His Blind Mate

Chapter 02 No More Colors

~ Luan ~

I woke up to the sound of continuous beeping. It was and was starting to give me a headache. Am I dead yet? I actually didn’t mind. I could finally be with my Mom and Dad, the only people in the pack who truly loved me. I remembered allowing myself to get hit by a truck – I doubt I survived that.

I felt weak all over but the darkness covering my eyes was assuring. It had always been my friend ever since my brothers and I moved to the packhouse. In the dark, I was alone. No one could see me, and if they couldn’t see me, they couldn’t find me. If they couldn’t find me, they couldn’t lay their hands on me. It was peaceful in the dark, especially when everyone was fast asleep.

The soft ethereal moonlight seeping through the small circular window of my room unto the hardwood floors was a calming sight. I’d often sit on the floor with my blanket wrapped around me and stare up at the moon. That way, my parents could see me. And I’d talk to them for hours on end, knowing that I wouldn’t receive a reply.

I whispered so no one would hear. I’d tell them how much I missed them and how well my brothers and the pack treated me, so they wouldn’t have to worry about me. For a long time, I had come to accept that if they were watching, they wouldn’t let the abuse happen to me. But it didn’t mean they couldn’t hear me, so I decided to lie to them. I told them stories of how my days went by, that I had lots of friends and my brothers spoiled me so much. They were always worrying about me over the smallest things so lying to them would assure them that their children were doing alright.

The beeping kept interrupting my thoughts. I forced my arms to move and cover my ears to drown out the sound. That was when I heard someone call me.

“Luan?” the voice said. It was familiar, but I couldn’t tell whose it was.

Wait, if I’m dead, why am I hearing this voice?

I felt something circle around my upper arm. I jerked my arm away from that grip.

“Cupcake,” he said.

It couldn’t be. I’m… I’m alive?

Another voice called my name. I tensed upon hearing it. Samuel.

“Luan, I’m so sorry,” he said, choking on his words. He had never said those words to me before.

“Luan,” another said. It was Siel. “You came back to us!”

A hand touched my wrist. Goosebumps rose on my skin and my gut clenched. I jerked my arm away from that hand. Huge, calloused, and long bony fingers. I could tell who it belonged to with my eyes closed.

I tried to open my eyes, but… I couldn’t. They wouldn’t open! I tried… hard… but they remained close. My heart thumped aloud, and my breathing hastened. They were near me; my eyes wouldn’t open. I didn’t want them near me!

“Luan, what’s wrong?” the Alpha asked, placing a hand on my shoulder. I irked away from his touch and scooted over to the other side of the bed. “Cupcake?”

I can’t open my eyes. Why can’t I open my eyes?

I dragged myself across the smooth sheets – mine were never this smooth, always crinkly and rough.

“Careful,” he said. It was a lie. I kept moving, then my hand landed on nothing and, I yelped as I fell backwards.

Someone caught me. “It’s alright,” said Samuel.

I was helped to sit on the bed again and I immediately moved away from him. He grabbed my wrist and I waited for the pain. “Luan, please calm down.”

I couldn’t calm down! How could he expect me to calm down? I yanked my hand from his grip, then moved upwards the bed. I dragged my butt on the sheets with my hands behind me and my feet kicking on the sheets. Tears streamed down my face. They’ll hurt me.

They would hurt me for attempting to run away. I caused them trouble. Needles pricked my stomach, and I felt like throwing up.

“Luan, it’s alright,” said the Alpha. “No one will hurt you.”

It was a lie. He was going to hurt me too. Everyone did. His father let the abuse happen. His mother didn’t care. No one had ever helped me. No one cared about me. Only my parents did. My brothers turned their backs on me and caused me the most pain.

They were lying. Someone grabbed hold of my ankle and I screamed and fluttered my legs until the hand let go.

“Luan, please calm down,” said Siel. His voice was pleading, weak, unlike the usual demanding and growling manner.

There was something wrong with them. I hugged my knees to my chest and sobbed. I couldn’t see them… I couldn’t see anything. I couldn’t protect myself. I couldn’t run away.

Why didn’t I just die?

“Cupcake, it’s alright,” said the Alpha, his voice gentle. I didn’t understand why he kept calling me that.

I bit my lip as I cried. If I cried aloud, they’d hit me harder to shut me up. Samuel touched my knees, and I moved my arms to the sides of my head. This was it. He was going to punish me for being a pain. He was going to spout hurtful words, further deepening the emotional scars.

My chest tightened as I waited for the first hit. All I could do was protect my head. The beeping got louder, and I muffled a scream. He was watching me. They were all watching me.

I could picture the malice in their eyes. The pleasure that lit up in them when I screamed and pleaded for them to stop, when the sound of flesh getting bruised and cut echoed in the room. They were bidding their time; they enjoyed watching me suffer. And my weak self could only cry and wait.

The anticipation was killing me, and they knew it. They loved it. My whole body shook nonstop, and my breathing was shorter and faster. I waited for the first hit, which was to be followed by many more.

Then I felt someone’s hands on my shoulders. I held my breath, ignoring the tingling that arose from the where his hands were on.

“It’s alright now, Luan,” he said, then he pulled me down. I felt his arms force themselves between my folded knees, and his arm around my shoulders. I whimpered, expecting him to throw me on the floor when he lifted me up.

But I didn’t fall. I wasn’t thrown down, nor was I pushed against a wall. I found myself getting lowered into what felt like flesh. He raised my upper body upwards, my right shoulder touching something hard. His arm left my thighs and repositioned themselves so he could pull me closer… to him?

The Alpha began to rock back and forth, moving me along with him. “It’s alright now,” he whispered gently. “No one will hurt you. No one will ever hurt you again, my cupcake.”

Samuel didn’t touch me again.

He rocked me slowly to comfort me, his hands still holding me but not in a tight grip. Weird sensations crept from where his hands were. He whispered to me, softly, in a voice that had no tone of anger. He told me that everything would be alright, that no one would hurt me, that I was safe, that he would always protect me.

Dare I believe him? Of course not.

Where was he? Where was he when I almost died multiple times from their beatings? Where was he when I cried myself to sleep and was kept awake by their insults and harsh words? Where was he when I needed him most? Where was he – I’d never seen before, not even once. The Alpha and his family lived a distance from the packhouse, and I wasn’t allowed to venture far into the woods.

Why would he care? Why was he comforting me? Why was he being gentle? Why was he talking to me like I was a person?

I wanted to lash out at him and throw these questions in his face. My fists shook in anger, and the familiar stinging was building behind my eyes.

“I’m here now,” he said, pulling me closer to him. “I’ll always be here with you.”

I didn’t know what came over me. My hands reached out and grabbed his shirt. I pulled myself closer to him, afraid that he’d let go and I’d wake up from this dream. I didn’t want to. I wanted to stay here.

I buried my head on his chest and he hugged me. His arms felt hard and strong. He smelled like spearmint and lemon and mint, like my favorite drink. It calmed me.

“I’m never leaving you, cupcake,” he whispered, and I felt something on the top of my head.

A strangled cry left my throat. I didn’t care if he heard me. He wouldn’t hurt me. He wouldn’t kick me in the face because I was crying. I clutched at the fabric and cried like I had never cried before. My tears wet his shirt, but he didn’t say anything. He whispered sweet nothings as I wailed my heart out.

No one could hurt me here. This was my dream. This wasn’t a nightmare. His arms protected me, and I was safe with him. I couldn’t see his face. I tried to open my eyes, but to no avail. He didn’t seem to mind.

He might not even be the Alpha. He could just be a figment of my imagination and I was alright with it. I had never cried the way I wanted to. Knowing he was with me, knowing my brothers have disappeared from this dream, I could let everything out.

And so, I let the tears fall freely. I let out coughs and wails and sobs until my throat felt hoarse and my eyes stung. Snot blocked my nostrils and I breathed though my mouth. I hiccupped as I calmed down, my eyes feeling swollen.

He continued to rock me and comfort me, his hands not moving an inch from where they were.

I eventually quieted and breathed deeply through my mouth. My eyes felt heavy now and I felt more tired than when I thought I woke up. Keeping my palms on his shirt, I followed the contour of his torso until the back and hugged him tight. I’m about to fall asleep.

“Stay,” I whispered, knowing within my heart that he wouldn’t because this was a dream.

When I wake up, for real, he’d be gone. This dream would be the last and I’d wake to my reality – a nightmare.

“Always,” he replied, hugging me back.

I nodded and inhaled his scent. I didn’t want to forget – his voice, his scent, the feel of his strong arms around me. I imprinted them in my memory, refusing to forget a single thing about him.

I felt my body relaxing, giving in to the exhaustion.

“Sleep,” he whispered. “I’ll be here when you wake up.”

No, you won’t. But will you meet me every time I sleep?

XXX