A Fate Renewed

Chapter 22-Tell Me

(Amira)

I heard a loud banging on my cell door as it slowly swung open.

It was Alden, his light illuminating my cell as he slowly placed a tray in front of me.

"Good morning." I spoke quietly, I hadn't fully gotten to know Alden yet but he had been the person I saw the most.

Alden nodded his head in response before leaving the room swiftly, not even uttering a word as I glanced up, seeing the light he left behind so I could eat my meal.

He had been doing that for the past few days. It only lasted for about ten minutes but with how hungry I would get, that was more than enough time.

I would usually eat the same thing, hot stew and occasionally some bread. There was one time I had cold porridge for two days and that was when I told Kamaris to pick up his own fork, and that didn't go well too well.

To really drive his point across, he only gave me a fork to eat the porridge with..which honestly made me laugh..he was so freaking petty I swear..

Sometimes he just got under my skin so badly, I couldn't help but talk back and get myself in trouble...

I lay in my cell, trying to remember what it was like to be outside as I ran through those memories of the days I would hike in the trees and breathe fresh air.

It all felt like a different life, a different time..it was as if my old self were some dream that I had long ago and now it was all slowly fading away.

I tried to remember my mother, her smell, and her laugh..the way she would braid my hair on Sundays or how she would always turn the music up really loud while cleaning.

I even tried to remember my father, how he talked, and even what he looked like. It was there, but I couldn't see it..no matter how hard I closed my eyes, I couldn't see them anymore.

So I would just lay on this thin mattress and wait for my turn to serve the dark lord.

How did I get to be so pathetic?

I was now living to serve Kamaris one freaking meal every night.

It was almost laughable, but sadly I began looking forward to it...

My heart would start to race from the sound of the door creaking open, signaling that it was time to come out of this dark cell, letting me walk past those open windows...to see other people even though I didn't talk, just knowing I'm not alone in the darkness like before was more than enough.

Seeing Kamaris was bittersweet, sometimes when I glanced at him, those memories would come flooding back from that time in the dream world.

Then he would open his mouth and annoyance would fill me with how rude he could be..he is such an arrogant jerk..how could I fall for someone like that?! Seriously..

Tonight I was given a purple dress, it was pretty much two strips of fabric with lace on both sides..showing off my naked skin..

As long as it covered my lower region I didn't care. The worst so far was a tube top and mini skirt that barely hid anything. If I wasn't wearing underwear I would have just been naked.

I slipped on the clothes and walked through the hallway, ready to get away from my cell for the evening as excitement began to fill me.

Suddenly out of nowhere, Gideon appeared in front of us, making me blink my eyes as Alden quickly stepped between us.

"What are you doing here Gideon? You know you're not supposed to be here during this time of day." Alden stated coldly, annoyance filling his voice.

Gideon laughed before patting Alden on the shoulder, surprising me with how passive he was being.

"Come on Alden, I just wanted to make sure Amira is okay. I haven't seen her in a week." He said while peeking over Alden's shoulder and locking eyes with me.

He smiled brightly, causing me to smile back shyly, not wanting to be rude. Gideon had been nothing but nice to me, so why wouldn't I be kind back? Then I remembered his broken hand and guilt filled me.

"Gideon, I don't want you to get in trouble." I spoke softly, causing Alden to stiffen, realizing I probably shouldn't have spoken at all.

Gideon chuckled deeply before quickly trying to push past Alden and failing. His face grew frustrated as he spoke once more.

"Kamaris will get bored with this soon. Then I can come and visit you anytime." He added excitedly.

For some reason, my stomach dropped from what he said. I'm not sure why exactly but his intense gaze made me start to feel uncomfortable. Maybe it was just because I knew Kamaris was waiting and we were taking too long. He hated when I was late..

I nodded my head, smiling politely as Alden gripped my upper arm before pulling me along and leaving Gideon quickly behind. I was about to glance back when Alden spoke.

"Do not..." He said through clenched teeth, causing me to stiffen. I hadn't heard Alden speak to me like that before, so I made sure to do what he said.

I peered ahead of us, now seeing Kamaris leaning on a wall next to the dining room with his arms crossed and his expression filled with anger.

"You are late." He hissed at me, the frustration filling his whole body...I swear I could see shadows vibrating off of his skin.

"I'm sorry my lord." I rushed out before bowing my head. I hated calling him my lord, in my mind I made my lord a cover name for asshole...so every time I used it, I would laugh internally.

Kamaris turned swiftly before looking at the door and then at me...obviously not so subtly hinting at something.

I rushed forward, opening it for him and stepping to the side so he could walk in.

I just knew I would be dealing with one of his mood swings tonight...

Kamaris walked to the table, looking at the chair and then at me...it took everything in me not to roll my eyes as I glided over quickly before pulling the chair out for him as he sat down.

I tried to scoot it in but he was too heavy for me to push and I swear I heard him chuckle as I struggled, feeling relieved as he ended up sliding it in himself.

"You are like a damn child I swear." He scoffed, making me narrow my eyes at the back of his head.

I'm the child?! Anger started to fill me as I went to grab the wine bottle and walked next to him.

Kamaris suddenly reached up and gripped my wrist firmly before peering into my eyes.

"What did my brother say to you?" He asked roughly, his grip tightening with each word.

I blinked my eyes innocently, not realizing he had seen us as I now knew that had to be why Alden told me not to look back.

"He just wanted to see how I was doing." I answered quickly, trying to pull my wrist free from his grasp.

"What else.." He said through clenched teeth, obviously knowing his brother better than I did.

I looked at Kamaris, guilt filling me from the idea of telling him what Gideon had said..would he do something to punish him?

I looked away, keeping my mouth shut...not wanting to enrage him even more as I swear I could feel the anger pulsing off of him..he was so damn temperamental I swear.

Just then he pulled me down, bringing me into his lap, and caused me to yelp while my eyes widened from shock.

"Do you like my brother?" He asked me curiously, his mouth mere inches away from my throat as I swallowed hard, looking straight ahead at the door. I could feel his warm breath fanning against me, making my skin pebble with goosebumps.

"I don't even know him really." I whispered..it was the truth..I had only met him a few times.

He seemed much nicer than Kamaris would ever be though.

Suddenly Kamaris's hand settled on my thigh, gripping me roughly and causing me to jump. He had never touched me like this before..I didn't know how to react. Intrusive thoughts flooded my mind as I pushed them all away in an instant.

"Do you want to f**k him?" He asked me in a serious tone and I whipped my head around to look at him as if he were crazy. I knew what he was doing, he was trying to make me uncomfortable...

Fine, two can play that game.

"What if I do? Who I'm intimate with is none of your business." I said, regretting it instantly once I saw the dark look in his eyes..why did I say that..what the hell is wrong with me!

"None of my business." He laughed, his voice deeper than ever as I stiffened on his lap

I don't know why I even said that. I obviously had no interest in Gideon like that...I just wanted to piss Kamaris off.

Suddenly he reached out and gripped my neck, bringing his mouth mere inches from my throat.

"You seem to forget that I own you, Amira. No one touches you without my permission, even the handmaids." He hissed, rage filling him as I swallowed hard.

I nodded my head, that fear filling me once more as I felt like a complete i***t, why did I have to talk back? Me and my big mouth..

Fine..I will give him what he wants.

"He said you would get bored of me and soon he could come to visit me anytime he wishes." I blurted, unsure why it even mattered...Kamaris leaned closer to my ear.

"It will be a cold day in hell when I let that happen." He growled and lifted me up before pushing me off of him swiftly, causing me to fall to the floor.

"Do you know why I won't let any man touch you?" He asked me, lifting his glass up as he waited for me to get up and pour his wine for him.

I quickly reached for the bottle, gripping it tightly as I began to pour.

"Because you don't deserve to feel pleasure or the touch from another man. You deserve to only feel what I have for you. Disgust and repulsion, you aren't worthy to be f****d. Even by the lowest of men." He said with hatred in his voice and a smile on his face.

I kept my head down, his words hurting me deeper than anything I had felt in my life. How he viewed me, how he hated me so much. I poured his wine and stood back, defeat filling me as I was done.

I wanted to crawl back to the little hole I came from and cry myself to sleep. Kamaris smiled wickedly, his eyes gleaming from the sight of me. Soon the food magically arrived on the table as I lifted the lids..waiting for him to tell me what he wanted.

"I have lost my appetite. Go back to your cell." He said roughly, his eyes burning into me as I nodded, waiting for the kiss he always gives me.

To my shock, he just walked past me. Not even looking at me once..I should have been relieved but honestly, it was another low blow.

It was his way of driving the point across that I was so disgusting he didn't even want to touch me.

I walked towards the double doors, my head hanging down as I didn't even bother looking towards anyone. I could feel Alden's glances but I felt so disgusted with myself. Kamaris's words echoed through me, was I truly not worthy of being touched by a man? Was I not worthy of love? I couldn't help the tears that filled my eyes, the idea of never being loved filling me. I tried to wipe them away, sniffling softly as embarrassment filled me.

Alden led me to the cell, his light illuminating my room as I walked in.

"Please take the light with you." I whispered softly, not wanting to be able to see any part of myself.

Alden hesitated for a moment, watching as I curled up on the mattress, my hands covering my face as I felt unworthy of anyone's gaze even. I cried all night, the words filling me as I tried to gain control.

Was that why he didn't take me as a lover? Even though I was grateful, did I disgust him that much though? Was I nothing more than a woman he wanted to torture for the rest of her life?

I didn't serve Kamaris for the next three days, he refused to see me. His way of driving the point across even further...