The End of Us

Chapter 1: Azyra

I angrily wiped the tears that fell from my eyes. Sumasakit ang ulo ko sa kaiisip ng mga sinabi ni Tito Jai. Kanina ay napakatigas ng puso ko but hearing those last words he said made a change in me. It made me cry for Kenji again. But no. It wasn't enough to change my mind. Not yet.

I quietly entered my house. It is the house that I am sharing with Kenshin Sachiro Kaide, Isly Kaide's first born son. Dito siya sa Russia pinag-aaral ng kanyang mga magulang and this is where we really met and got to know each other though nakikita-kita ko na siya sa mga family occasions before. Habang nag-aaral siya ay nagtratrabaho ako sa Vladimier Group of Companies kasama ang mga pinsan ko. Si Jayden naman ang isa sa mga namamahala sa US branch ng kumpanya pati na rin sa iba pang negosyo ng pamilya Salvador.

Sachi and I became together only last year. After he helped me get over Kenji, I just found myself falling in love with him harder than I fell for Kenji. Bata man siya but he is fiercely independent at the age of 18 compared sa akin na 27 years old na. He is very lovable, he is very sweet, he is perfect. Sa isang taon naming magkarelasyon, I became a better person, a better Azyra Vladimier Salvador. I matured a lot because of him. I still have 2 years to wait for him to graduate. Hinihintay ko siyang makapagtapos then I will marry him.

Naipakilala ko na rin siya sa lahat ng pamilya ko. Even Zion likes Sachi kahit na noong una ay nalungkot siya na hindi na kami nagkabalikan ni Kenji. I've also been to Japan once to meet Sachi's family. And I am really glad na hindi naging issue kay Tito Isly na ang naging kapalit ni Kenji sa puso ko ay ang kanyang sariling anak.

I took a quick shower first bago ko siya tinabihan sa pagkakahiga sa kama at kahit na tulog na tulog si Sachi, automatic na sumiksik siya sa akin. As I hugged him in my chest, I felt the same comfort I always feel whenever he is around. I tried to sleep but I can't dahil ginugulo ng huling sinabi ni Tito Jai ang isipan ko. At dahil doon, nagbalik sa alaala ko ang huling araw na nagkasama kami ni Kenji Martenei.

...

"Excuse me, pakiulit mo na nga iyong sinabi mo, Azyra?"

I looked straight into his eyes and I saw him panicking. I started to panic too but I know that I have to do what I was supposed to do.

Paulit-ulit kong naririnig ang boses ni Tito Jai sa utak ko. And hearing those words he told me made me cold once again inside.

"Let's break up," I told him once more.

This time, mas malakas, mas matigas at mas wala ng buhay ang boses ko. I have to show him some ruthlessness even though I am suffering inside.

"P--pero bakit...? May nagawa ba ako? May ikinagalit ka ba sa akin? Anong kasalanan ko sa'yo?" sunod-sunod niyang tanong.

I stopped putting my clothes in my luggage bag at saka ko siya matiim na tinitigan. He already has tears in his eyes. I wanted to hug him tight, I wanted to dry his face. I wanted to apologize and bawiin na lang ang sinabi ko. But I can't. Napapayag na ako ng ama ni Kenji. Kung hindi ko tutuparin ang kagustuhan niya, para ko na ring inamin kay Tito na tama siya. His son doesn't deserve me.

No. Walang nagawang masama sa akin si Kenji. Wala akong ikinagalit sa kanya. At lalong wala siyang kasalanan sa akin. Sa aming dalawa, ako ang mayroong kasalanan sa kanya dahil hinayaan kong pakialaman ng ama niya ang relasyon naming dalawa. I can't back out anymore dahil tama rin si Tito Jai. Sa apat na taon naming relasyon ni Kenji ay ako ang naging sentro ng buhay niya. Sa tuwing naririto ako sa Pilipinas, sa akin na lang umiikot ang oras niya. He has forgotten himself. Oo at nag-aaral pa rin siya at may magandang career bilang fiction writer ngunit ilang beses ko nang napatunayan na isang sabi ko lang sa kanya ay tatalikuran niya ang lahat ng iyon para sa akin. Para ibigay ang gusto ko. Para patunayan sa akin na mahal na mahal niya ako.

Personally, ayoko na rin ng nangyayari sa kanya. He made himself a slave for his love for me. Nawala na yung independent na siya. Lahat na lang ng desisyon niya ay naka-base sa desisyon ko. Ayoko niyon.

I am doing this because I want him to go back to his old self.

Independent, confident, fierce. Tila kasi nawalan na siya ng sariling identity niya. At alam iyon ng lahat ng nakakakilala sa aming dalawa. His father found it unhealthy in our lives anymore.

"You're asking me your own fault? Can't you see it with your own eyes? You've become so pathetic in my eyes, Kenji. Sa tuwing uumuwi ako rito, you were too eager to please me. All I have to do is look at you and you will get naked to get on my lap waiting to be f****d, anytime, anywhere. At first, it was pleasing. But after four years, nakakasawa na rin pala."

Nagkabikig ang lalamunan ko nang makita kong mas dumami ang mga luhang dumadaloy mula sa kanyang mga mata.

"Nag... nagsasawa ka... ka na?" he choked on his words.

"Yes. I am already fed up f*****g the same ass for four years. I still need to travel for a long period of time just to get laid. But that's just not it. I grew tired of your immaturity, your too much dependence on me. Kung hindi sa akin ay sa mga magulang mo ka tatakbo. Tapos na akong mag-alaga sa mga kapatid ko but I needed to take care of you again. I cannot do what I want dahil palagi akong nakatali sa'yo. Mabuti pa nga si Zion eh. May rason kung bakit siya ganon. Eh, ikaw? What happened to you, Kenji?" puno ng pang-uuyam ang mga binibitawan kong salita to hurt him more for him to get mad at me.

And I succeeded. Humagulgol siya ng iyak sa harap ko and it tightened my chest. f**k. f**k. I wanted to cry, too. Ngunit ipinagpatuloy ko lang ang pananakit sa kanya upang tuluyan nang matapos ang lahat sa aming dalawa.

"Compared to me, you are nothing. I won't want to be tied to a person who doesn't know how to make it on his own. I sometimes even ask myself if you deserve to become a Salvador if you yourself don't deserve to be called a Martenei. All of your predecessors are great men. Even your asshole of a brother knows how to fight for what he wanted. How about you? Kung wala kami, wala ka na ring mararating. Writing? Saan ka dadalhin na pagsusulat mong iyan? Ng kasikatan? It will just dictate what you should do in your life gaya ng ginagawa naming pagdidikta sa'yo. Kailan ka pa matututo? Kapag nagsawa na rin sila sa'yo tulad ko?"

Pagkatapos kong sabihin iyon ay tinalikuran ko na siya.

Ipinagpatuloy ko ang pag-iimpake ko at hanggang matapos ako ay naroroon lang siya sa likuran ko at umiiyak.

"It was good until it lasted, Kenji. And to be truthful to you, I truly fell in love with you. I have dreamed of owning you and f*****g you for how many years. I just wasn't expecting that I will grow tired of you. But I did. I'm sorry."

Hinila ko na ang maleta ko at naglakad na palayo sa kanya. Mabibigat ang bawat hakbang ko patungo sa pintuan ng kuwarto niyang kinaroroonan naming dalawa. Nang makarating ako roon ay isang huling sulyap ang iginawad ko sa kanya. I saw him kneeling on the floor, both of his hands were on his face. His body was trembling as he cried hard. Tears fell from my eyes. My throat started to constrict and a blinding pain hit my chest.

I love Kenji so much that I was willing to give it up for his sake. Sana ay tama ang sinabi ni Tito Jai that hurting him would make him strong. As for me, I will go back to Russia. I will try to heal the pain I caused the both of us. Three years was such a long time to wait for him but I am willing to wait in the dark as long as Kenji will be a better person someday.

...

"Hey,"

"Hey."

Nginitian ko si Sachi na namumungay pa ang mga mata.

"What time is it, babe?"

He kissed my chin after asking that.

"3:30 am. I arrived two hours ago."

Sinalubong ng singkit na mga mata ni Sachi ang mga mata ko when he heard what I've said.

"Do we have to break up now?" seryoso niyang tanong na ikinagulat ko.

"Sachi! Stop talking nonsense. I'm not going to break up with you just because...."

Natigilan ako. Sachi doesn't know yet that Kenji is dying kung totoo nga ang sinabi ni Tito Jai kanina. And I am not planning to tell him about the news. Not yet. Dahil alam ko na kapag nalaman niyang pinipilit ako ng tiyuhin niyang makipagbalikan kay Kenji dahil na rin marahil sa kalagayan nito, siya mismo ang makikipaghiwalay sa akin.

I know that Sachi loves me. Ako ang una niyang boyfriend. Ako ang una niya sa lahat. And I know how selfless he is. Alam ko na kahit mahal na mahal niya ako, he will serve me on a silver platter to his cousin. I don't want that. Ayokong makipaghiwalay sa kanya. I cannot imagine him being with someone else aside from me. Kung obsess ako kay Kenji noon, mas obsess ako kay Sachiro ngayon.

"Then, why are you still awake? What did Tito say that is not making you sleep?" he seriously asked and I started to panic.

Sachi is very smart as well.

Napakadali para sa kanya ang basahin ang nararamdaman ko. Alam niya rin kung kailan may itinatago ako sa kanya so I decided to tell him a little of the talk I've had with Tito Jai.

"Something about your cousin. He wants me to be with Kenji. But I can't now that I have you. I was just thinking about how he would tell it to Kenji since he still doesn't know about us."

Nakahinga ako nang maluwag nang makita ko ang pagtango niya.

"You already know that if you wanted to be with him, I will let you."

Muli siyang yumakap sa akin at umunan sa dibdib ko.

"I know but I don't want to. You know that you are my everything now, babe. I can't lose you."

"Really?" He teasingly bit my n****e above the shirt I am wearing.

"Tease," panunukso ko sa kanya sabay hila sa katawan niya upang mapaibabaw siya sa akin.

Kaagad kong hinalikan ang mga labi niya nang matapat ito sa mga labi ko. He was gloriously delicious to kiss, to touch and to f**k.

The next thing I know, Sachi was already erotically dancing to the music of his moans, his hands on my shoulders, moving his hips up and down as we became one.

Sinasalubong ko naman ang bawat pagbaba ng kanyang likuran that made him moan louder. With one final thrust, I let go of the combined lust and love inside my sweet, little Sachi.