Learning to Love the Spinster

Chapter 7

In the coming days her life fell into a pattern. Philipa woke up at six ate her breakfast to go on a long walk, she would return to work in the gardens. Philipa would nap after luncheon, and she would sit by the hearth and work on making children’s clothes with Anna in the evening. Philipa was horrible at sewing; however she never had an interest until now. Philipa’s sewing was making vast improvements every day. Her mother passed away when she was young, and while her family grew closer together Philipa’s only influences were male.

When Flip’s tutor came to her father and told him that she was doing horribly in sewing, pianoforte, and other “lady studies.” Her father asked the tutor what she was excelling at. The tutor was stumped at first but reluctantly admitted that Flip excelled in mathematics as well in languages and reading. Her father instead of being upset that his daughter failed in ladylike persists instead fired the tutor and started having her learn alongside her brother.

Jack’s tutor balked at first, until he saw that Flip was in fact a better student than Jack himself. Flip learned from the Tudor until it was time for her to go to an all girls school. Philipa hated that girls school. She only made one friend there, and that was Lady Kanewood.

Flip continued to sew her little project and went to different memories. Philipa remembered watching her mother doing the exact same thing when she was a child. Philipa would every so often rub her belly thinking of the baby within her

The days continued on in this pattern; days turned into weeks, and before Philipa knew it a month had gone by. Helen, Anna’s sister, told her that her baby as well as her were in amazing health. Philipa could not be happier with that news, knowing that her babe was developing well. Philipa also couldn’t help but notice the small changes in her body. She was plump and had not yet to show her pregnancy.

However, she did have a small bump as to where her babe grew, and her breasts increased, to her it seemed daily. Helen had told her that at fourth months along with a child was the best time for a mother-to-be; she wouldn’t have the nausea and would soon start to feel her babe move within her. Philipa was excited to feel the babe move and couldn’t wait for the miracle to come.

As it happened, the night she felt the babe move was the very next night. She was working on a blanket for the babe when all of a sudden she felt the most peculiar sensation in her stomach, before it had just as quickly disappeared.

She started back to sewing the blanket when she felt it again it dawned on her that she was feeling her babe move within in her! She was absolutely thrilled, she put her hands to her belly and whispered,

"Aw my beautiful babe, I feel you moving around in there. I can't wait to meet you!" Just as quick as her joy came it spiraled into despair, Simon wasn't here with her, he didn't get to live this moment with her, and he never would. As quick as a flash, she felt like the girl abandoned in the green house all over again. Flip stopped the tears before they came, and reminded herself that she was no longer alone. Philipa had the baby to live for and to shower with love. Then as if to prove her point the baby kicked in her stomach once again.

“I love you too my previous child.”

.

Simon was sitting in London helping the Duke of York with his ledgers.

For the past several months Simon hadn’t been able to find the woman he had been so obsessed with despite his efforts. At this point he thought he imagined the whole thing. However, the dreams are so vivid, so real.

Managing the ledgers for the Duke is just the distraction that he needs. Jack would normally be the one to do it, but Jack was out of town visiting one of his estates in Scotland. The two of them have been balancing the ledgers for several hours when the Duke suddenly burst out.

“Damnation,” the duke swore.

“What is it your grace?” Simon asked looking up from the ledger he was working on.

“Simon you have known me your whole life, call me Henry.”

“All right what is the problem Henry?” Simon queried.

“I am missing one of the ledgers can you help me look?,” the duke asked searching his desk for it.

“Of course,” he said after a moment of searching “Flipana was going over the books before she left, maybe it’s in her room.”

“She was?” Simon couldn’t hide his surprise, he knew Flip was smart, but he didn’t know she was that smart. He was also rankled that he was unable to see her before she left again, after the house party in York.

“Yes she does it for me from time to time; will you check the desk in her room while I look in the other study?”

“Of course.” Simon climbed up the steps, and turned into Flip’s room. Simon felt out of place going through her desk, but the Duke asked. Simon came up with no ledger; he put her desk back in order and went to the door. As he turned he caught a flash of light blue. Simon whipped his head around and saw the same color dress as the woman who he met at the masquerade. Simon knew it couldn’t be Flip, that there was no possible way she would have let him bed her, but he couldn’t leave without knowing for sure. Simon walked slowly over to her closet, and he about fainted like a schoolroom chit, when he recognized the dress. Simon was beginning to think that it was a mistake, that the dress was fashioned different than the woman he bedded was, and that it was simply the same color. He believed that until he saw her mask on the floor, the mask was unmistakable to the woman he bedded in the greenhouse. The mask he stared at while he had the best climax of his life.

“Oh dear God I bedded my childhood friend.” Simon fell onto her bed, and went over that night in the greenhouse in fine detail. It was clear as day to him now, that she had been a maid. Simon remembered her flinch, at the time he thought his mouth on her breast was pinching too tightly. No I wasn’t hurting her breast, I was simply breaching her maidenhead, you big lummox.

“But why didn’t she say anything?” he asked himself. Then he remembered what he said after, and her reaction. Simon now remembered the hurt he saw in her eyes when he asked who she was. Simon considered himself lucky that she didn’t cosh him over his head for being the imbecile he was.

Good Lord, Jack was going to kill him. Simon told him things about his sister, no brother wants to know. Simon then wondered where his new bride-to-be was. Simon thought over the past few months that she was hiding from him, now he knew why. Flip couldn’t stand the sight of him for the things he did to her. Simon thought about what happened, and hoped she didn’t hate him.

How am I going to be able to face the Duke? I can never look him in the eye again. Simon went down the stairs and told the butler to inform His Grace that an emergency had arisen and he had to leave.

Simon left and went directly to his club. It was time to drown his sorrows in alcohol. He went to a secluded spot and asked for a bottle of brandy to be brought to him immediately. He went through half of the bottle before he allowed himself to think of anything.

Marriage.

To his best friends sister.

This is the last thing he wanted for himself, marriage. Simon figured that he would not marry any one for at least five years, he didn’t want a woman to make demands on him, and on his time. When he did marry it would have been to a woman that knew he only wanted heirs from her, no promises of love. He knew Flipana wanted love, to love some one and to be loved.

‘I will never be able to make her happy.” That is all that he could think, he never made any one in his life happy; his parents, his siblings, or his mistresses. He didn’t leave them unsatisfied in bed, that was a fact. They wanted more than he was willing to give; they wanted to get close to him. They most likely wanted to get close to him so he would keep them after he married, but when he didn’t open up, they eventually moved on to another wealthy gentleman. Simon poured himself another stiff drink, and downed it.

‘what am I going to do with a wife?” Simon thought to himself. The whiskey was starting to affect him. His thoughts drifted to the night with Flipana in the greenhouse. He grew hard thinking about her lush body and tight quim.

Simon must have dozed off in the chair, for he came awake with a start. He glanced at the window and saw that the sun went down several hours ago. He must of drank more than he thought. Simon turned around to what had started him, it was Leo Sheffield and his close friends Viscount Trent and the Baron Ludwick.

“Come Sheffield you can’t be serious about marrying her.” Trent was stating.

“Why in the world do you want to marry her in the first place?” Ludwick asked Sheffield. Simon’s hands clutched his seat in anger.

“The normal reasons of course. Her father is a Duke, and left her a generous dowry. You can’t think that I actually care for the chit, she looks like a homely spinster.”

“But why-“ Trent was cut off by noticing Simon as he stood up. Simon turned around, stared at Sheffield directly.

“I will make sure and inform the Duke of York knows how you really feel about his daughter,” Simon said in a lethally chilling voice. Sheffield stared at him incredulously;

“You said it yourself, no one will want her for any reason other than her dowry.” Simon clenched his hands in an effort to tamp down the urge to smash his face.

“I was a complete ass, not to mention wrong. If I were you I’d leave before I loose my temper.” Sheffield could hear and feel the anger radiate from him. He gave Simon a brief nod before exiting the club.

That bloody bastard. There was just something about him Simon didn’t like. Simon couldn’t place it, he just came off as slimy. Simon needed to have one of the Runners do a search on him. Jack said Sheffield was starting to court Philipa, but why all of a sudden? She had been out for several years. Something seems out of place, Simon intends to find out what.