in.

"Yeah, I don't."

_______