Detention & Coping with the Past
1541 Words
I walked around the school grounds the soft green grass squished underneath my feet. It was raining so I left my robe inside. I pulled up my sleeves letting the cold air meet my skin, tiny water droplets falling on me; I felt refreshed. I traced the white lines on my wrist with my fingers. Thinking of my past.
I started talking out loud thinking I was alone. "Why is my life like this? Where is my happiness? I'm alone and unwanted. Why did I get stuck with this life? I'm tired of being strong. I'm tired of lying to everyone and myself. I'm not me anymore. Ill never be loved, why does life hate me so much! I didn't choose this life, I was thrust into it. I hate myself. I should of ended my life already."
I fell to the ground by a tree and cried. Thank hell it wasn't the whomping willow. I looked at the sky for a bit and started heading back to the castle.
I got to the potions room and no one was inside so I decided I was gonna peek around. The shelf on the left side of the wall was full of herbs and ghastly things like frog legs and stuff like that. I wandered around to the other side where cauldrons lay, they were nasty with green gunk. Must of been the first years. I waved my wand and they cleaned themselves; placing them on the shelf I walked behind Snape's desk to the back wall. He had potions and his own cauldron, a small book was laid on the side. I picked it up examining it.
"Advance Potion Making" "Property of the Half-Blood Prince"
"Curious-" I muttered.
"What do you think you're doing?" I didn't hear Snape come in. I snapped my head around putting the book back in its place.
"Sorry you were late so I had a look around". I shrugged.
"Well next time you feel the need to look around make sure it isn't my office, go clean the cauldrons I have work to do. Where is your Slytherin robe?". He scolded.
"Dully noted, and sir I already have, they were in a gross pile so I fixed it, I don't do messes or gross things; my robe is in my dorm I don't like wearing it if I don't have to."
He looked me over then towards the cauldrons then at me again. "Fine then just work on the paper I assigned earlier." He grunted.
"All my home work is done sir, I could help you do your work"? I asked.
"Alright then sit here and grade these. you know how to grade right?" He quirked an eyebrow and slid a chair across from himself."
I laughed a bit. "I'll tell you whether it horrific to an extreme or its pretty good." He tossed me half of the papers.
We sat in silence while I read then gave him the paper and told him if it was good or bad. I got the hang of the grading so it was really quiet.
I broke the silence with a laugh I couldn't contain while reading this paper. Snape looked at me.
"What are you laughing at?" He muttered.
I stopped laughing a little and handed him the paper. "Read what this Valeria girl put as her answers."
He took the paper from me gently grazing my hand, it felt weird. I could tell he felt it too, this small jolt, something dark. As he read the paper he started to chuckle with a lopsided grin. I looked at him, I felt my cheeks get warm.
"Ignorant girls". He finally said giving the paper a fail. He looked at me and I quickly adverted my gaze to the papers in front of me.
It was a long silence that was so uncomfortable I tried to start a conversation. "So what's your whole name?" I blurted.
He gave a strange look. "Why"?
"Just cause I'll be in here the next 4 nights we can't just sit in silence." I said matter of fact.
"Why not"? He gave me a stern look.
I gave up. "Fine, whatever". I sighed.
He finally spoke after a few minutes. "Severus Tobias Snape, and your name?"
I didn't look up from the parchment I was writing a fail on. His name was so serious and yet soft, it was cute. "Mercy Nox". I spurred out.
"You don't have a middle name?" He asked.
"Nox is my middle name, I, I, just don't use my last name." I hope he didn't ask any further questions. No such hope again.
"Why don't you?" He didn't really seem like he cared. I still answered.
"Its hard to explain, my mom died when I was 3 and my father never told me her last name. I refuse to take my father's last name in fact I'm not suppose to say his name. My father left me. he had a choice and he chose wrong. I've been paying for his poor decision and judgment all my life, it takes so much not to give up, I about did but Albus found me and I told him everything, he saved me. I owe that man a lot. That's why Albus is my guardian. I don't mean that like he's my angel I mean it like he's legally my guardian." After I finished rushing out all those words he gave me a disapproving look.
"I'm, I'm, so sorry. I shouldn't be ranting to you, it's not your problem." I started fidgeting with my quill.
At first his big black eyes got soft like he felt sorry or he cared then they went dark and cold. "You're right, there's a counselor in the east wing. By the Ravenclaw's dorm."
I looked down. "No I'm fine I prefer to stay in the Slytherin dungeon area, I don't like to talk to people about my problems, I shouldn't even have said anything to you." I could feel my heart growing cold again.
"I heard you talking outside when I was coming back from the owl barn. What was that about, the ending of your life?" His voice was smooth.
"I have depression I take medicine for, also anger. You were listening to me? Why I didn't even see you?" I rushed.
"I didn't stalk you or anything I was walking back to my office from the owl barn so I could send a letter. I had to stop and drop something off to Albus." He grunted.
We sat in more silence there was only 30 minutes left for detention. I came passed Harry Potters paper. I scoffed.
"What another horrible paper?" Severus asked.
"I don't know haven't read the paper yet, but here you should cause I'd fail him just on my own will." I smirked handing him the paper.
"Harry Potter? Do you not like Potter?
"No I do not, everyone thinks he's such a celebrity cause of what he did, he's nothing I could crush him without my wand- sorry sir I don't know why I'm feeling so talkative today." I blushed under his stare.
"Its fine, I dislike Potter as well. His arrogance is annoying, he can't pay attention for more than 5 minutes. He's defiantly more like James than Lily. He scribed a deserving fail on the parchment avoiding my eyes.
"James and Lilly. Those were his parents they died the night he killed them. You knew them?"
"Yes lily was my best friend once, but James was a slime ball." He balled his fist.
I looked at him and instantly knew his pain, the same pain I felt when you lose someone you truly love. "You thought of lily more than a friend didn't you? I asked barely above a whisper.
He looked at me with a straight face. "Get out detention is up". He growled.
I got up from my chair and went to the door. I turned to around. "Goodnight Severus, see you tomorrow". I said only loud enough for him to hear.
I walked quickly to the great hall to see a bunch of people talking and eating. I sat in my normal spot and ate a piece of pizza. As soon as I finished it I grabbed a bottle of water and talked to Anna.
"There's this guy named Ben In Ravenclaw he's so cute and he asked me out." My eyes adverted from Anna talking and saw Severus come through the side door and sit.
I watched him for a bit thinking. He looked up from the stuffing he was eating and caught me looking. I didn't look away my eyes were locked with his until Anna shook me. "Are you okay Anna?" She asked worrying.
"I'm fine I was just thinking, why don't you go find Ben and talk I'm done eating, I'm just gonna sit and write a bit before I head off to the shower and bed."
She hugged me and left to find Ben. Thank hell. I pulled out my journal and my quill that doesn't require ink, its enchanted to never run out. I began to write.
*I know it's not so great but don't worry it'll get better*
- Writer
