Her Secret Smile (#2)

Chapter- 10

10. "I love you because... I am...am..... I don't know!!"

"Are you going to leave?" he asked and Roshini nodded her head as yes.

"Your classmate Aishwarya, what type of person is she?" Roshini's one of the fear was happening now.

Why the hell he is asking about her. Whether she is the one he is talking about? She thought and her heart filled with a dreadful feeling of loss.

"Roshini?" he called her out to get her attention.

"Ah... she is a good person. I don't know much about her but she is friendly with everyone," she lied.

Aishwarya was the complete opposite to her statement. She befriends people who are like her. Very selfish, having multiple boyfriends at a time and not at all kind. Other than good looks she doesn't have any good qualities to appreciate.

Since the good girl, Roshini can't speak badly about people even though they are immoral. "Oh," he smiled and that confirmed her doubt is true. God why she!!

Roshini refrained from asking further because she felt that will eventually lead into a heartbreak.

"Ok then I will head to the playground, I have to meet my coach," he told and she turned to leave without looking at him back.

While she is walking,

Is this the end of my feelings? Is it over right? She questioned and stumbled in the midway to reach out of the college.

Without her control she had tears in her eyes, she felt like an imprudent for being in this state. Carrying her broken heart she walked like she lost everything. She crossed the road to reach the opposite bus stop. She sat looking blankly at the passing vehicles.

She never experienced what heartbreak will be and now she understood clearly now. He is just a crush right why I am feeling like this?

Perhaps Siddharth is more than a crush for you Roshini, her inner self-whispered into her ears. But suddenly the sound of bus brought her back to her conscience.

She got up to get on the bus, leaving the fact that stated in her, she is not in the state to accept that but deep inside she knew it is true, after all.

...

"Varun the movie is too boring right?" Nidhi told and Varun was consciously watching the movie. 

"No it is interesting," he replied still looking at the screen. When they got into theatre Nidhi suggested to watch a romantic movie but Varun decided to go for a newly released mystery thriller movie. Accepting his wish she was beside him very bored.

The theatre was empty, only a few couples were sitting and talking, no one is watching the movie except Varun.

"Varun please it is so boring," Nidhi patted his shoulders.

"What you want me to do then?"

"Let's go out," she said and he sighed. "Then why the hell you suggested a movie?" he gritted in an irritation.

"Sorry, let's leave after it ends." She told and soon her tears brimmed out once Varun continued to watch the movie.

Again it happened, he made her cry. Sometimes she questions why she is in love with a guy who doesn't consider her feelings, but the answer she has no idea about that. She likes him so much, loves him so much and she strongly believes he is the one for her.

At times we don't know why we are in love with someone where we have no reason for the love yet we can't think a life without them in it, that is what Nidhi's love. Though Varun pushed her to the extreme of hate, she can't leave him like he is no one to her.

He held her hand all of a sudden and Nidhi looked him in a surprise, "I am hurting you right?" he asked and turned to face her.

"No, watch the movie," she assured like everything is fine by plastering a small smile on her face.

Then he continued to look out the movie, he didn't leave her hand until the end. They came out of the theatre and it was almost six in the evening.

"How were the preparations going on?" she asked when he was taking the bike from the parking lot.

"Hmm it's going, you have to come to the marriage okay," he sat on the bike.

"It depends on my parents, if they asked me to stay in the house then I can't come to your brother's marriage," she told and that disappointed Varun.

He didn't compel her further and drove the bike to their house, it is drizzling out but still, he wanted to make sure she is in the home before 6.30 pm, that time only her mom will arrive at home.

She gripped his hard shoulders and she can smell his perfume, she is too close to him. Feeling this intimacy she started to blush and she eventually smiled looking down. Today she wore a black salwar since Varun's favorite color was black. But he not even complimented that or at least noticed briefly, not only today in their entire course of relationship he was so uninterested in checking her costume, hairstyle, whether she did makeup or not, nothing he cared. All he wanted was to be with her and to talk to her. He never falsely flirted with Nidhi to get a kiss or hug.

What type of person is he?

What does he think about me? Nidhi's greatest questions about him and still hoping that one day he will answer.

Once they reached the end of their street, Nidhi looked around whether anyone was watching them, relief filled her heart once she found there is no one.

"Then, what you are going to do at weekend?" Varun smiled.

"Umm, I am having assignments to finish and going to study for the semester. You will be busy right?" unknowingly her hands patted his shoulders and touched his beard cheeks. Her touch crawled the desire demon that he controlled for all these days.

His brown eyes watched her intently, her every expression, her lips, her squinting eyes, her neck and her pink shawl covering her gorgeousness. He can't help than to gaze her beauty, he gulped his lump to control his increasing craving for her. Nidhi's words didn't enter into his head.

"You go, we will meet next week." He said to shut all those things.

"Hmm Okay," she smiled and gazed at him.

"Love you," he told and that words satisfied and warmed her heart. She happily walked to reach her house and Varun went to his house like they are total strangers.

...

That night Roshini was sleepless because of her confusions and hurt over Siddharth's sudden confession. Ah... stop the stupid and sleep Rosh she scolded herself and tried to sleep but she can't. How can she?

Her crush has turned into love without her knowledge that she still can't able to accept wholeheartedly. She is in love with Siddharth, her love was making her sleepless. Her love was making her insane, her love turning more irritating to know the fact that he is having someone in his heart. This stupid one-sided love, after all, torturing her like crazy.

She raised from her bed and went out to the living room. Her parents and her brothers were all sleeping peacefully. She slowly turned on the TV and taking potato chips from the kitchen. She sat on the couch.

While changing channels she stumbled on an English channel telecasting a horror movie Babadook. She started watching the movie. When she was about to take a crunch of potato chips. 

The diet, weight loss, and PCOD flashed on her mind. So she dropped the pack on the nearby table and laid.

The movie was little terrifying but Roshini seemed very calm like she is watching a comic movie. In this nighttime darkness, no one gets an idea like this but she had.

"What you are doing?" her dad questioned and that startled her.

"Dad," she whispered.

"What happened? It is 1.00 pm Roshini," he questioned and came near her.

"I can't sleep."

"That's why I told you to sleep earlier all the time, you are studying till 2.00 pm during exam times and see you are feeling difficult to fall asleep now," he said and went into the kitchen to get some water.

He gave a glass of water to Roshini and turned off the TV. Before leaving he asked Roshini to get some sleep. She laid on the couch and stared at the dark room.

God, please grant me a wish, Siddharth has to stay single till this college ends. And don't make him think about any girl. Please. Please. Please. She may sound so selfish but she badly wanted that.

She prayed in this midnight with no hope that will happen.

The weekend went great for the girls, Roshini and Nidhi met in the park nearby on Sunday evening, discussing their love, life, and college they spent the evening. They had a spicy Paanipuri. Roshini threw the diet aside for half an hour. It is so tempting her.

Monday Nidhi seemed very out of the place, and Roshini was silent. Monday is the biggest disaster day. They are very tired and lazy after the weekend enjoyment. When they are walking to their class. Roshini saw Siddharth was talking with Aishwarya, with a small smile on his face.

She's so anxious to know the fact that her growing love is all coming to an end.