Things We Never Said

Four

I avoided Ethan for the entire day on Monday. I didn't hear from him all weekend. Not one text or call. I haven't even seen him in the halls and I always see him as I'm passing between my third and fourth period. Vanessa was nice enough to pick me up for school today. She hasn't said anything about what happened that night which I was grateful for. I was expecting for her to say "I told you so" or something along those lines, but it never came.

At lunch, I sat at our usual table in the cafeteria. It was too cold to sit outside today. Nessa was right yet again; the sunshine wouldn’t last for weeks. I threw my lunch down on the table next to Vanessa. A couple of our other friends were sitting with us as well.

"How was the party?" Piper asked.

"It was good," Vanessa replied.

I didn't want to talk about the party. Ever.

"Was it as wild as you see on TV?"

"Why didn't you go?" Vanessa asked.

Piper frowned. "My mom wouldn't let me."

"You didn't miss much," I added.

Piper crinkled her freckled nose. "I guess." She was about to say something else when she froze with her mouth open.

Two dark figures loomed over Vanessa and me. We both turned to see Alex and Gabe.

"Do you mind if we join you?" Gabe asked.

I shook my head and scooted over making space for him. "Not at all."

Piper and Dana exchanged a smirk. I refrained from throwing a carrot at them. They were going to make this very awkward.

Gabe sat next to Vanessa while Alex sat next to me.

"Why aren't you guys sitting with your friends?" Vanessa asked.

Of course, she would be so blunt and straight up ask them what they were doing here. I didn't want them to feel unwelcome and that's exactly what she was doing.

Gabe laughed. "If you don't want us here, all you have to do is say so."

Vanessa rolled her eyes. "If that was the case, I would've just said no when you asked to sit here."

"If you must know, we're sitting here because we want to."

Vanessa narrowed her eyes. "I'm sure. Did Krista put you up to this?"

"Nessa!" I hissed. Her questions were going too far now.

"It's okay, Rosalie," Gabe said. To Vanessa, "No, she did not put us up to this. We actually wanted to sit here by our own free will."

Vanessa stared at him, unsure of what to believe. She finally relaxed and laid off of them. The entire time Piper and Dana were watching with wide eyes. They weren't used to hanging out with the "popular" crowd.

"Anyone going to the game on Friday?" Gabe asked the table.

Dana shook her head. "I have to baby sit."

"I have a book club meeting," Piper chirped.

"Vanessa?" Gabe asked.

"I don't really like football," she deadpanned.

"You should go,” he insisted. “After the game we're going to go get milkshakes from Pepper's Diner."

"I heard their milkshakes are to die for," Piper said practically drooling. Everyone chuckled.

"What about you, Rosalie? Want to go?" Gabe asked.

"Uh, I don't know."

"I think you should go," Alex said smiling.

"I'll go if Vanessa goes."

"Not happening," she said, tossing her salad around.

"Come on! You need to go," Gabe insisted. "You can wear my jersey."

"What makes you think I want to wear your jersey?" she asked playfully. Was Vanessa flirting with Gabe?

"Who wouldn't want to?"

"Me."

Before Gabe could protest the bell rang. Everyone stood up from the table and gathered their belongings. Piper and Dana left in a hurry since their class was all the way on the other side of campus.

"I hope to see you there on Friday," Alex said.

"Maybe I'll make an appearance."

"Dude, we can't be late again," Gabe said to Alex. He turned to Vanessa and said, "This isn't over."

She laughed and rolled her eyes.

The hair on the back of my neck stood up. I felt someone watching me. I happened to glance in the direction of Ethan's table. He was there watching me with a frown on his face. Krista was holding onto his arm trying to get his attention. She followed his gaze to me and scowled when she saw that it was me.

"Rose!" Vanessa called. I turned my back on Ethan and followed her out of the cafeteria.

As Vanessa and I walked to our next class, I made a comment about Gabe and Alex sitting with us.

"I don't know why they wanted to sit with us. They haven't tried to talk to us in the last six months," she said.

"I think Gabe likes you."

Vanessa scoffed. "Doubtful."

"I don't think so."

"He's likes anything with a v****a that breaths."

"Ew! I don't think that's it but if you say so."

Vanessa laughed. "You honestly think he likes me?" she asked, quirking an eyebrow. She made somewhat of a disgusted face at the thought of him liking her.

"You don't think he's cute?"

"He's not bad looking. I just can't get over his haircut."

"His haircut?" I asked in disbelief. That's what she didn't like about him? His haircut?

"He's got that half comb over thing going on that makes him look like a complete preppy kid."

"It's not that bad."

"Could you imagine trying to run your fingers through his hair and they get stuck because of all the gel he uses."

I shook my head. "You are unbelievable sometimes."

She took it as a compliment. "Thanks!"

Fifth period went by too fast. Vanessa knew I was growing nervous as each minute passed by. I had my next class with Ethan, meaning I would finally have to face him.

Vanessa passed me a note. 

You good?

I think so. I quickly scribbled down and tossed back to her.

Don't let him get to you.

The bell rang. My hands were shaking as I grabbed my things. Vanessa walked with me to my next class. She kept telling me that I was going to be okay and I would make it through.

"I'll see you after school?" she asked.

I nodded.

"Meet me at my car."

Another nod from me.

I took a deep breath before walking through the door of my next class. Ethan's desk was empty. I debated on sitting in my normal seat or moving to another spot. I took the seat next to his.

I watched as students filed in. We had a couple minutes left until the final bell. He was probably running late as always. The final bell rang but I still kept my eye on the door, expecting him to walk in.

He never showed.

I could barely focus on the homework in front of me. I had read the same paragraph twice now. I even turned off my phone and threw it on my bed to keep myself from looking at it every two seconds.

Earlier today when Vanessa was driving me home, she asked me how my class with Ethan went. I told her how he never showed, and it made her angry. She called him a few pretty names and told me that I was better off without him.

I wasn't sure that I was.

Giving up on trying to study, I shoved all my books in my backpack. I left a note for my mom explaining that I was going to the coffee shop to study.

I listened to music as I walked. I skipped every sad song because I knew what would happen if I listened. I tried not to think about him. I grew sad at the thought of this being the end of our friendship.

The smell of coffee hit me about a block away from the shop. I smiled at the thought of having a latte in a few minutes. I grabbed a table in the back corner. I ordered my latte then started setting up my station as I waited for my coffee.

When they called my name, I rushed to the counter. I took a sip right away, feeling a bit better. I was able to get through the first page of my English homework. Before I knew it, an hour had passed. It was going to start getting dark soon, so I decided to stay for thirty more minutes before leaving.

Someone cleared their throat.

I glanced up.

"Hi," Ethan said.

"Hey." I started putting my things in my backpack.

He ran a hand through his hair and sat down. Ethan's eyes were red. It looked as if he didn't get much sleep last night. Good, I thought to myself.

"I'm sorry," he said. "I know I made you go to the party when you didn't want to and I left. Krista came and I had no idea she was going to be there. We had an argument and I had to follow her out. Please, I feel awful."

"Ethan-"

"I know I messed up. Let me make it up to you." I just stared at him. "Please, say you forgive me."

I sighed. "Of course, I forgive you."

“You did what?” Vanessa asked as I grabbed my books from the locker.

“I forgave him.”

“Why didn’t you make him beg or plead. You gave in way to easy.”

I glared at her. “I’m not going to make him beg.”

“You’re too nice.”

“Call it whatever you want but if it was you, I would’ve done the same thing.”

“There would be no reason for you to forgive me because I wouldn’t have done anything in the first place!”

“It’s fine, Ness.”

“The fact that you think it’s fine, is not fine.”

I followed Ness out of the main entrance and to the parking lot. She was kind enough to give me a ride home since Ethan texted me last minute that he couldn’t take me home. He said something important came up.

We were at Ness’ car and she dug around her backpack for her keys. She pulled them out and smiled at me. Quickly, her smile faded to a frown. “Is that Ethan?” she asked.

I glanced behind me to find him at his car in a heated conversation with Krista. They were very close to each other. He had his hands on her hips and he leaned closer in.

I quickly turned away. I didn’t understand. He had told me he had an emergency and was going to leave early.

“Some emergency,” Vanessa muttered.

As soon as the car was unlocked, I got in. Vanessa quietly got in after me. She was silent the entire ride home. I was upset. More than upset. He could’ve just told me he had plans with Krista, instead of lying to me and claiming he had some emergency.

Vanessa dropped me off at home and I just wanted to go straight to my room. Mom heard me come in and called me to the kitchen. I put on a fake smile before stepping into the living room.

“Do you want to help me cook tonight?” she asked.

“I actually have a lot of homework…”

“Oh okay.” Mom was disappointed. “No Ethan today?”

“No, he’s hanging out with Krista today.”

Mom slowly nodded. “Is everything okay?”

“Everything is fine. I’m just stressed.”

“Okay. I’m here if you need anything.”

“I know.”

As I made my way upstairs to my room, a tear slipped down my cheek. I rushed to my room, throwing my backpack down on the floor and throwing myself on the bed. I cried into my pillow.

I just couldn’t understand why Ethan had lied to me. Then I started thinking that maybe he didn’t lie, and she was his emergency or that there was more to the story. I just couldn’t believe that Ethan would lie to me.

My phone started going off and I quickly grabbed it, pathetically hoping it was Ethan. I hit silent when I saw that it was Vanessa. I threw myself back down on the bed and let myself cry some more.

I’m not sure how long I cried for but eventually I had nothing left to cry. So, I just laid in bed and stared at the ceiling. Eventually I got bored and turned on the TV only to stare at it blankly. I didn’t understand what was happening, but it was a nice distraction.

Mom called me down for dinner and it was silent between the two of us. She made small talk and I nodded and answered only when I really needed to. I think Mom understood that I was having a bad day because she eventually stopped asking me questions. I went back up to my room after dinner to stare at the TV some more.

Every time I closed my eyes, I thought about Ethan. I thought about everything that we had gone through. I thought about when we were younger and all of our good memories. I didn’t know exactly what I was feeling or what to even feel.

I pulled out my phone and scrolled through photos of us. It made me sad as I continued to scroll farther and farther back. I had to stop looking and shove my phone in my drawer. I tried to sleep but I was restless.

I kept the TV on just for background noise so that I could drown my thoughts. I didn’t want to remember. I didn’t want to think. I hated this feeling. It was as if someone had tied strings around my heart and was pulling the strings tighter and tighter. It was actually becoming hard to breath.

Finally, giving up on trying to fall asleep I went to the bathroom to wash my face. I needed to calm down and stop overthinking. I just needed to talk to him tomorrow. I’m sure he had a good explanation. Ethan would never intentionally hurt me or lie. I just knew it.

We were best friends after all.