Hidden Lycan. (COMPLETE)

Chapter Forty Four

It's been two days and having eight men in the house turned out to be exhausting, maddening, insane, unbearable, and I can't even explain what else. It was a constant battle every day on who is the toughest, who is the strongest the most dominant. The testosterone that that permeated the air daily was suffocating. Even my Kitsune pup, who I decided to name Perran, was growing agitated with everything. The poor thing paced along after the men chattering and barking like he was scolding them. As much as I tried I couldn't ignore them, I couldn't get away from them, I couldn't avoid them. They were everywhere. Everywhere I turned one of them seemed to just pop into existence. 

Steel and Eli were the only two who seemed to be able to keep their wits together. They watched the others with a mix of amusement and curiosity as the others continued their contests. I also noticed Steel almost never took his eyes away from me. His teal eyes followed every move I made, followed every direction I decided to walk. He barely spoke, just quietly observed. And that just unnerved me. 

It has only been two days and I feel myself reaching a breaking point. I just don't think I could handle it anymore. Always being around one of them, never having time to myself, always being watched. And listening to the never ending bickering and arguing, watching as they sparred and wrestled. Even once a fight broke out between Alaric and Felix. I just couldn't take it anymore. 

"ENOUGH!" I bellowed. The power behind my voice shattering the windows making everyone duck and cover their heads. Shadows billowed around me. The shadows pulsed angrily around me as they formed a circle around me and sprouted tentacles. The wispy limbs swatting and swaying around me daring any of them to come closer. 

"I've had enough. Enough of the bickering and fighting. Enough arguing and contests. I've had enough of all of you constantly watching me like I'm going to take off. Just stop." I demanded. My anger was growing with every word, with every breath. My shoulder heaved, my nostrils flared as I glared at the men. Each of them staring at me wide eyed in turn. 

"Fallon, calm down." Alaric said gently. My eyes snapped to him and I laughed manically. "Calm down? You want me to calm down? Ha! That's funny. You and Felix just got into a fight yesterday. Did either of you calm down when I asked? No. You didn't." My eyes drifted to Lucas and Anton "And you two. How many times did I ask you to stop brawling in the house? How many times did I ask all of you to stop all of it? And now, now when I lose my temper I get all of your attention? And it's only so you can ask me to calm down?" 

I shook my head, my hands balling into fists. "Fallon." Steel's voice pulled my eyes to his. His face was calm. He showed no signs he was frightened or worried, he just approached me with his hands raised in front of him. "I won't ask you to calm down." He said. "But I will ask you to look around you. Look at your men and the men who are here to help you." I did as he asked, looking around at all of their faces. They all looked ashamed and frightened. 

Frightened. Alaric, Lucas and Xavier were frightened. Of me. Why did this always come back on me. I shook my head, defeat consuming me. Take me somewhere, please! I pleaded with the shadows, wrapping my arms around my middle. 

The shadows turned from arms swaying around me, to a whirlwind, encasing me inside. I could hear the shouts from beyond the whirling but couldn't bring myself to care. I'd done something I never wanted to do, I made people I loved scared of me. They were truly frightened. Even now, if I concentrated on the bonds, underneath their concern I could still feel their fear. And all because this one time I decided I'd had enough, this one time I decided I couldn't take it anymore. 

Somehow Perran got to me, diving nose first through the barrier and into my chest. I nuzzled into him as he burrowed his wet nose into my neck. It seemed like seconds later the shadows left me, leaving me looking around me in awe and surprise. 

The ocean spread out in front of me, the moon peaking just over the horizon. The gentle breeze sprayed me with salty mist that chilled my skin, but I smiled anyway. I always wanted to go to the beach, always wanted to see the ocean, see how it looked to watch the waves beat against the shore. I wanted to feel the misty breeze, feel the water on my skin. 

I smiled at Perran, a giggle bubbling from me as I tugged my shoes off and ran to the edge of the water. It splashed against my feet and legs, soaking through the ends of my dress. The water was cold but not uncomfortable. My head dropped back and I smiled, finally able to relax even though I had no idea where I was. Because at this moment it didn't matter, at this moment I got to enjoy something I've always wanted to without having to worry about anyone other than myself. 

I looked around and caught sight of a small pier. Deciding to make my way over to it, I picked my shoes up and walked along the shore line. Perran jumped and played in the water, occasionally chasing after a fish here and there. I'm glad he was having fun as well, poor thing deserves it after the couple of days he's had chasing after the guys. I did wonder why the shadows brought me here though. I'd never been to a beach before, never even seen one other than in pictures. I shrugged, sitting on the edge of the pier with my feet in the water and stared over at the endless ocean, the water almost looked black under the moon light. 

"You know the king makes sure we can always find our charges, right?" Steel's steady voice says from behind me bursting the small bubble of peace I'd formed. "What are you doing here?" I asked flatly, never turning to look at him. "To bring you home." He told me. His heavy foot steps growing closer. "No." I said firmly, shaking my head. "I'm not going back. At least not right now." 

My shoulders slumped and I dropped my head. "Did you know I spent the better part of sixteen years wishing I could see the ocean just once? I always thought it wouldn't be possible, I never thought I'd escape. And when I did and found the guys I was so close to death it really didn't matter anyway. I never imagined it would be so beautiful, so peaceful. Peace is hard to find lately. True peace I mean. Peace not only of mind but of body and soul." 

I stopped talking, looking at the ripples my feet made in the water as they moved back and forth. The motion reminding me even the smallest of actions can cause the largest reaction. It's funny how life works sometimes. "Fallon, what did you mean when you told the king that you knew too well how the past can haunt a person?" Steel dropped heavily beside me, his teal eyes looking over at me. 

"My past isn't something I like to talk about. It's terrible and bloody and horrific. But to shorten it. I was held captive since I was six years old. Beaten, tortured, experimented on. The different methods they used is something from nightmares. But I somehow managed to escape, that's all that matters now." I said closing the subject. "Did the others follow you?" I asked looking over to him. 

"No. I am the oldest, so the king gave me the ability to locate you. The others don't know. Though they'd never find you here, you are very good at hiding." He said nudging me with his elbow. His weak attempt at teasing made me smile. "Well honestly, I don't even know where here is." I admitted. "It's just where they dropped me off." 

"Are you ready to go back?" Steel asked gently. "No, not really. But I guess I don't really have a choice." I murmured casting my eyes back to the water. "Fallon, why did you run?" Steel asked. I chuckled dryly. "I did the one thing I never wanted to do. I felt it as much as I saw it. I frightened my men. They were scared of me not for me. That isn't a good feeling to have." I admitted under my breath. "open your bond Fallon." Steel urged. 

I furrowed my brow but did as he asked. The breath was knocked out of me with the whirling emotions. Fear, pain, regret, worry, sadness, concern. So many emotions all rolled into one big  boulder hit me at once. It was painful to say the least. "Fine." I conceded, getting to my feet and gathering Perran into my arms. "Let's go." 

Steel took my hand in his and as if I blinked, I was standing in the living room again. What the hell was that? How? I looked up to Steel with wide eyes but he only smirked at me. I resisted the urge to growl and just glared at him. 

People shouting my name snapped my attention away from Steel, just in time to be all but plowed down by my men. They each took turns hugging and kissing me before passing me to the next in line like I was some kind of toy. I wanted to be mad about it, but I couldn't find it in me to be. When the last of them was done I stepped back and looked over all four of them, before moving to look over the four guardians. 

Steel and Eli were both giving their 'pack' their own version of hard glares. "We're sorry Fallon." Anton started. "We didn't mean for things to get so out of hand." Alaric stepped forward pulling me into him and nuzzling into my hair. "It won't happen again." Alaric assured me. 

I sighed and wrapped my arms around Alaric resting my head on his chest. "It's okay. But I want some time to myself sometimes too." I said pulling away and looking over all of them. "I spent the better part of twenty years in isolation, being alone is kind of a necessity for me to keep sane." My men nodded, but the guardians seemed more hesitant. "I won't leave the property or even the yard." I tell them. "I just enjoy time to myself." 

The four guardians reluctantly agreed, nodding their heads stiffly. "Good, now that, that's all settled I'm going to bed." I turned on my heels only to be stopped by a hand on my elbow. I looked over my shoulder and quirked a brow. "Where are you sleeping tonight?" Alaric asked. I smiled gently and hugged him. "Tonight I am sleeping with Eli." I said. "I'll sleep with you tomorrow night." I felt Alaric nod against the top of my head before he kissed my forehead and let me go. 

I yawned, and clicked my tongue for Perran to follow me. The guys didn't like when Perran slept with us, but they didn't complain too much. They all know Perran would be almost impossible to separate from me. Perran trotted behind me, flicking all nine of his tails at the guys mockingly. I just laughed. That little kitsune was pushing his luck doing things like that.