Bittersweet

Chapter- 8

Sathya was laughing out loud watching that comedy scene playing on the television. She won't watch TV at day time, only at night since it will help her to fall asleep soon. But now she is sitting before the TV this afternoon time to avoid her thoughts which dwelling her in the room called 'No place for HOPE'

Yeah, right now she is so hopeless and doesn't know what was the purpose of the things that happen in her life.

She kept changing the channels pressing the remote's button. But she couldn't find the peace that she is searching for. She randomly paused on the music channel where a sad love song was playing and placing the remote on her lap and she stared at it blankly.

That time Raghu entered the house, Sathya looked his face but he turned down and locking the door behind Raghu slowly gazed at her in a kind of apologetic way.

She found his face was calm and handsome since yesterday he shaved off his beard that almost covering half of his face but she instantly twirled her head to the TV screen reminding the fight between them happened recently. She tried to never look at his face until he goes inside but she failed willingly.

His hand carried some packages and his eyes were fixed on her. She wanted to reconcile with him but something doesn't let her do it. Gripping the hem of her saree Sathya stared only the TV and he doesn't drag it further and walked inside the bedroom.

Sathya hates this Sunday, it feels like she was trapped with this headstrong man who caged her as she has nowhere to run. He does cage her, mentally running on her brain all the time.

Because of this, she lost all her interest in new things at work, and she hates when she doesn't have anything to do.

It's been a month since Raghu revealed his Marfan syndrome. Their conversation became even lesser compared to before. And they don't engage in love.

At first, Sathya doesn't want to think about his confession and assumed it won't be a problem between them. But as the time moves she started to read about it, the more she knew it the more she developed fears, whether what he said might happen.

Like Raghu, she doesn't want any of her children to have that syndrome.

But at the same time, nothing clearly states that he is indeed having that syndrome. His long arms and legs are the only visible symptom, other than that he doesn't look like the images given on the internet.

Till now she is staying quiet and never asked anything about this to him cause she felt he might feel bad if she questions him.

He doesn't have anyone and now this revelation made her heart grow big and bigger with too much affection into it. But he seemed to be the same. In fact, he is getting angry at her even for small things. Last week's fight was a fine example.

That day Raghu was so silent and his face was so dull, when they entered the home he went straight to the bed without changing his clothes.

Sathya find it odd, she went near him and kneeling on the floor she caressed his forehead to check whether he has a fever. "What happened?" She asked him showing all her concerns.

"That's none of your business, go and do your work," he retorted like slapping across her face.,

Which eventually made Sathya get angry. "I just asked what happened, why you are shouting at me?"

"I said I don't need your concern right, just get out," he snapped and turned to the other side to sleep.

From that moment Sathya not even spoke a word to him. She is sad not because of the fight but because of him. He is throwing her out when she nears his boundary, and he snaps her down when she reaches out her hand for him. She is feeling hopeless seeing his attitude.

What did I do wrong? She longingly asks his silhouette but the reply she hasn't got it.

Turning off the TV she laid on the couch. She hasn't spoken to her parents properly. She couldn't ask why they did this to her, why they hid this from her but she doesn't want to hurt them.

Happened is happened! Nothing can be changed! She knows it too well and accepted this would be her life with no such thing called true happiness.

Her eyes welled in tears thinking this. She won't cry easily but nowadays she is feeling so weak.

At that time, the sudden knock on the door stopped her tears, she wiped it and adjusting her saree and headed to open the door, Raghu came out of the room hearing it.

She opened to find the middle-aged security in-charge of their apartment.

"Madam is there is any leakage on the pipes in the kitchen," he asked her smiling.

"No Anna," she nodded and Raghu came in front almost covering his wife.

"Oh, if you have any problem please inform me in the office, sir," his smiling face went sore looking Raghu's glare.

"Okay," his voice sounded a little rude too.

Sathya in a surprise watched her husband. Why he is acting like this? She thought and went to the kitchen.

Raghu followed her, taking the chill water from the fridge and leaning on the kitchen counter he drank it looking her rear side. "Don't allow him inside if I am not in the home," his sudden statement again astonished her.

"Hmm," she nodded as yes not turning back since she is busy preparing tea for them.

His eyes scanned her figure, she is wearing a saree today, and she hasn't tide her hair, left it free.

It initiated all the possibilities of temptation to touch her but his uncompromising attitude stood before his nose.

He knew what he did is wrong, but he doesn't have that courage to apologize. He is hurting her too much, but if she initiates he will meltdown in second. He is waiting for that opportunity but she isn't giving one.

When Raghu saw a few of her hair strands are inside her blouse he can't stop himself than to go near her.

Feeling his closeness her heart starts to race. No! Don't compromise with him! She told assuming he will hug her but he didn't. He placed the bottle on the slab and backed off.

Turning off the stove she looked at him. "What I did to you?" She asked in that very low tone.

"Don't you feel bad for not talking to me. But I am feeling so sad without talking that few of our conversation," she said her heart out.

He was surprised by her,"I am sorry, " he apologized still having that pride.

She sighed listening to it, this irritates her rather than compromising. Seeing her bored expression Raghu clenched his jaw.

"Look at me," he held her hand turned her to face him.

"I will tell you this one time, get this into your head properly. From now on don't apologize for the mistakes that I am doing and don't expect me to apologize because I am not used to it. I grew in an environment different from yours or anyone. I know what I am doing and did is wrong. Even if I beat you I need you to talk to me like normal. This is what I am expecting from you. I know I am sounding selfish but as you said earlier I don't want you to leave me either." Telling this Raghu went out leaving her stunned.

She thought he doesn't affect by their fight but he is!

After preparing the tea she took the cups to the balcony where Raghu was standing. Even they won't talk Sathya never failed to cook for him, she made sure he eats all the time or else she can't be at peace.

Sathya couldn't be silent after this, "Don't mistake me for asking this, when did you find that you are having this syndrome?" She asked.

"Before entering commonwealths I had breathing problems while running. The doctor who checked me doubted whether I have the syndrome seeing my feet and hands, the test results showed I am having 20% of the effect which is very milder," he told looking front.

"After that, this news started spreading to everyone, you don't know about the politics in sports. They disqualified me to enter Olympics giving this as a reason, and this is the actual reason for quitting sports," He told and Sathya felt sorry for him.

"I don't know how I got this syndrome, my family history is unknown to me. I don't take medications for this, and I am not sure whether it will inherit to our kids but prevention is better than cure," he lined up his answers beforehand for the question that she thought to ask.

"But we can't stay without having Kids."

"I know, we can adopt a Child. That was my wish... to give a home for a kid like me," he said.

Sathya's eyes welled in tears hearing his words.

He has gone through a lot without having anyone beside him and all these days he considers himself homeless? Her heart irked getting this realization.

Knowing him was easy yet tough to her since she is seeing herself in every bit of him, she is learning herself in his words and actions. Even now he is effortlessly hiding the pain behind his expressionless face which she does all the time.

A lone tear slipped on her cheeks looking Raghu who is watching the birds flying high on the sky