7.
1339 Words
And I hate myself.
I feel so guilty of cheating on Caleb and I know I should tell him, but I am scared he will end whatever we have... and I don't want that. Caleb is sweet and kind. He is definitely boyfriend material. He makes me feel special and makes me smile and laugh. He makes me forget everything; he is the one for me. Just like dad is my mom's the one. I ruined everything. That stupid dare ruined everything. Talon ruined everything.
And this has been going around for the entire weekend, I am avoiding Caleb's calls and messages, guilty of cheating him, I cannot face him but I have to... on Monday. God. Why did I go to that party? Did it ruin everything? It did… it will ruin us if I tell him that I cheated on him. That too with our... My rival. I'm such a b***h.
"Hey, sweetie," Mom says, looking from her laptop. I smile at her, sitting beside her. "Whatcha doing?" I ask. "Just work… Technically my boss is being a bitch... She wants everything to be done quickly..." I giggle, as she smiles, caressing my blonde hair. "It’s so sad... I feel guilty of not spending time with you, sweetheart..." she caresses my cheek, as I smile. "It’s okay momma... I know you work because you want me to have a bright future... All your sacrifices are for me... I know it all…"
"Awww... When did my princess grow up?" she says, as dad comes and hugs her from behind, kissing her cheek. "Our princess..." he says, as I smile at a lovely couple of my parents. I don't care if they kiss in front of me...I am never embarrassed, it's their way to show their love for each other. I always want to be like them... Caleb and I... Alas, that does not gonna happen now that I have cheated on him.
I clear my throat, as my parents look at me after looking all lovey-dovey at each other. I get up, "I must go now. Alyssa and I have made a plan of hanging out in the mall, today." I kiss my parents cheeks, "bye!"
"Bye, sweetie.." they say, as I grab my handbag and walk outside the door. I wear a baby pinkish-white summer dress with a white sneaker and a denim jacket, letting my hair flow open and have a bag over my shoulder. I look cute for shopping and talking with my best friend.
***
"Hey girl!" Alyssa calls for me, as I smile at her, walking towards her. I see a few people looking at us, but I don't care. "You said you wanted to talk!?" she asks, as we break our best friends hug. I nod. "Let's shop while I tell you what I want to say.." I say. Alyssa is better to talk when she is pre-occupied... Like shopping.
Alyssa nods, "Victoria Secret!" and we walk inside the best lingerie showroom ever.
As we look for different lingerie’s, trust me, it took a lot of time... Then we cross each other in the changing rooms. Alyssa decides to check first, I stand in front of her room... And advice her what lingerie suits her... Don't get me wrong, we aren't lesbians… I am sure you to do this with your best friends. Right?
"So you are saying that you feel guilty about kissing your ex-best friend s***h crush and present rival...." she says, from inside the booth. I nod, but then realize she won't be able to see me, "Yeah..."
"I want to tell Caleb... I mean Caleb is my boyfriend and he deserves to know what I did...."
"I don't think so you should tell him that..."
"I know... I might lose him forever..."
"Ugh..." Alyssa groans. "That’s not what I meant..."
"Means?" she opens the door, in her loose t-shirt. "I meant... The kiss did not mean anything to you.." she asks. Wtf. Well, even though I kissed my rival... I don't know why I am saying this but it was the best kiss I ever had. Caleb couldn't make me feel like what he did during that kiss... As if the girl who used to like him was coming out of her shell... Happy to kiss him... Wtf. Stop talking. "OMG!!!" She squeals. I look at her. "You liked the kiss..." and I look down, guilty as charged. "You lack of response just told me that..."
"Alyssa... Stop it... And tell me what to do..." I say. "I have this guilt for three days... I did not attend school on Friday because of it… I don't know how to face Caleb..."
"T…" Alyssa says. "It’s not your fault. It was a dare. You had done it out of self-respect and for the rivalry... You hate Talon and you did this so that he doesn't get the satisfaction of winning over you. If Caleb was in your place, he would have done it too..." I nod. Okay, she is right. So right. Well, that's why she is my best friend. “You know me too well, Aly..." I smile, as she shrugs her shoulders." well, that's my job… I am so much better than others. "I smack her arm, jokingly and roll my eyes." love you, Aly…"
"Love you too, T…" and she pulls into her one of the bone-crushing hugs. I hug her back, smiling. And I have got the best-est. best friend..... Don't know what would I ever do without her?
***
"TAMARA!"
"TAMARA!"
"TAMARA!"
EVERYONE SHOUTS, AS I GULP THE VODKA SHOTS IN SECONDS... WHEN I PAUSE .... "AMARA!" I LOOK AROUND, ONLY TO MEET HIS BEAUTIFUL, YET MYSTERIOUS EYES... WAIT, DID I CALL HIS HIDEOUS EYES BEAUTIFUL? I AM REALLY DRUNK... THIS MEANS.
"YOU'RE DRUNK!"HE STATES, COMING CLOSER.
"NO SH*T, SHERLOCK!"I SLUR, AS I STUMBLE FORWARD TO HIM. HE LOOKS AT ME WITH CONCERN, GRABS ME BY ARMS BEFORE I COULD EVEN FALL. I LOOK AT HIM, INTO HIS EYES. HE WAS ALWAYS THERE WHEN I FALL... BUT THEN HE WAS ALWAYS THE REASON I FALL.
"LEAVE ME!" I JERK MY ARMS FROM HIS CRUTCHES, MOVING AWAY FROM HIM. I NEED TO GET AWAY FROM THE PARTY, AWAY FROM THE BEER SMELL, AND AWAY FROM HIM. "AMARA!" AND THAT MADE ME SURE THAT HE IS STILL FOLLOWING ME...
"GO AWAY, TALON..."I YELL. I DON'T KNOW WHY THE TEARS ARE COMING AND WHY AM I CRYING ALL OF THE SUDDEN. "I NEED AND WANT TO BE ALONE... I DON'T WANT YOU HERE!" I SHOUT, TRYING TO MINIMIZE MY SOBS.
"AMARA!!!" HE GRABS MY ARM, TURNS ME TO FACE HIM, AND HIS FACE SOFTENS SEEING MY CRYING RED FACE. "HEY...!!!" HE PUTS HIS WARM PALMS ON MY CHEEKS, PULLING MY CHIN UP AND MAKING ME LOOK AT HIM. "I AM SORRY, AMARA..."
I BLINK. "I AM SORRY FOR EVERYTHING... WHAT I DID TO YOU, IT WAS WRONG... I LIKE YOU DAMMIT... WHY DID I EVEN HURT YOU? I WAS A DICK..."I CHUCKLE, AND HE SMILES AT THIS. "YOU STILL ARE!"I SAY, AS HE CHUCKLES, NODDING. "I AM SORRY, AMARA...."HE LOOKS AT ME WITH PUPPY-EYES. I LAUGH, HUGGING HIM ALL OF SUDDEN... WHEN SUDDENLY EVERYTHING GOES BLACK.
I OPEN MY EYES, ONLY TO FIND MYSELF IN A ROOM. DJ STILL PLAYING MUSIC DOWNSTAIRS. I AM ALONE IN THE ROOM, THIS TIME TALON'S NOT HERE WITH ME. I LOOK AROUND, FAMILIARIZING MYSELF WITH THE ROOM WHEN I HEAR MOANS AND GROANS. MY EYES WIDEN... GOD, AM I IN A ROOM WITH TWO s*x-ADDICTS? TALON AND CLAIRE? OR SOMEONE ELSE?
I LOOK TOWARDS THE BED, SLOWLY... THROUGH MY HANDS WHICH ARE ON MY EYES. WELL, YOU SEE I DON'T WANT TO GET SCARRED FOR LIFE. LOL. AND I SEE A BLONDE-HAIRED MERGING WITH A BRUNETTE... AND MY HANDS GOT REMOVED AUTOMATICALLY... SEEING THE SCENE IN FRONT OF ME, WITH DISGUST AND..........
- Writer
