His Responsibility

20

    The drive back home is quiet. I am trying to think about everything my Father has said. He was not the person I thought I once knew, he was the reason my mother is dead. I felt myself start to cry, before I could wipe away my tears, Nico's hand came up, his thumb wiping away any evidence of my sadness. He holds my hand, making gentle circles with his thumb. He pulls my hand up to his face and places gentle kisses on it, making me smile. 

We get back and I go to the bedroom, changing into a pair of jogging pants and my sports bra, I pull on my sneakers and go to leave, 

"Where are you going?" Nico asks

"I need to clear my head, I need a run" I say as I put in my Bluetooth earbuds, sticking my phone in my pocket. 

"I'll go with you, It's not safe for you right now to be alone. I'll not crowd you, but I'll be close by" He pulls on his sneakers

"I don't want to make you run with me, I run for hours sometimes. You'll just be bored and tired of following me. I'll be back soon" 

He shakes his head at me, he is determined.

"If you insist.." I shrug, if he really wants to come along then I guess there's no stopping him. As much as I want to be alone, having him close to me makes me feel better. 

    I place the earbud in and stretch for a few minutes before taking off. I turn my music all the way up and run as fast as my feet will carry me. I don't even notice Nico behind me, keeping a safe distance. I run across the city before starting to feel slightly tired, I push myself to run further. After a few hours I start to turn back, I look back at Nico and see him looking at me almost in shock, maybe he is surprised at my endurance? I should have told him I ran track and field in high school, went to state championships, coming in second place. I smile at the memory. After we return to Nico's place I take out my earbuds and turn to him, 

"Thanks for that. I needed it" I wiped off the sweat from my forehead and neck.

"I've never met someone who could run like that. You gave me a run for my money" He jokes and he catches his breath.

I laugh and go inside, 

"So I think we should start your training soon" 

Training? Oh that's right he wanted me to learn some self defense moves. I hadn't taken him seriously when he first mentioned it to me. 

I look at him and nod, "When?"

"How about right now? I could show you some basic moves?" 

"Alright..." We walk into this gym, 

"First, why don't you show me what you know?" He gestures for me to demonstrate my skills. He's not going to like this. 

I perform my SING on him, making sure to do it very gently in the groin and nose, but almost full force on his instep and solar-flex. 

"Where did you learn that?" He chuckles

"I saw it in a movie once" I grin at him

"Okay well that's a good start, if someone attacks you from behind, you're set. But if it's a frontal assault, what do you do?" 

"Kick them in the balls and high tail out of there?" I smirk 

"I like the aggression, but you need to know how to do more then hitting the family jewels" 

"I don't know why I have to learn this at all, aren't there supposed to be 'guards' around me 24/7?" I ask as I roll my eyes at him

"What if something happens to them, do you just want to rely on someone else as your only line of defense?" He asks sternly, I shake my head.

    He shows me a few moves and makes me practice them on him. After he is satisfied, for now, he lets me go shower. I feel exhausted from my run and training. I have a quick shower washing my hair, I change into some pj's and wrap my hair in a towel. I make my way downstairs and go to the couch. I browse the channels, finding a movie that is very appropriate. "Miss Congeniality '' I called Nico over to watch it with me, He sat on the couch with me, I spread my legs over his lap and got comfy. We eat leftovers from the other night and laugh at the movie. He gives me a very pointed look when he realizes I learned SING from the movie, I chuckle. 

Around midnight we decided to head to bed. Nico says he will sleep on the couch if I want, but I pulled him upstairs with me. I didn't blame him for my Fathers actions. We crawl into bed and I snuggle into his arms. After a few minutes I feel sleep creeping up on me. 

    I see a small girl with red hair playing on a swing, a woman with matching hair is pushing her. It looks like me and my mother when I was very young. I hear myself yell at her to push me higher, she laughs with me and pushes me higher. She looks so happy. After a few minutes she stops the swing and pulls me into her arms, hugging me tightly. Her eyes, holding so much joy, suddenly turn fearful. I look around to try and see what changed, The little version of me nuzzling herself into my mothers chest.

     I look at where my mother is looking and see men coming towards her. She pulls me away and tells me to run and hide. We are going to play a game. I have to hide until she comes to find me. I see myself with fearful eyes, as I watch myself run off. My eyes follow my smaller self running across the road, into a garbage can, pulling the lid down over my head, leaving a small gap for me to watch from. I can smell the trash from where I stand and watch, it smells like decomposing bananas and meat. The combination is nasty. I see my mother stand up and ask the men what they want. The one man pulls out a blade. I see her eyes widen at the sight of the blade, she takes a step back,

"Awe, she's scared of us" One of the men say

"We won't hurt you, much.." another says as he steps closer to her, running his hand down her arm. 

She jerks her body away from him.

"We won't bite..." 

"I will ask you again, what do you want?" 

"There's many things we want, but from you, you are going to deliver a message to your husband"

"What would you like me to tell him?" She asks, her voice shaking

"Tell him? Who said anything about telling him something?" He steps forward with his knife and the other men grab her holding her still. The man stabs her in the stomach. She cries out, tears slipping down her cheeks.

"You're going to say so much without any words" I scream out for my mother, my smaller self staying quiet as a mouse. She is so strong, but I am coming undone.

    He stabs her again and again. I have to look away, it is too hard to watch. Even with my eyes looking elsewhere I can still see it, I realize that I was watching it from another set of eyes, the same eyes but in a different time. I turn to see myself watching my mother be tortured. It's like I can feel all of her pain inside me right now. I fell to the ground, crying out from her pain. I scream out for her again and again.

The man stops stabbing her and hands the knife of the other men and they slowly slit her throat. She falls to the ground , her body lifeless. I watch as her blood pools around her. 

"Find the girl" He orders

I see myself shrink down in the garbage can, the lid slowly closing. I feel myself staying very quiet and still. Not wanting to be found.