Let Me Love You Again

Chapter 10

Maya

I looked at the clock hanging in the hall of the ward, half an hour before the end of the shift. It was Saturday and that night I promised Dr. Richard, Jeremy, that after our shift we would go for a drink together I had to admit that, although he was a beautiful man and that he physically attracted me a lot, my mind was not properly focused.

I’ve been thinking about Nate since last night.

How stupid he was and how stupid I was, a fool who was about to give in to him.

I could still feel him around my body, I could still feel his hands caressing his skin, making me shiver all over my body. I could still feel his body attached to mine, the erection sticking out of the crotch of his pants and rubbing against my butt. His warm breath against my neck. The way he looked at me, his blue eyes veiled by passion. The way he approached my face in search of my lips and the way I hadn’t avoided it.

I had teased him, I had rubbed against him, blinded by passion, unable to control my body that did nothing but claim him. My body automatically pushed against him, as if they were two magnets unable to stay away from each other.

I couldn’t deny that he had some effect on me, I couldn’t deny that I wanted him, God if I wanted him. The night before, I wanted to be alone, not around people, I wanted him to tear my clothes off and take me on the bathroom floor over and over and over again.

That desire, that desire to possess me like that, had never happened to me except with Nate. I had never felt that uncontrollable urge to throw myself at him, to kiss him until my lungs would protest the lack of oxygen, I’ve never felt the irrepressible urge to rip my clothes off and get banged up until I saw the stars. Even with Brad, I never felt this desire to have his hands on my body.

I shook my head and checked the last of the files.

I didn’t have to think about Nate Dare, I didn’t have to imagine his hands on my body, his mouth on my n*****s, his fingers massaging me and then getting inside me, his tongue in my mouth.

No! Stop Maya, stop!

God, I needed s*x so badly, I could have easily f****d Jeremy that night, but I had the vague suspicion that it wouldn’t even satisfy me. But not because I didn’t like it, on the contrary, I probably would have spent all my time imagining Nate’s hands and face.

God, I really had a serious problem.

I spent the last half hour of my shift fantasizing without realizing exactly what I was doing. When I finished, I went to change and got out of the hospital finding Jeremy in front of the entrance waiting for me.

He wore a laced jacket, a shoulder strap, and dark jeans that bound his muscular legs perfectly.

As soon as he saw me, he gave me a wide smile which I answered sincerely.

Maybe I could really try.

We went to a bar near the hospital and sat down at a table. Jeremy got a beer, and I got a lemonade that aroused a doubtful look from Jeremy but he remained silent.

While waiting for our drinks to arrive, we started talking about our lives.

Jeremy specialized in traumatology and managed to do so in record time. He had started school a year earlier and this allowed him to start college when he was still seventeen and to graduate in three years, after that, he went through specialization for five years and was able to get a job as a newly finished attending.

I listened to him all the time, elbows resting on the table, hands together and my chin resting on them.

Jeremy was an extremely intelligent and beautiful person, his dark eyes shone every time he talked about his work. Jeremy was the kind of man you could fall in love with right away, he was handsome and charming and smart. He seemed like the kind of guy you could start a family with and get married to.

"And you Maya? What brings you here?" he asked me after finishing his monologue that I could listen to for hours.

"Me? I’ve always lived here. I only moved to college. I got a job, but I got fired a few months ago, so I came home and thanks to my father’s help I was able to find this job." I said looking into his eyes.

"Why were you fired?" he asked me curious and then sipped his drink.

"Cuts in the staff. I had taken a leave of absence and I should have returned after a few months, I did not have time to return when I found the letter of dismissal." I said with some bitterness.

"Wow, that’s not a good thing. Such a sudden dismissal after a leave could be actionable." he thoughtfully said.

"Yes, but I don’t care much. I wouldn’t be there long." I said, grabbing the straw with my lips.

"Why?" he asked cautiously.

"My ex and I worked in the same hospital, and we did not break up in the best way, seeing him every day would only make things worse." I said by moving the ice with the straw and carrying a lock of hair behind the ear.

"I understand." he said quietly, I looked up and looked at him, "exes at work are always annoying." he said with a sweet smile.

When he smiled, the dimple on his cheek was highlighted and made him even more charming. Slowly I calmed down and felt more and more comfortable talking to him, so much so that I did not realize the time that passed.

We stayed to talk for a few hours when I realized the schedule snapped up.

"s**t, it’s late." I said, grabbing my jacket and bag, "I have to go."

"It’s only ten o'clock." he said confused.

"Yeah, I know, I really have to run home," I said, "It’s just... I have a little boy, a few months old, and I can’t leave him with the babysitter for too long."

If Jess had heard me call her babysitter, she would have choked me.

“Wow." he said, surprised, "You’re very young to be a mom." he got up and left a fifty on the table and then took his jacket and followed me.

"Yes, I know." I said, opening the door and going out in the cold evening air.

"So your ex, I mean your colleague is he..." he said uncomfortable scratching his head.

"Yep. He was involved in the act but not in the after. We broke up and everyone went their own way. I never asked him for anything, and he never made demands. It’s as if nothing happened between us." I explained putting my hands in my pockets.

"Well worse for him and better for me." he looked me in the eye.

I gave him a smile that he loved, his eyes shone with a particular light that could warm any heart and body, but not the heat I felt in the presence of Nate, but something calmer, sweeter, and more peaceful.

Something that was able to calm my restless soul so much that I lost all conception of time and space, was able to distract me from everything around me as if every problem dissolved easily.

Jeremy drove me back to the car and, after giving me a slight kiss on the cheek, we said goodbye and I went home where Jess was waiting for me.

I was just hoping that she hadn’t invited Andrew and turned my apartment into a red-light club and traumatized my son.

When I got home, I found everything quiet, too quiet for Jess's standards. I took off my shoes and hung my coat in its place. I went into the room and found Jess lying on the couch, a book in her hand, and Axel comfortably lying on her chest, his head resting in the hollow of her neck, his hands clenched in a fist, his white and blue pajamas were immaculate and covered him entirely.

He was blissfully asleep, and when I saw him so beautiful and relaxed, my heart filled with love. Axel was the only man who could really get my heart racing, I was dying of love for him.

That was my only certainty. It didn’t matter how many men showed up at my door and tried to have me, I will always love my son unconditionally.

"Hey stranger." said Jess gently looking down at me from the couch.

I walked up and sat down on the floor. I reached out and I passed it through Axel’s blond tufts and then I leaned over, and I rubbed my nose on his soft cheek and I inhaled his perfume, I loved the smell of Axel, I think it was the best smell I had ever smelled in my life.

"How did he behave?" I asked as I put my hand on his back, caressing him gently.

"We had a great time without mom. We ate, played, bathed, and slept, we collapsed on the bed like two babies." Jess said proudly of herself.

"Considering that between the two you are more baby, everything went well."

Axel stretched and opened his blue eyes.

As soon as he saw me, he reached out to me and I immediately took him, snuggling him on my chest.

He held my shirt in his fist and went back to sleep docilely.

"How was your date?" Jess asked when she sat down.

"Good." I replied vaguely by giving a slight kiss on Axel’s head.

"Just good?" she asked.

"OK more than good. Jeremy is a very good person, he is kind and nice. We talked a lot." I said cradling my baby.

"You like him!" she said euphorically.

"Ah don't be ridiculous and don’t be exaggerated. I went out with him once!" I said a little too loud to the point that Axel in my arms complained.

"But you like him. Don’t be a b***h about it, Maya."

"I don’t know, Jess. It’s still too soon. Axel is too young, I can’t afford a relationship with someone, I have a son to take care of." I said seriously.

"You’re already thinking about a relationship with him, wow." she said, surprised.

"Stop it."

"OK OK, let’s talk about serious things," she jumped up on the couch and pointed a finger at me, "my marriage."

I stood up and sat down next to her, "I’m all ears."

"So! We rented some rooms for those who want to stay overnight in the hotel, being out of town, I guess you want to stay no? You’re my bridesmaid, and you’re gonna have a lot of things to take care of, so you’re going to come in from the night before, you’re going to sleep in your room, and in the morning, we’re gonna get up early so the makeup lady and the hairdresser have time to do the whole thing. Andrew and I took one of the top-floor suites for our wedding night with a HUGE tub and rented it for the next day." Jess said euphorically.

"Are you going to lock yourself in your room all day?" I asked laughing.

"Absolutely yes!" she continued exhilarated.

We spent the rest of the evening discussing plans for the wedding day.