Love Doesn't Exist

new schools new rules.

I wake up and notice I've woken up early again but not as early as the other day. I look over check my phone 5:56. mkay well school starts at eight thirty. Te told me that the school is only half an hour away even with traffic. I get up and stop off my clothes until I'm left in only my new matching blue underwear and bra. I walk over to my walk in wardrobe and pick out an outfit. Te told me last night that I didn't exactly have to abide by the exact dress code because she had kind of bribed the principle, I mean it might not be right thing to do but it won't hurt anyone so you know. I pick out a short pink silk slip dress that goes to just above my knees. I also add some black wedge boots and a denimum jacket. I go to the bathroom and put on some lip tint, mascara and some winged eye-liner. and very light foundation. I brush my teeth and then check the time again it only just past seven. sitting in my room I remember the jewellery we got yesterday. I go and pick out some silver hoops and then some amethyst sqaure cuts for my second lob peircing along with stud with a small sapphire for my upper helix. I examine my reflection, think I want to get my nose pierced. I also put on a bangel and anklet with charms. I pick up my bag with all my new books and stationary and go down to the driveway.

when I get there the man from the airport is waiting. "we'll take the mustang" I say as I walk towards it opening the door. the drive is quite and a bit awkward with the dude driving but I can't complain. we pull up outside the school and everyone is looking, I didn't think this through. I'm new to people looking at me. I sigh " thanks for the ride my dude" he looks at me "my name is chad" I have to stop myself from laughing, I didn't know people actually called their kids Chad. can you imagine you give birth to a little boy, they pass you the paperwork and ask you what you're going to call him and you say Chad. what the f**k. no I shouldn't think that, that's mean. "okay Chad, thanks" I open the door and get out. it feels like all the eyes in this vicinity are on me as I walk through the school to the administration. "hi I'm new here, I'm Claire can I have my schedule?" I ask the lady at the front desk. "yes dear, here it is along with your locker number and combination, a girl called Ava will be at your locker to show you to your classes and what not, if you need anything else you know where to find me" she glances down at what I'm wearing but doesn't say anything. "thank you" I say and leave to find my locker. finally I find it. right across from a group of loud boys. urg are you kidding me. just as I started to stuggle with my combination a girl with bad acne and a high ponytail ends up in my face. "hi I'm Ava, here let me help you" she shoves the thingy and it pings open. "so what do you have first?" she my sheet and has a look. "ah geometry it's just down the hall to the left" I pull out my geometry book and science book since that's what I have second period. "thanks Ava" after I speak she smiles so much I realise she's wearing invisaline. "oh my God you have an accent where are you from?" she said it so loudly a few guys from the group of boys looked our way. "I'm from Australia" she looks me over "why did you come here?" I really can't be bothered with this. "err before we get to know each other can you also show me where the science class rooms are so you don't have to show me where to go at second period." she's kinda annoying me and I think I'd rather figure this s**t out on my own. so I nod and pretend to listen while she shows me around.

the first and second period go by in a blur while I come up with a lie about how my parents were going through a mid life crisis and that's why I've suddenly moved here. at lunch I go to the cafeteria and just get a ice coffe to drink. I look across the tables not sure where to sit. I see a table of girls who don't seem bitchy or nerdy, one of them waves me over. so I go and sit down with them. "hi we saw you over there looking and we thought you should join us, I'm Reese and this is tasha, Mia and beck" she holds her hand out for me to shake. "er I'm Claire and I don't like shaking hands" I say sitting down "oh sorry, okay." I look around at the girls as they watch me "where are you from?" beck says and all the other girls death stare her "beck on my God you're so rude!" Mia exlaims kicking the girl under the table. "oh it's fine really, I'm from Australia" they all get excited as per usual I get all the same questions, yes Australia is a real place, no we do not ride kangaroos like horses, yes we do eat them sometimes, no we do not say shrimp and all that stuff. "so where did you get that dress from?!" Mia asks as she shows me to my next class instead of Ava. "erm well I'm not sure really it was a gift" I lie. I'm not sure why but I don't really want people to know such a famous couple adopted me. I just feel like they'll look at me differently and probably not in a positive way. "really it looks a lot like the one from the cover of Gucci" I shake my head and laugh "as if! it's probably a knock off brand or something" she smiles not convinced. "just so you know, I know Angus and Tricia adopted you, and that's probably a genuine Gucci dress. I haven't told anyone else that I know, but everyone will find put eventually." she says quietly. i watch her wave to me and then walk back down the hall the way we came and I sit down in my visual art class. I look around and find all the tables have been used up except for one at the back with only one seat left. but the group of loud boys from across my locker are sitting there. there's eight of them altogether, they have peircings and tatoos. one of them is clearly the boss. all the others give him more space and you can just tell by the way he sits and speaks, what he says seems to go. "okay class you need to sit down" the teacher directly looks at me. "class this is our new student, would you like to introduce yourself?" she asks. this is the third teacher to ask me this today. "um well my name's Claire and I'm from Australia" the class smiles and a few people wave. "okay well how about you take a seat at the back with those gentlemen" the old lady says clearly blind because who would want to sit with them. fucken hell. I walk over to them and take the seat which is next to the Alfa of the pack. his hair is unkept and wavy grown out with the sides shaved, he has his ear peirced and tattoos on his hand. "today we will be practising shading, I want you all to firstly draw a circle and turn it into a sphere with a shadow, then I want you to look at this apple and draw an apple, today is a double lesson so take your time" then the grey haired lady sits down to have a nap in her chair. I open my sketch book and start to do what she says. but I notice all the boys aren't doing anything. they just start talking. "hey jay man, we going over to your house tonight..." they talk about girls, they talk about bashing people, they talk about who they wish they could kill, one of them talks about a tatoo they want to get. I find out the Alfa's name is jay probably short for something. and I'm pretty sure they're the arseholes of the school. you know when the fire alarm goes off and you know it's always those certain kids fault. yeah well these are those kids. right when there was only about half an hour of the lesson left one of the boys puts his bag on the table to get something out. but when he opens his bag to get something out a hand gun falls out, right onto my artwork. "for f***s sake Tylor I told you to be more careful!" someonr whisper yells. unconsciously I pick up the gun and unload the bullets. since we were at the back of the class no one was looking. after tipping all the bullets into my hand and looking at them I look up to notice all the boys staring at me. "yo what the f**k little girl, how do you know how to do that!?" tylor says snatching the gun and the bullets outta my hand. "oh uh sorry, I just well, I grew up around those" I was going to say more but their faces shut me up "oh really the little Australian princess knows her way around a gun." I roll my eyes. "just cause I look like that doesn't mean I am" I scoff and go back to my work. "do you know how to use one?" a different boy says, this one looks high as hell. "well yeah of course" I answer, the Alfa dude looks somewhat impressed. "Sam leave the girl alone" he grunts. his voice super deep. I look at him and notice he has a scar across his eyebrow. "were you in a gang?" Sam prys. "no, I just grew up in a really bad neighbourhood and my parents were drug dealer's for most of my childhood" I talk while I do my work. "are they still dealing?" another question from Sam. "no" I say bluntly. "too bad my dealer was hit in a drive by the other day and I'm in the market for a new one" he says it as if its like getting a new doctor because the old one retired. "what about you? do you deal?" God this guy seems desperate. "no, but what do you use?" he Shrugs "whatever I feel like, I've done pretty much everything but my go to is just weed." he says. I nod, I've personally never done drugs or even smoked, I hate them to be honest. "I don't use" I say. "why not? it's fun" one of the other guys says laughing. I shrug "I just don't feel like I need them or anything." the Alfa seems to be interested in what what we're talking about but doesn't say anything. before they can ask me anymore questions the bell goes off and everyone quickly leaves to go to our next classes. I have world history next, I hope there's more seating choices there.

on my way there I take a wrong turn and have to turn around to get to my class, by the time I'm there all the seats have been taken except one. again at the back of the class, but this time only the Alfa is there. oh well. I quickly sit down in the seat next to him. for the next hour I listen to the teacher drone on about ancient Egypt. "okay so I'm pairing you guys up for the year so you'll have the same partner for every project, don't worry you don't have a project to do yet." he proceeds to pair up all the kids with pretty much whoever they were sitting next too. great I'm gonna get stuck with either Alfa or derpy stoner, who's on my other side. "claire, and Jayden" oh so his full name is Jayden. wait what! I'm going be stuck doing the projects all by myself I can already tell this guys not gonna help at all. I sigh. "am I really that bad?" I hear Alfa say I turn to him and see he's smirking. "err I dunno really" I whisper, since the teacher as gone back to talking to the class.

at lunch I ask the girls about him. "can you tell me about jay, what's the deal with him and his mates, why is everyone scared of them?" Mia's eyes nearly fall out her head. "how do you not know? well to start off with since they were even primary school they've been real little bullies and as they got older it got worse. will was invloved with a murder trial a few months ago and Sam is often done for d.u.i's and getting drugs confiscated. the others are always getting into fights and it's often you find them switch guns outside and even inside school. most people think they're in a gang, I think so too" she says convinced. but I didn't think gangs are actually a real life thing you know. what a crock of s**t I bet they're just bad kids.

after school Chad is there to pick me up in the same car he dropped me off in. when I get home I realize I have nothing to do. I go to the kitchen to grab a snack and see a note. it says "had the room renovated while you were at school, go have a look- T" wow that was quick. after I get some popcorn I head up to my room and change into a singlet and sweat pants and tie my hair into a messy bun. then I go to check out my new art studio. I walk in and stop in my tracks. there's a desk in one corner, and an easil in another. along a whole wall are floating shelves with every medium, material and brush you could think of. the walk in wardrobe has been turned into another supply room. she really out did herself. I get out a canvas and some oil paints and begin to sketch a design.

three hours later I hear the door creaks open "hey Te tell me what you think?" I ask "I'm not Te but I can tell you it looks beautiful" Gus says. "oh, ah hi Gus" I say. "umm so Te ended up having to work later than she thought" he says awkwardly rubbing his neck. I feel awkward too so I turn back around. "do you want me to have some food sent up here for your dinner?" he asks. smart man, it would be way to weird to sit down and try to eat together without Te to start all the conversations. "oh um yeah" I hear him walk towards the door "Te said you like sushi, is that what you'd want?" he says unsure. "um yeah sure, I don't really mind tlwhat I have" i mumble "awsome" he says and then I hear the door click shut. I look out the open window and see that it's gotten dark outside without me noticing. I look over to my desk and see the bar fridge next to it. I find that it doesn't have any alcohol in it but there's chocolates, jucies, fizzy drinks and icecream. I pull out a bottle of juice and quickly drink it all. I guess I got so into doing my art and I forgot to stop for a break. knock knock "come in!" I call. "here's your dinner missy" Val says placing a small tray of sushi on my desk. as she turns to leave she has a look at my painting. "looks good" she says smiling. "thanks val"

for the rest of the night I keep working on my new master piece until I get too tired, then I drag myself to my room and go to bed without putting on my pajamas.