It is Time
I had been staring at the same wooden beam in my shared bedroom the entire night. For some reason knowing this would be my last night under this particular beam saddened me. It was just a beam, but it was my beam, well our beam. Unable to sleep, I tossed and turned until the other girls in my room scolded me for making too much noise. Of course, they had no trouble sleeping; they weren’t attending The Grouping Ceremony tomorrow afternoon. Me, however, my stomach was twisted in knots. I don’t know if I should be excited or terrified. I mean tomorrow will be the first time I’ve ever been allowed out of containment, so I have no idea what to expect. Who knows what’s beyond the fence. I wonder what it will it be like to have the freedom to roam and to explore what lies beyond the white sand beach that I have woken up to every day since being brought to Ubertus? I was only two then, so I don’t remember much of my life before containment. Growing up, I would often sit on the beach and think about what my life would have been like if I still lived in the Radiation Zone and not here on my safe little island in the eastern Pacific. I often asked myself what were my parents like, did they chose to send me away or was I taken away like some of the other babies from the Radiation Zone. Shaking my head, I sat up in bed; I don’t have time to think about my probably dead parents, who are in a place I will never see. I have bigger problems. I was going to meet a man for the first time this afternoon.
For 18 years I have lived in a small fenced-in camp with a varying amount of girls, sometimes as many as 150 or as low as 80, but only girls. I had never had contact with a male ever, in my entire life, except for the male babies that came to the containment camps with their mothers for just a short year before the male babies were sent away to the male containment camps. There were a few times when I thought I saw an adult male through the slats in the fence, but they were always too far away for me to be sure. From what I heard men were much stronger than women, bigger, angrier, hairier, and smellier too so I wasn’t looking forward to meeting any man, especially the man I would be mating with for the next year. I had turned twenty only two short months ago, so I was now of the right age to begin reproducing. Reproduction is my primary duty and the sole reason for my existence on Ubertus Island. And I was ready and willing to fulfill my obligation; I would do about anything to get out of this camp and this dull existence I called life. But if I'm honest, I did worry about what “it” would be like. I heard many unpleasant stories from the older nonviable women, who had passed their prime. The nonviable women who no longer bled were often placed back in containment to care for the children in the camps. Their stories were the nightmares that kept me awake tonight.
When the first speck of sunlight touched the wooden beam I had become so familiar with throughout the night, I took this as my sign to force myself out of bed and to stop the torture of staring and contemplating. Quietly dressing, I crept out of the room that held fourteen other sleeping bodies and made my way to my favorite spot on the beach. Today three other girls from my camp and I would be attending The Grouping Ceremony. I wondered if the other girls had as much trouble sleeping as I did. Looking into the pink horizon, my thoughts drifted off to the future male I would mate with. I wonder if he was as worried as me. Nah, I doubt it. He was probably sleeping like a baby in the male containment camp looking forward to his soon to be role as leader of his own mating group. His job is easy, well at least that’s what I hear. He would have three women in his mating group, and he would have to lay with all three of them regularly trying to impregnate them. From what the nonviables told us the men’s job was simple just poking us and being on their way. I wonder if my male would be handsome and kind. What if he doesn’t like me? What if I’m not attractive enough? The other girls in camp always said I was pretty enough. I looked down at my arms and legs. My skin was brown with little freckles popping up here and there from the baking sun I spent my days under. I was one of the fastest swimmers in the camp, so my arms and legs were muscular. What about my height? What if I’m too short? What if I look like an ogre? I was slightly taller than most girls in the camp but not the tallest.
Pinching my stomach, I wondered if I was too skinny or too chubby. Well, it’s too late to do anything about that. Standing up, I walked over to a standing pool of water in between the rocks. Looking at the girl in the water, I tipped my head to the side to get a better view. Her nose didn’t seem too large or pointy like some of the other girls in camp. No, it was just a simple nose, with light green eyes staring back. Moving closer, I puckered my lips; I wonder what my lips will look like when I kiss somebody? Are they soft enough? I often found myself chewing on my “hopefully” not too fat or dry lips during stressful moments. I brought a hand to my cheek and lightly touched my cheekbones, which I have been told easily blush when I’m embarrassed. Nope, nothing special to see here. I am completely and utterly plain. “Addison!” my focus was torn away from my distressing thoughts about my appearance. One of the nonviable women named Glory was rushing my way.
“I have been looking for you all over the place!”
Oh no… Glory seems pissed this morning. Usually, she is one of the calmer nonviables.
"Do you know what time it is? You need to get ready for the ceremony!”
Shit, how long have I been sitting out here contemplating my demise and how ugly I may or may not be. Standing up I brushed the sand from my dress and tried unsuccessfully to rid it of the fresh wrinkles it now had, but I was quickly interrupted by Glory who began forcefully dragging me down the beach by my forearm. Plodding behind her, I listened to her scolding and instantly rolled my eyes to the sky in disgust. She was going on and on about how important this day was, about how I had to look perfect, and about all the preparation, blah, blah, blah. As if I didn’t know this was a big day! I spent all night staring at a wooden beam for god’s sakes. Trust me, I know this is a big day. Quietly I sulked and instantly began missing my beam. This is going to be a really shitty day.
