Not your honey (Leila Series #1) {IN PROGRESS}

6. Please, just leave me alone

    I stand in between the two men who catch my interest, an old love that I will never forget, the other, news that makes my heart beat just by looking at me. Both of them want me to choose which of them should have my heart in their hand. Cameron stretches out his hand, ready to spend the rest of his life with me. Jason looks at me with a heartbroken look; he asks me how I can forget him and everything we had together. I'm screaming for them to stop, that I can't choose, because I need them both. They give me looks of disgust, and walks away. I scream for them to come back, but I know they won't

    I wake up with a jerk and look around my dark bedroom, have I dreamed all of it? It was the weirdest dream I've ever had. My sweat rolls down all over my body, making both the bed and my pajamas soak through. On unsteady legs, I climb out of bed and go out into the kitchen to take a glass of water. The cold liquid helps me relax, and my breathing calms down. Why do I dream of choosing between two potential exciting people who do not exist in my life? I haven't seen Jason in years, and Cameron, I don't know, probably wants to get into my pants like a trophy to show off to the guys.

    The rain is pouring down, and the thunder roar over the sky. It's the middle of the night; nevertheless, Hale has sent out a mass message that all members should be at the club within an hour. It doesn't bother me; I can't end up falling asleep now after that dream. I change my underwear, put on a pair of tight jeans, a tank top, a hoodie, and my leather jacket before I walk out the front door. There's no way I can prepare for the punch I get to my face that makes me drop on the floor. My head smashes, and I feel how blood trickles out from the wound in my forehead. I look up and meet Adam's grinning face.

"Hello, baby. Have you missed me?" he asks in a condescending tone.

    No! He can't be here, not now, when my life finally begins to settle down. I try to get up to no avail, his fist meets my face in a bang once again, and I fall back to the floor. The surroundings are no longer bright but unclear, and my head is spinning incredibly. He says something to me that I can neither discern nor understand, the blood pumping in my ears. His spit lands in my face and mixes with the blood that continues to flow out of the notch in my head. My body screams at me to linger as I get up and kick to him on the thigh. He falls, and I do not hesitate for a second to try to run away.

"You can't run away from me, Leila!" Adam shouts, but I ignore him, and run down the stairs. "There's nowhere in this world you can hide without me hunting you down!"

    I have time to throw myself on my motorcycle and drive from there. My head turns backward, and I can see an angry Adam come running out. I return my focus to the road in front of me and just have time to swerve away for another motorcycle that comes straight towards me. In order not to crash, I have to slow down and stop by. I once again look back to see so that the driver didn't hurt himself, he does the same, and I can see that it is Cameron, but before he has the chance to ride towards me, I pull away. I have to get to the clubhouse now, before it's too late! Cameron's motorcycle slides in next to mine, and on my other side, two others come up. I know them. They're the same men he had with him at the bar.

    Cameron indicates that I should stop by the wall branch, but instead, I give him the finger and gas even more. It's not hard for me to pull them off, considering I have a tuned and modified swindle motorcycle. They won't stop following me, and I realize they won't leave me alone until I'm parked. A crewless gas station will soon appear; there I can stay. I look in Cameron's direction and point to the sign we pass, he responds with a nod. As soon as the gas station appears, I slow down, considering I'm at a much higher speed than the others, I need longer time to slow down. I park, and watch them do the same.

"What can I help you gentlemen with?" I ask in a sarcastic voice.

    They stop when they see my blood-soaked tank top, and the fast-moving plasma on my face. My thigh aches, and when I look down, I see Adam running into a sharp object of some kind. The pants are broken, and blood runs even there. I look like I just won in a battlefield. There's no way I'm going to show myself weak in front of the enemies in front of me, even though I feel Cameron won't hurt me. That's why I pick up a cigarette and lighter from my pocket. I'll light it up and draw in a deep burst of the carcinogenic smoke, enjoying it.

"Why do you look like that?" Cameron asks in a concerned voice.

"Some problems arose that I took care of."

"Are you sure? Because it looks like the problems took care of you."

    I look away, and feel the adrenaline leave my body. This is the first time I feel insecure, fragile, and vulnerable since I left Jason. Tears form in my eyes, but I make an effort to keep them inside. Hale's words echo inside my head 'never show the enemy your weaknesses; it might be the last thing you do,' the mantra I've followed since I heard it the first time and I haven't thought to change it now. Even so, I inhale shaky breaths, and my body betrays me by dropping down a couple of tears. Unfortunately, it has precisely the effect I knew it would have, the three men giving me glances of sympathy.

"Let's just say that my problem wasn't very nice to me," I answer with a weak smile and a sniffle.

    At first, he doesn't react to my words, but gradually he understands the hidden meaning behind them and looks furious. Honestly, I would be perplexed if he had responded in any other way. There's never okay to lay a hand on a woman that way Adam did. Besides, a man who assaults a woman is in our world a despicable thing to do, in other words, forbidden. Those men don't continue to live for long, I can tell you that much. But I'll be damned before someone kills that motherfucker before me, he is my kill, and I won't hesitate this time like I did before. Cameron checks my injuries with furrowed brows.

"You're going to need stitches for that," he says and points at my head. "And that needs to be patched up." he looks at my leg.

"I was on my way to the club anyway," I answer and straddle my bike.

"How can you think about going to the club at a time like this? You need to go to the hospital!"

"I can think like that because that's what a vice president do," I answer and drive away from there.

    My eyes concentrate on the road ahead of me, and I refuse to look back at the men who show me concern. I'm not a damsel in distress, I've lost much more blood than this before, and I'll be alright. I don't know how I'm going to solve this, but somehow I must. What I do know is that my club is going to get furious when they find out what has happened. I park, and by the looks of it, all the other members are already present. My legs carry me slowly with a limp inside the wooden building, chatter comes from the meeting room, and I follow the sounds. When I walk inside, everything stills, and they all look me over carefully.

"What the hell happened to you?" Tyler exclaims in terror and hurry to help me sit down.

"Adam happened," I answer and sways a little, my head hanging from the blood loss.

"Get the club doctor, and the first aid kit, now!" Hale roars and quickly approach me. "Lei, my beautiful, Lei. Are you hurting, babygirl?"

"I'm sorry, Hale. I failed you," I sniffle, and begin to feel the roaring pain in my broken body.

"No, Lei! You haven't failed me, my girl. We just need to patch you up a little," he answers and caress my cheek softly. "If that goddamn doctor can get here! Where the f**k is he?"

"He's on his way pres, five minutes," a member answer.

"We don't have five minutes! She's going to bleed out! Get me the kit, I'll stich her up myself."

    Someone gives him the first aid kit, and fetch me a bottle of booze. I've been stitched up like this before, and let me tell you; it isn't pleasant. But at least I have my beloved Jack this time; it might be tolerable. Hale sterilize the needle before he begins to stitch my leg, I hiss from the pain but not much else. He continues to work, and I barely feel the pain. I guess that's what happens when you get used to pain the way I have, you turn it into pleasure. Embracing the pain as an old friend makes it easier to relax and let Hale do her job. He just finished sewing the wound on my leg when the doctor enters the room; doctor Yin is a good and kind man. He's been our contact for years.

"Good evening, Leila. How are you feeling?" he asks.

"Everything's peachy here, doc. But my head needs a little lovin'," I answer smirking, which earns me a laugh from him.

"Cheeky, as ever I see, let me take a look at that," he says and opens his bag, which is filled to the brim with equipment.

    Doctor Yin begins immediately to check out my head injury, he cleans the wound, and prepare anesthetic as he then injects into my body. Thankfully, Yin works much faster than Hale, which isn't strange at all, considering that he's doing this for a living. He picks up gauze from his bag, and wrap it around my head; I feel like a mummy. When he thinks that his job is finished, Hale gives him a wad of cash before Yin leaves. All the members are still present and are waiting for me to explain what Adam did to me. Hale, Tyler, and Gus are the most angry inside this room. Considering I'm closest to them.

"It's not a big deal," I begin while looking down at my hands.

"Not a big deal?! Leila, he f*****g assaulted you, and you're saying this isn't a big deal? He could have killed you!" Hale screams.

"Don't you think I f*****g know that?!" I scream back, standing up. "How do you think this assault feels to me? The man I loved with all my life, and would do anything for, tried to force me to come with him tonight. Trust me, I know damn well what I'm feeling!" 

    I breathe fast and heavy, tears running down my bloody cheeks. Does Hale sincerely believe that this is something I do not take into my heart? Adam was my whole world once, and it pains me that he looks down on me this much for something he himself caused. As if it's my fault that he suddenly one day decided to start mistreating me and force me to behave in the way that suited him. He treated me as a possession, something to show off that should only be seen and not heard. I've always had a strong personality, but Adam broke me down like a dry twig, and the only thing that remained was a pile of powder of who I once was.

    I had to rebuild myself bit by bit after him, and I'm lying if I say it was easy. My stubbornness and the support of my club was what kept me going. The physical injuries healed over time, but the scars in my heart and on my soul will never go away, I have with me the rest of my life. In connection with all that, I became the icy person I am today, for one reason only; survival. That's why I can handle some friendship; Gus and Tyler are two examples of that. But other relationships that are more than that is nothing I can no longer control, trust is nothing I possess.

    There's no one I trust wholeheartedly, not even Hale, because, at the end of the day, I only have myself to trust to make my way through the hell they call life. All the people you meet in life can turn their backs at any time; in the end, you have only yourself. Always guard your back when you are around other people, even your best friend to whom you gave the knife in order to protect himself, may one day decide to put the very same knife in your back. It is these rules that I have lived my life, and I will probably never stop using it. I need myself, no one else. After all, this is not the first time I'm on my own.

"Leila, I know that this is hard. But we need to know what happened; otherwise, we don't know how to take action," Tyler says softly.

"Then I'm not going to tell you," I answer in a cold voice.

"Why don't you want us to do something? We can't let that fucker roam the streets like nothing happened!" Hale roars and slams his fist into the table.

"Because if someone's going to kill that fucker, it might as well be me," I answer, and walk out of there without looking back.

    I go to my gun cabinet in my bedroom that I have at the club, press the code and pick out my Glock. It'll be fine now, if I have to walk around armed for that son of a b***h to leave me alone. I slam the hatch and get out of the House against my motorcycle. My body is screaming for a cold beer, and I know that the bar I visited a few evenings ago is my target for the evening. Who knows, Cameron might be there... Wait, why am I thinking about him again? He's penetrated my mind like a virus again. I growl at myself and drive off towards the bar, half-wishing he's there, half-wishing he's not.

***

"What's up, Larry? How bout' a beer?" I shout to the bartender that I know well by now.

"Hello, Leila. Coming right up!" he answers in a cheerie voice, and walks away to get my beer.

    I sit down on one of the empty bar stools and watch the game currently playing on the tv up in the corner of the ceiling. The Yankees are on fire tonight! I get so lost in the game that I don't react when the beer is placed before me, and a person sits down beside me. The person clears their throat, but I don't care, not into a conversation after everything. I shout at the pitcher when he throws a lousy ball to the batsman who misses. My beer, I chug down without my eyes leaving the television. The person next to me clears his throat again, louder, probably for me to react. In the end, I turn towards the person and am in a bad mood to be disturbed when my favorite team plays.

"What the f**k is it?"

    Beside me, Cameron sits with his buddies, and smile at me. That gorgeous smile that can make any girl drop to her knees with want for this godly male, I'm not made of stone, of course, it affects me! But not in that desperate 'f**k me on the bar counter right here, right now' kind of way. He smiles, but it does not reach his eyes. Something worries him, and I guess the reason is me, which is no wonder when you think back to what happened earlier during the night. I give him and his friends an irritated look, returning to the match to then ignore them completely. b***h move, I know.

"Should you be drinking?" Cameron asks with concern.

"What are you, my daddy?" I snort with annoyance.

"Why do you always behave like..." he can't continue his sentence.

"A b***h?" I ask and raise an eyebrow.

"Well, yeah."

"My b***h switch is always on; it's easier to keep people away like that," I answer truthfully, feeling the need to leave.

"I can't read you at all; you're like an enigma. Why are you so afraid of being close or even talk to other people?"

"Because that way, I can protect them."

"From what?"

"Me," I answer with a sad smile and walk out of the bar, needing my bed more than ever.