Bittersweet

Chapter- 7

It felt like she is turning insane keeping her mouth shut when she badly wants to talk with him. But that's isn't easy to do when she is in no place of wrong. After all her useless ego doesn't allow her to compromise however in the meantime she realized there is no other choice for her either.

In her life she was and she is always playing the role as a compromise, no one ever has apologized to her even though she was hurt by them, and no one has pleased her for anything since Sathya was never in that position. For all her life she was pathetic in the eyes of others.

And now she came to the conclusion that her role will never be changed seeing her headstrong husband.

So I have to apologize!

Sighing in a defeat she Flipped that strand of hair aside that disturbing her, she gazed at Raghu like almost glaring. After that incident happened three days before Raghu stopped talking to her entirely. Not even a word came from his mouth. Only she will ask something and he will answer like a mute person.

But he doesn't stop to escort Sathya from house to her work. His concerns were building so many confusion in her.

Is this how married life will be? She asked gazing Raghu who is looking for shaving creams.

"Yeah, don't you know that!" Someone said from her behind and she immediately turned to see a middle-aged man talking on the phone. Rocking her head as okay, she smiled getting that answer. Before marriage, her mom said she will be happy and all her worries will fade away if she gets a companion. But now this relationship is added to one among the hundred problems she is having in her life, she thought walking behind Raghu.

The convenience store was busy and people are quite everywhere even at this night time. Before going home Raghu stopped the bike and Sathya got down looking him, without giving any explanations he walked inside the store. And now she is following him thinking how stressful this is!

Sathya picked three packs of sanitary napkin cause she is out of it. Bath soaps, shampoos, and some green tea packs were on her basket.

Raghu purchased a lot of things for him and some household supplies. They billed it separately. But when Sathya took her wallet out to pay for her things Raghu already gave the bill amount and walked out carrying the things.

She gritted nevertheless Sathya couldn't understand his behavior. One if he is truly angry he has to show it or should stay normal, but this is so irritating to her.

Getting on the bike she decided to convince him after going home.

The climate was so chill due to two days of heavy rainfall. She is now feeling like she was in her hometown Ooty, where the climate will be so cool.

She doesn't know why she eventually hugged Raghu which made him slow down the bike a bit. He gritted and looked her hand clasping his hip tightly.

He diverted the bike to the direction of the beach instead of to their house. Sathya was blankly staring at objects passing by with that half closed eyes. When she saw they were driving towards the beach she took her hand from him.

"Why we are here?" She asked him hoping he would answer.

"To have dinner," he told loudly.

If he asked me I can prepare after we get home, why he is wasting money? Or did he started hating my cooking? she doubted.

Raghu stopped the bike before a hotel which looked small and cheap. It's a briyani hotel near the beach and that was so crowded by the people.

He ordered two servings and waited until it was served. Giving one to Sathya, he said. "It will taste good like yours," he said. That instantly made Sathya smile.

As he said the Briyani was great and spicy. They had it standing beside the bike looking at the ocean.

Sathya didn't start while eating, Raghu occasionally glanced at her thought he is going overboard in admiring his wife. He is damn curious to know her. Why she is too nice to him?

In his life he heard women are talkative, do a lot of makeup, spent too much money on clothes and accessories, he knew they do have their own suffering but Sathya broken all his assumptions from the day one he met her.

After marriage, she surprised him in each and everything she does. Which led him to question his own heart... He thought she would hate a person like him but she again proved he is wrong. But now he is going to do something which he wants to do for a long time

After eating Raghu paid the bill and Sathya was ready to leave. She looked at him but he pacing here and there, "Shall we go for a walk?" He asked.

"Uh?" She stared him in a surprise.

"Let's walk," he snorted.

Sathya grinned after he took a few steps away from her.

This is the right time Sathya, talk what you feel! She cheered.

For some time they both were silent and Sathya was the first one to start on the conversation.

"I am sorry if you're hurt by what I said on the other day. Actually, I felt so insulted when you asked that question," she said slowly looking down.

He stopped. seeing how afraid she is Raghu's face calmed.

"No, what I said is wrong,"

"And what I am doing is wrong. You are always good to me," he confessed.

Sathya can't help than to smile by his words. "You are not wrong, it is your nature and I can understand you," she smiled.

"How?" He narrowed his eyes.

"Because I am moreover like you. If I am angry, sad or confused I won't talk much and stay like a robot," she looked away reminding the days when she was lonely, hopeless and jobless.

"But you talked with me," he reminded her.

"I won't show that attitude to my parents and I don't know why it goes same for you too. I can't get angry on you," Raghu gulped seeing her eyes. There is trueness in it.

There lies a spark for this relationship.

"Why? You like me?" He asked that made her eyes to grow wider.

She nodded as No, "I don't know,"

"Whatever, I don't want it either," he huffed. "Let's not create this situation again," he added and started walking.

"Hmm," she nodded and followed him.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Umm?"

"You don't have any close friends?"

"No," he nodded.

"What you will do when you are free?" She asked.

"Just like this, I go for a long drive and have food. Or I will read books and sleep," he answered.

"What you will do?" He asked.

"I don't get free time at all. If I get leave for one or two days I will go home to see my parents, they are my everything. Just like you, I don't have any friends since no one likes to be my friend I guess," she chuckled.

"Your parents are really lucky to get a daughter like you?" He suddenly told which turned her face irk.

"You are working hard to support your parents which is really great about you," he appreciated her which turned her cheeks to color pink.

No one ever said this to her, it lured her soul. This word means so much to her. She has done so many things to her parents and sacrificed so many things for them but no one appreciated her than her mom and dad.

We all need that small encouragement to move forward and Sathya for the first got this from an unexpected person, her husband.

She couldn't smile instead felt something strange in her. She tries to brush it off and look at him but she couldn't. Biting her lower she looked him.

"You are too young than me and you are too good to me but I am worthless for you," his words took her aback.

"Why you are talking like this? I am worthless for you. Please don't think that way," she retorted.

"Sathya?" He called out her name.

She raised her head up to meet his black orbs that looking her sharp.

"I am going to tell you something, which you have to know," his face was serious and stern.

"I am having a genetic disorder called Marfan Syndrome. Don't you noticed my hand and feet are bigger than normal persons, it is because of that syndrome," he said in an apologetic tone.

Sathya can't understand what he is talking about and just looking at him blankly.

"I am sorry for hiding this from you, it is not intentional." Saying this he turned keeping his hand on his forehead.

Sathya have some knowledge about the genetic disorder, but she doesn't have any clue about this Marfan Syndrome.

She doesn't know how to react. She felt happy by his words just a few moments before now everything vanished without traces.

"My disorder is at a mild level so no one can identify it easily,"

"When the first time I came to meet you I was in a determination to tell this to you before marriage itself, but after seeing you I couldn't,"

"But I can't be at ease hence I said this to your parents and explained about my disease. I even asked them to stop this marriage if they want to. But they said only one thing is to Marry you grabbing my hand"

"I don't have another option, feeling this would be the destiny I married you. But another stupid thing I did is consummating this marriage. Every time I am losing to your warmth. In your embrace, I am feeling so contented."

"This emphasis me for all these days. Now tell me, am I worthy to you?" Raghu asked grabbing her shoulders and Sathya's eyes welled in tears.

"I don't want my children to have this syndrome,"

"Sathya think practically, hereafter don't smile at me like that way, don't be nice to me," he told grabbing her hand.

For a minute she didn't speak anything and looked at his inner self. How difficult for him to hide this from me.

"I can't," she replied to his needs and pushed him.

She started walking to the bike and Raghu followed her sighing in frustration.

He started the bike and drove it at high speed. Sathya gulped her tears.

Save it! She thought as she didn't want to shed tears for him, for a situation like this.

"Did you understand what I said, answer me?" he asked after they entered home.

"I do, what you want me to do then?"

"Do you want me to leave you? After all this, I can't," She shouted at him crying and walked into the bedroom.

Raghu sat on the couch, closing his eyes, his lips curled into a smile reminding her answer.

I KNOW I AM WORTHLESS TO HAVE YOU BUT I STILL WANT YOU...