Let Me Love You Again

The house was a disaster, people were crowded in the pool or in the garden. Some of them were lying on the sun loungers by the pool as they almost went in. I stayed all night, or almost, by the pool, with my feet soaking while Jess was in the hot tub with Andrew and exploring their mouths with tongues. Next to me, Lucas was making disgusting noises as we watched the two almost undressing in front of everyone. Jess had spent the whole last year ignoring Andrew while he was chasing after her like a little puppy in love, but she never wanted to know. It was more important for her to get the top grades so she could get into Philadelphia Law School. So, she spent the entire school year ignoring poor Andrew and repeatedly breaking his heart. Except for that night. That night Jess was drunk, and when Jess is drunk, she loses any inhibitory brake. She liked Andrew; she saw him. As soon as she had seen him surrounded by girls inside the hot tub, she had driven them out and stuffed herself inside, immediately sticking her tongue into the boy’s mouth. "She could do it sooner rather than drive him crazy for a whole year." noted Lucas as Jess straddled Andrew, never taking her mouth off his. I laughed and shook my head watching the two as they passed their hands on their wet bodies. "You know how Jess is." I laughed. Andrew had detached his mouth from my friend’s, in search of air, but Jess was not happy and immediately attached his neck, licking and biting the bare skin. "God, how long has it been since she had s*x?" Lucas was shocked to see Jess' little-tempered assault. Andrew didn’t seem to mind Jess' fiery attack, on the contrary. He moved his head so as to give her better access to his neck, while with his hands he fiddled with the laces of his costume, beginning to loosen them slowly. "Get a room!" I screamed the moment Andrew untied the top part of Jess’s costume. My friend looked at me, her eyes were completely dark, and I didn’t know if it was alcohol or excitement. Taking a look at the turgid n***les that sprouted from the costume fabric, probably the second option was the right one. Jess gave me a naughty smile before leaning towards Andrew’s ear, maliciously rubbing her br**st against his chest. She whispered something in his ear, and he immediately stood up, holding her in his arms, and came out of the tub. He laid her down and grabbed her hand before dragging her into the house. "Use protection!" I yelled at them before they disappeared into the house. "Lucky girl." Lucas said, grabbing the glass with the beer and drinking a long sip, "If she hadn’t, I would have tried." he continued shaking his head. "I don’t think Andrew would have accepted your court." I said laughing and emptying my glass. "God in heaven!" Lucas suddenly exclaimed looking before him. I followed his eyes just to find him. He was standing next to the beer barrel while talking to a friend of his who had followed him from college. I was amazed to see him pouring beer into the glass, I watched the movement of his uncovered arm, the hand holding the glass, and the broad shoulders wrapped by the black shirt he was wearing. He turned his back and gave me the chance to admire his b*tt wrapped by a pair of jeans that fit him perfectly. His dark hair was a disaster, I imagine to put my finger between them while kissing him. I felt my body on fire and it wasn’t alcohol. God, I need s*x. "Dry the drool, you’re filling the pool." Lucas says next to me. I turned to him and watched him as he burst into a chuckle. "You’re an asshole, you know that?" I sternly said. "Oh please, you can see a mile away that you want to do it. Go! You’re drunk, he’s drunk there’s no better time!," he said cheerfully. "Stop it, Lucas! It’s Nate!" I said exasperated. "I know!" he insisted cheerfully. "He’s Jess' brother!" " And?" I shook my head exasperated and got up from the edge of the pool and headed to the house, I had an urgent need to empty my bladder, and probably it was time to go home, my parents were definitely waiting for me standing and I did not want to bother them, especially not now since in a few months I will go to the college if I get my answer. I went upstairs and headed to the bathroom, after emptying the bladder, went out and passed in front of Jess’s room from whence came noisy groans. The bed slammed against the wall while Jess shouted, "God yes, yes!" You’re lucky b***ard. As I turned to the stairs I bumped into someone and almost fell, fortunately, two hands grabbed me and put me back on my feet avoiding an endless tumble down the stairs. "Hey, Maya, watch out.," said Nate as he put me back on my feet, his voice was so low and guttural That make me shiver. Nate. It’s Jess’s brother. He’d been back from college for a few days, he was a few years older than us, he’d chosen the city’s law school, his parents had bought him an apartment near the college, and sometimes he’d come back to the neighborhood I had a crush on him all my life and I did everything I could to make sure I was there every time he came home, I wanted to be noticed, I wanted him to see me, and that was just not the way I wanted it. Nate saw me as a friend, as a younger sister to protect and care for like I was some kind of plant. I wasn’t a plant, I was a damn girl with curves in the right places who wanted him to touch those curves, but for him, it didn’t matter how much skin I put on display, how much I tried, he always pretended nothing. And that moment was there, in all its extraordinary wonder. He held me by my hips, and I was just wearing a pair of shorts and the top part of the costume. The skin on his hands boiled. I looked him straight in the eye, those blue eyes like the ocean. He had a smile on his face, and he looked at me gently, I felt my legs getting soft and I would throw myself at his feet for more than one reason. His black hair was messed up like he’d been through it over and over again. I had to squeeze my fists to keep my hands out of it. I bit my lower lip to avoid stretching out and putting my mouth on his. God, what’s wrong with me? I thought to myself. The moment he opened his mouth to say something, a moan more like a scream broke the silence, followed by another one lower and guttural. "My God!" I said, almost upset. I loved Jess, I loved her soul, but hearing her orgasm wasn’t something I liked to listen to. "Is that my sister?" Nate asked upset. "Apparently." I said shivering "With whom?," he said with narrow teeth, taking his hands off my hips. No, please, I begged with my mind. "Andrew Thomson." I said, looking at his profile. The pronounced jaw, the eyes on Jess’s bedroom door, the neck skin that I wanted to put my lips on, I could pass my tongue. God the alcohol was really going to my head. I carried a hand on my exasperated forehead. "Are you okay?" Nate asked, looking at me. "Eh? Yes, of course! I think I drank too much, Jess had to make sure we didn’t overdo it, but I think she was too busy with Andrew’s tongue, and I have to go home, But I probably smell like beer and if my dad hears me, he’ll kill me, and Lucas is somewhere I don’t know where." I started rambling with a drunk tone. "Quiet little Maya! Come, I’ll take you to find Lucas.," he said, pushing me down the stairs and holding me up. When we got back to the ground floor, we started looking for Lucas everywhere, my head was spinning, and I immediately moved away from the people, and I headed to the small study of the house. The room was rectangular, and each wall was filled with shelves full of books. I slumped down on the leather couch holding up my sweaty forehead. "Are you going to vomit?" I jumped to hear the voice behind me, I had almost forgotten his presence. "I don’t think so, I don’t know." I looked at him with my eyes fogged by alcohol. Nate came up and sat down next to me and handed me a glass of water. "Drink." he ordered me to look at me. I grabbed the glass and knocked it down with one sip before I gave it back to him, "Gee! Did you think it was tequila?" he asked in surprise. "I’ve had so much!" I said drunker than before. My head started to spin even more so I rested on his shoulder breathing deeply, his aftershave filled my nostrils, God I was really fused. Nate surrounded me with an arm and stroked my back, perhaps trying to console me. He was trying to console a drunk fool! I curled up even more to him and rubbed my nose on his neck, deeply inhaling his scent. God, he was good. I could take advantage and he didn’t seem to mind; he wasn’t pushing me away. "Maya, you’re so drunk." he laughed. I answered with an "mmh" as I continued to rub my nose against his neck, felt his heart beat faster, or maybe it was just the impression. I touched his neck with my lips and pushed myself even more towards him. "Maya." he said, almost admonishing me, but he didn’t stop me. I looked at him for a moment and then I leaned over and kissed him lightly on the neck, and then I ran over my tongue. He felt deeply inspired. "Oh s**t on it!” he said, and suddenly he turned and caught my lips in a ravenous kiss. He dodged them and his tongue began to play with mine as I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him to me. I pushed back on the couch and lay down while he followed me, without taking my lips off. I surrounded his pelvis with my thighs and with my heels I pushed him more towards me. I wanted him. I wanted him so long that I didn’t know where to start and I could clearly feel how much he wanted me, the crotch of the pants rubbed against me, I felt ready. I put my hands in his hair and he deepened the kiss even more. "Maya, you’re drunk." he said, coming off me and kissing my chin. "I don’t care." whiny. I was drunk, yes, but I had never been so sure as at that moment. I wanted it immediately. I put my hands on his chest as he kissed me and bit my neck, going down more and more towards the b***st. My n****es were so plump that they hurt me and grew out of the green cloth of my costume. "God..." I heard him murmur before moving a cup of the costume and taking a n****e between his lips. A low and deep moan escaped my lips while he caressed me with his tongue. I went down with my hands towards the closure of his pants, and I unbuttoned them by putting my hand and grabbing him. Nate got away with a groan as I started massaging him up and down the whole length. God, I couldn’t wait to have him inside me. He left the n****e and devoted himself to the other. My body was on fire and between my legs, there was a lake, I was completely wet and ready for him, and I wanted him immensely. "Nate..." moaned, "Please...," I said, rubbing my pelvis against him. Nate raised his head and looked at me, his eyes darkened by passion. "S**t on it!" he caught my lips again in a kiss that devoured both of us while his hands went down to my shorts and unbuttoned them. "I don’t take the pills." I said in between kisses. He froze and looked at me, his hand tucked into my shorts. "Wait here, don’t move, I’ll go to my room and get a condom." he said, getting up quickly. I watched him get back on his feet, his pants unbuttoned, and his horse growled, I licked my lips as he rushed out of the studio. Outside there was a rumor of people shouting and laughing. The moonlight entered through the window partially illuminating the large space. My heart was pounding as I lay on the couch waiting for Nate to come back. My God! I kissed him! And he kissed me back. He wanted me! He. Wanted. Me. I waited a long time, but he didn’t come back, more than fifteen minutes had passed, and I was still lying on the couch, so I decided to get up and go myself to look for him. I got up and fixed my costume and shorts and then I left the studio and headed to the stairs leading to the first floor. I didn’t have time to climb the first step because there he stood. Nate. With a girl’s tongue in his mouth. She had her legs around his waist while he held her against the wall and moaned. HE MOANED IN HER MOUTH. Until a few minutes ago, my mouth was the one in which he moaned. I was waiting like an i***t for him to come back, while Nate had found someone else to let off steam. What an i***t I was. I really thought he wanted me. I just stared at those two, I didn’t even know who the girl was. He moved his mouth to her neck and began to shower her with kisses, just as he had done with me just before, while his hands caressed her b***sts much more abundant than mine. I had tears in my eyes. I was stupid. A stupid one! I turned around and walked away, as I walked out the door, I ran into Lucas coming in. "Maya! What did you do?" he asked me immediately. "Nothing!" I said, pulling back the tears and smiling "I’m tired! I’m going home! I’ll see you tomorrow!" I said, putting a kiss on his cheek and vanishing. On my way home, just a few blocks away from Jess’s, I let the tears run down my face. I was just a fool. Did I really think Nate wanted me? I was just the stupid drunk friend who threw herself at the first one that happened to her. I squeezed my body with my arms and wiped my tears with the back of my hand. Reduced to crying for an i***t. I didn’t want to cry for an i***t, and I never would have. From that day on, I avoided Dare’s house like the plague and invented all kinds of excuses every time Jess invited me for lunch or a sleepover. I didn’t want to risk running into Nate. I had spent so much time being in love with him, thinking about that paradise that boy was in, and just as I was close to that paradise, I had known hell. The truth was he broke my heart. Stupid thing, right? We had never been anything, he had never seen me from that point of view, so much so that he preferred to get into the legs of another rather than being among mine. All those years I had waited and hoped that there would be something between me and him and then I remained with nothing, I was deluded. I had secretly loved him for years; I had seen him around a corner while everyone around me found happiness with the person who was meant for them. Jess now had Andrew, Lucas was Lucas, and Nate, well, Nate had a new girlfriend. I didn’t know who he was, probably the same one he dumped me for that night, or maybe another one. I didn’t care anymore. Maybe. I’d spent the last few weeks cleaning up after myself. I finally got the answer from Boston college, I finally had a chance, and I was going to get away from there. I hadn’t told Jess yet, but it didn’t matter. In those last few weeks, she was so caught up in her love bubble that she didn’t pay attention to me, even though I was sad and hurt, Jess, didn’t realize anything. Only Lucas noticed that something was wrong with me but I couldn’t, I just started to cry and he hugged me tightly and stuffed himself with crap with me. Don’t get me wrong. I’m glad Jess is happy and in love, but she’s so locked in her bubble that I’ve been feeling her way, way too far away lately. We promised to spend that last summer together before we went to college and ended up being separated. She went to her beach house with her family and her Andrew, I stayed home and finished packing my things. By mid-August everything was ready and so I left. I felt bad leaving without actually saying goodbye to Jess, but I couldn’t reach her on the phone anymore, and I couldn’t wait for her to come back. So I wrote her a letter that I put in her mail, where I promised to Video Skype her. I took my stuff and walked away to my future.