The Demenios Reyes

Chapter 5 - Trying Not To Think About Javier.

"Addy"

Go away.

"Adrianna"

Please go away, mom.

"Wake up, baby girl"

I groan in annoyance.

"I wanna sleep, mom"

"I know you do, honey"

My mom chuckles.

"But you can't, you have to get up so that you can have something to eat, breakfast is gonna be served soon"

Urgh!!, food.

Why does the sound of greasy and delicious food sound so appealing yet very unappealing at the same time?.

"I'm never drinking again"

I say and my mom laughs.

"Oh my dear daughter, you always say that and you always end up drinking by the end of the day"

That's true.

I groaned when I tried to open my eyes and had to quickly close them again because they were burning.

Fuck.

"I hate your sons, mom"

"Why do you hate your brothers, Adrianna? they didn't force you to drink, honey"

"No but they didn't stop me either"

I whine as I clutch my head.

My mom laughed again as she lightly smacked my ass causing me to groan.

"Come on baby, get up and get showered, you smell like a goddamn brewery"

"Thanks, mom, you're so nice"

"You're welcome, now get up"

My mom leaves my room and I let out a huff in frustration.

"I feel like s**t"

"Serves you right for drinking whiskey like a goddamn trucker, Addy"

"Urgh!!, please heal me and make me feel better, Crescent"

"No, I might just leave you to suffer"

"Crescent, please"

I whine and whimper like a little baby.

Normally, I can take my drink and I rarely suffer from hangovers like this but when I do, it's because I've partied way too hard.

"Crescent, please be a good little wolf and heal me"

"Ok fine, you big baby...you always ruin my fun, Adrianna"

Crescent said as she healed me of this god-awful hangover.

"Thank you, my beautiful wolf"

"You're welcome, my little suck up"

I chuckle slightly as I roll over onto my back.

"Drinking is always so much fun until the next morning right, Ad"

"Aint that the truth, Crescent"

After laying there for another minute or so, I got up from my bed and went into my wardrobe to get myself some fresh clothes before going into my bathroom to have a very much-needed hot shower.

I quickly brush my teeth and wash my face before stripping out of my clothes and getting into the shower making sure to crank it up so that it was hot enough for me to handle but not too hot it'll burn me.

While I was washing my hair and body, I was singing along to an old song about not needing a man at the top of my lungs.

The song is older than I am but it's one that completely resonates with me and has done more so in the past couple of years since my heart turned into stone over my mate and I vowed to be an independent woman who didn't need a man to be happy, successful or to rely on for that matter.

I mean, how the hell can I rely on a man when the one man who was destined for me by the freaking moon goddess herself vanished into thin f*****g air?.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not a feminist or a man-hater who thinks all men are bad and I can live perfectly fine without one in my life because trust me, I'm not.

I'm lucky and very fortunate enough to be related to and raised around some of the best men this world has to offer.

My dad is the perfect man in my eyes and I always call him my first love because he taught me what a real man is like and how a real man should not only love his woman but also how he should treat her as well.

His relationship with my mom is the ultimate goal and one I hoped to have with Javier.

I always believed Javier was just like my dad because ever since I can remember he was always there for me and he always made time for me, he was my best friend as well as my mate and I loved him so freaking much.

This is why it hurts so freaking bad whenever I think about him because for sixteen years he was a constant in my life, he did everything to make sure I knew he loved and cared for me, he made so many promises to me and he always made me feel like I was the number one person/thing in his life even more important than his alpha president title which was really important to him.

I could feel tears fill my eyes as my mind filled with numerous thoughts and memories of Javier.

"f**k"

I growl as I punch the marble wall of my shower before resting my forehead against it.

It's been five years, why is he still affecting me like this?.

Why can't I just forget all about this motherfucker?.

"Because he's your mate, Addy and you love him"

Pfft, love.

I scoff.

I wish I could deny what Crescent said but I can't because it's the truth.

I do love him, I love him very much, I just don't want to anymore because I'm tired.

I'm so freaking tired of loving a man who clearly doesn't love me as much as I love him because if he did then he'd be here with me and we'd be together happily running his pack as the alpha and Luna.

There's also a chance that we may have gotten married as well and had a few kids but sadly, we'll never know now.

I let out a sigh as I switch off the shower and get out wrapping a towel around my body and a smaller one around my hair.

I then go over to my vanity area where I dry my body before moisturising myself and putting some deodorant on.

After doing my usual routine, I get dressed wearing a white lace bra and thong set, a white vest top, denim shorts, a red, blue and white chequered shirt which I've wrapped around my waist, a pair of white ankle socks and my favourite pair of white Converse Chuck Taylors.

I also put on my jewellery which includes all of my piercing studs, my nose ring, my white gold 'A' gothic style necklace and the two rings Javier had given me on my sixteenth birthday.

Yes, I still wear them and have done ever since he gave them to me.

I don't know why I still wear them, all I know is that I do and I just can't seem to find it in my heart to remove them for good.

I quickly blow-dried my hair into my natural beach waves and styled it into a ponytail with two braids on the sides of my head and I did a little bit of make-up as well keeping it light and natural.

When I was ready to leave and face the day, I grabbed hold of my phone and keys before leaving my room making sure to lock it before leaving the clubhouse and heading towards the canteen.

The Aces and Eights MC has grown significantly in the past twenty-plus years and we've got more pack members today than we ever have in our entire existence as a pack, so my parents have had to build not only a bigger clubhouse but also several other homes and facilities to help facilitate everyone in our pack.

On my way to the cafeteria, I passed a tree which holds a lot of good memories for me.

I wanted to ignore it and focus straight ahead on the canteen but a strong pull forced me to walk towards it and as soon as I got closer to it, I was instantly hit with many different memories and emotions, especially when I saw the carving of a heart with J&A Forever on it.

My eyes immediately filled with unshed tears as I touched the carving whilst remembering Javier's last promise to me before he disappeared.

"Don't forget that it's you and me forever, baby, I promise you that no matter what happens, it's always going to be Javvy and Addy together forever, I love you, mi reina'.

A sob escapes my mouth as I remember his words.

"Don't cry, Addy, please"

"I can't help it, Cres, Javier didn't just break his promises but he also broke me as well"

I said to my wolf as I did something I haven't done in years, I cried.